to think that allowing a six year old to suck her mothers breasts when she has NOT been breast feeding for years is wrong?

[toffetwist]

I have a friend. Who recently told me that she lets her 6 year old child suck her breasts. She is not breast feeding her and has not for years.

I am disturbed. Am I right to be? What do I do?

[StellaDallas]

This is a rather different scenario, however.

[candyrock]

Hi there toffe, wow your friends daughter must really feel comfortable with you to talk about this.
Did your friend extended breast feed? If so I do have a couple of friends who let their older child suckle when they were really distressed or very ill, even though they wern't lactating. I think it was about comforting the child. Although this might seem strange I don't think it is at all unusual with prolonged breast feeders. A bit like returning to the thumb or dummy when it has been given up.
Do you have any other causes for concern??

[cafebistro]

Is that not a bit harsh stelladallas? Remind me not to cross you!

[StellaDallas]

Maybe a bit harsh, but I was a bit aghast at the way posters piled in on this thread to confirm the OP's rather worrying view that there was something overtly sexual in a mother allowing a six year old to suck her breasts. For many mothers, even if they are no longer breastfeeding, their breasts are not sexual objects at all in relation to their children. I can quite see that if one of my children asked me if they could suck my breasts to see what it felt like that I might allow them to do so. I think the OP's attitude is unnecessarily prurient and unless she has any other grounds for concern - and she has given no indication of this - then is indeed being very unreasonable, and not a particularly good friend either.

[toffetwist]

Thank you. I feel better for talking to others about this.

Stella, I dont care if you think this is none of my buisness I had to talk it over with others and this is what I have done.

[theSuburbanDryad]

See, Stella, you've done that cardinal thing of telling an AIBU poster that, yes, they are in fact being very unreasonable.

I don't just think you are being unreasonable, OP, i think you are a sick fucking troll as well. Off you fuck, dearie

[DarthVader]

I see nothing untoward about a 6 year old asking to suck her mother's breasts.

I think it very odd that a friend is considering taking action on this information.

[flubdub]

oh no, i dont think shes a troll, and , if she isnt, thats a bit harsh.

[toffetwist]

not a troll, just worried. Its helpful to get others opinions

[southeastastra]

ew well dodgy op

fio

[candyrock]

Tofetwist you haven't replied, did your friend extended breastfeed? I really think this might be key here. Lots of people keep very quiet about prolonged feeding of older children for fear of judgement of others. Are you sure that this isn't the case here? You mention a divorce. Is the child distressed about this?

[onepieceoflollipop]

Sorry if someone has already asked this. When your friend told you she lets her daughter suck her breasts did she mean as a one-off or as an ongoing thing?

My dd1 is almost 5, and on occasion (while I have been feeding her little sister) jokes about and pretends she wants some. I think if she did try and latch on I would let her do so as a one off. I know that the op's friend doesn't have a younger b/f child. However is it possible that unbeknown to the op the friend did do extended b/f (some people keep this private within the family to avoid rude nosey people commenting) So there could be a scenario that this child was b/f say until 4 or 5 and remembers it and more recently asked for comfort. Just a thought?

[nooka]

Nothing weird about daughter asking. A bit strange that mother said yes, and I would wonder what motivated her to say yes. But I wouldn't do anything about it given the circumstances, having said that all I would do is talk to my friend about it, and I probably still would do that.

[toffetwist]

the child did breastfeed to the age of 2.

Perhaps you are correct.

I do know that she definately does not breastfeed now.

Think the child is distressed about the divorce.

[FairyMum]

I can categorically say that after bf 4 children I could have my 9 year-old, DH, neighbours, colleagues, gordon brown sucking my breasts 24/7 and I would see nothing sexual about it. Hope that doesn't put anyone off bf reading my post.

[stitch]

flub dr who started.
how could anyone be discussing this wehn the doctor is on?

[Teuch]

I'm a bit at the fact that you have made the leap to assuming it is because she is getting divorced and is lonely...wtf?

The simple answer was in one of the first responses - if you think that there is anything sexual then you have a responsibility to act - if not, then you could always say 'gosh, wouldn't it be a bit awkward if she was telling people that publically!' and see where it goes if you must do anything.

[bluewolf]

toffee face you've changed your story three times at least since you began this. First your friend told you then it was by accident and then the 6 yr old confided in you and shamefacedly confirmed the story. Persoanlly I feel that us bfs have a duty to replace the milk that Thatcher stole and so if anyone asks they're welcome to it. At least my nipples don't get pecked by paedophile bluetits like those poor bottles the milkman used to deliver

[toffetwist]

same story-please read it.

[theSuburbanDryad]

Ok.

Let's assume you're not a troll

Your friend is getting divorced.

Her dd feels insecure.

Her dd remembers the time when she was bf and remembers the feeling of security and love that that brought.

She asks to breastfeed again.

Your friend says yes.

The dd then tells you and you assume that she is being sexually abused (i mean - that is your assumption, no? That's why you've got us all here vilifying your friend?)

I put it to you that her dd is not being sexually abused. I would assume that the mother only wished to make her dd feel secure again - as the divorce had made her feel insecure (your assumption, not mine). Unless the mother is somehow forcing her dd to suckle at the breast whilst masturbating wildly, i would find it very difficult to assume that any abuse was going on.

Is that a more helpful and less harsh post?

[toffetwist]

intresting opinion