is this rude or not?

[MrsSylar]

Went out for dinner with 3 work colleages the other night. One of them is quite a good friend, the other two I am not as close with, yet we get on very well.

Just before food was served, one of them said " fancy a fag" and all 3 of them got up, went outside and left me sitting there on my own.

Now, I didn't mind too much - I am a grown up and don't need someone to sit with me all the time just, in case I get lonely, but it did strike me as a bit rude.

What do you think? Was it rude, or am I being a bit touchy

It's the crazy optimism of youth that makes you believe you are invincible.
That's it- smokers are life's optimists

It would be the same if they'd all trotted off to the loo together. What are they? Teenagers?

Due to the numbers for each smoker to have a ciggy there would always have to be someone left on their own either in or out. Otherwise smokers who'd already had one may have to go out again to accompany another then of course they'd end up lighting up again they'd let on they'd had another then the other smoker inside would start wanting another . . . .

The way it can be done is that Smoker 1 stays out for TWO cigs - having the first with Smoker 2 and the second with Smoker 3 - so all 3 smokers can have a fag without the non-smoker being left on their own.

I am very surprised they didn't do this!

Call themselves smokers??! Passing up the chance for 2 cigs on the trot? Pah. Lightweights.

when i was a heavy smoker in my youth, as i may be again someday, who knows? it wasnt optimism that 'let' me do it, it was self destructive tendencies. i was quite happy to die young. i think i will die not v old either way, but id rather do it in something more closely approximating comfort than drowning in my own blood.

oh dear, came across all po-faced tghere. didnt mean to. doh!

think its weird to leave one fo a group all alone.

Yes, it is rude, but so is your husband's habit of removing people's brains and stealing their super powers.

is it bad that i cant be arsed to read whole threads anymore? i keep missing all the snippy bits

I can see where you're coming from, but also I try to see situations from other people's point of view. Your colleagues are smokers, which I expect you knew. They can no longer smoke in a restaurant (which I am sure you are very pleased about, I love smoke-free restaurants too). So, either they are rude to you, by going outside to smoke (which presumably is preferable to blowing it in your space) OR you spoil their evening by expecting them not to smoke all night. i have no strong feelings either way, just saying there are two sides to every story.

rude

if i were the person left at the table, id be [reoccupied with thumb twiddling in effort to distract myself from wanting to be outside smoking with them, rather than thinking 'rude cows'. but still, i think its odd to leave one person of a group on their todd without at least checking they were ok with it.

rude and odd I think - did it only happen once? what about after the meal with coffee etc did they have theirs outside and leave you on your own?

fair comment littlelapin, I agree.
Personally, wouldn't bother me being left on my own for 5 mins, but can see that others might not like that so fair comment.

It seems to me that smokers are the new lepers. Proposed smoking rotas aside, if one of the 3 smokers had been left outside alone, no-one on this thread would have thought anything of it.

I reckon it doesn't matter who did what - whatever the smoker(s) did would be wrong as far as many of you are concerned.

jammi raises an interesting point, albeit unintentionally. If 2 people are going to dinner and one of them is a smoker, is it necessarily rude for them to leave their companion alone at the table to go outside to smoke? Not imho.

They would choose to be outside. Why should other people accommodate their addiction? It's up to them.

Perhaps the best resolution would be if the smoker(s) asked the non smokers how they felt about being left alone and some compromise being worked out between them?

'smokers are the new lepers'
ROFL

oh get a grip. i was a smoker too. it is actually a choice you know, not something foisted upon you by happenchance.

It was a bit rude I think - BUT who wants to sit having dinner with three addicts who haven't got their fix - grumpy and tetchy companions eh.. any takers?
Can't believe they went out before the food though - I suppose their taste buds are a few as their manners.

Hope you had a lovely time to yourself and had a little meditate or time to yourself? It's not all that bad to be left at a table on your own - especially if you've got smallies flinging food around at home!

I hope you ordered an extra glass of wine at least and got your book out!