to think that allowing a six year old to suck her mothers breasts when she has NOT been breast feeding for years is wrong?

[toffetwist]

I have a friend. Who recently told me that she lets her 6 year old child suck her breasts. She is not breast feeding her and has not for years.

I am disturbed. Am I right to be? What do I do?

[nooka]

Think people are being somewhat unfair on toffetwist. she has at no point mentioned abuse, sexual or otherwise. She said she felt disturbed and that she wanted to talk it over. I don't see why that's a problem really? It is a the very least unusual for a mother to agree to let her daughter suck her breasts if breastfeeding stopped four years ago. I couldn't imagine doing it myself (my dd is 7 - her breastfeeding days seem a very very long time ago to me).

[daddymarv]

Come on Toffetwist spill!

[Pannacotta]

toffeetwist why would you DO anything? It's not really anthing to do with you.

[StellaDallas]

So what are you going to do?

[Heated]

Yes, I would think this weird. No I wouldn't do anything.

Why did the dd tell you?

[daddymarv]

Well Toffetwist, I am a bloke and even I can see that a child sucking on their mother's breast is not a sexual or 'disturbing' thing when they are prebubescent. In Mumsnet lingo (see I said I've been lurking for some time) I believe you're just a big fat troll.

[daddymarv]

Correction

[Desiderata]

You're being a tad militant this eve, UD

The vast majority of us, both male and female, would find the notion of putting a six year old to the breast extremely off-putting.

I know you like breast-feeding, etc., and it's all well and good with infants, but not with kids who go to school.

Troll or no troll, it's not within the comfort zone of most people.

[KatieDD]

I agree, a most strange topic to start your mumsnet career with and you probably need your ISP tracing and reporting yourself as I rather suspect the only sinister one around here is you.

[daddymarv]

Hey Des. Think this may be a case of mistaken ID. Anyway why should school dictate when a child must stop being fed / comforted by BF. School age differs from country to country.

[Desiderata]

Sorry, Marv. I don't understand your post. I was addressing my comments to the SuburbanDryad, who used to be plain UrbanDryan (hence UD) ... although never plain, you understand

[Heated]

Would we feel any differently if the dd was a ds?

[thisisyesterday]

not at all. are you implying that this is somehow sexual??

[daddymarv]

Hi Desi, sorry thought you were referring to other dad poster! My other comments still stand though.

Heated, no, no, no!

[Desiderata]

Well, hypothetically speaking, I would think it was sexual if a six year was brought to a non-lactating breast.

Breasts are sexual organs, after all. It is possible to be brought to orgasm by sucking on the breast.

[thisisyesterday]

why not though?
if the child has asked to do it for comfort, and the mother has no problem with it then I see no reason why they shouldn;t. if your child asked for a hug would you say "no, i think you should have a back rub instead"??
if it's something the mother was uncomfortable with she would have said no, and they'd have done something else. she clearly is happy with it, and did it for her child.

or, it could be that the child had just asked a couple of times, out of curiousity and mum had let her. again, not really a problem is it?

ok, it may not be everyone's cup of tea. a lot of people would just say no. this mum didn't. she hasn't done anything wrong though.

[reethi96]

It is possible to say "no" to a child. Why is it that everyone these days gives in to childish demands.

[Desiderata]

eewww, yesterday.

Sorry, but I would have a huge problem with it.

[thisisyesterday]

yes, no-one is disputing that you can say "no" to a child.

perhaps the mother didn't want to say no? perhaps she is happy to nurse her child?

fgs, just because something isn't the norm doesn't make it wrong.

just because you can orgasm by having your breasts touched does NOT make their primary use sexual.

child wanted to suckle.
mum was happy to let her.
we don't know how often, we don't know why, we don't, in fact, know very much at all.
and yet everyone is quick to say how "wrong" it all is..... why???????

[thisisyesterday]

that's ok too desiderata, no-one is asking you to do it. and if your child asked you and you didn't want to you could say no.

we all parent differently. we all have different things that we accept as ok and normal. different boundaries.

in their family this is an ok thing to do. I don't think that any of us are in any place to judge are we?

unless of course it was an issue of abuse, which based on what the OP has said, it isn't.

[daddymarv]

OP possibly refers to child being distressed due to divorce.

Desi, but bike riding can give a big O (or so I've heard )

I think it's fair to say that breasts can be sexual but are not exclusively so.

[Desiderata]

Would you be happy to do so?

I have a three year old son, who wants to (in his own words) pooh on my head and wee in my ear.

Silly though this all sounds, these things are the precursor to sexual desire. I remember these feelings when I was very young.

Whilst all sexual feeling is entirely natural, I think it's completely disengenous to assume that to suckle a six year old on the breast is totally without sexual context.

If there is no milk, there is no need.

[reethi96]

Lol Des. Don't you just love little boys.