Nugget drama

[madcol]

My mum was babysitting my DS today ; when I asked what he had had for lunch she said ' chicken nuggets' from McDonalds.

She knows my opinions on this type of food. He would never be given these kind of things at home and she knows this very well. He doesn't even eat meat - his own preference.

When I asked her why she said she neede to find something in a hurry but the McDonalds was directly opposite a waitrose and DS would have been very happy with some ricecakes. I personally see no justification for going to McDonalds unless no other food is available.

I know one Mcdonalds meal will not kill him but I am really cross with my mum for going against my well-voiced opinions about DS's food.

I think McD's has changed the way a lot of it's food is made (I think, so please don't jump on me if you know different!!).
It's reduced the amount of salt in the nuggets and it's made from chicken breast ect (though it's not chunks of chicken breast I know). So I agree with the poster that said it's not worse than a lot of the other kids meals out there.

And burger King now do chiken fillet strips with no artificial preservatives and flavours or something so IMO that would be ok to give the dc's as a treat.

My ds is 14 months and loves McD's nuggets but he doesn't have then often, only when dd's have McD's adn at all other times I take the dc's food very seriously and give them the best that I can. But sometimes I'm too blooming tired to cook and the drive thru is very handy - I don't even have to get dressed

I was reading out your posts and laughing about how ridiculous you were being when my dh pointed out a similar scenario in my past.

My dd was looked after by my MIL to the age of 2 for one day a week. I never liked the arrangement much, and she did lots of stuff that really ticked me off.

The incident in quesiton, however, wound me up beyond reason, much as your McDonalds situation has.

My Mil used to dress my child in different clothes...photograph her, then put her back in her own clothes for when I picked her up. I woudn't have known about this but she accidentally gave me the wrong pack of photos one day when I was visiting and there was dd in clothes I'd never seen before. It sounds really petty now, but god, it drove me insane.

It's a control thing. You have the things you want for your child and you make this clear to your relatives. They then disregard these wishes and do stuff that you find distasteful or ridiculous.

I'd say there may be other things going off here, outside the McDonalds incident.

AYBU about the McDonalds? To some degree yes...it's just a one off. Are you being unreasonable about the fact that your wishes have been flouted? No. You're just having that perfectly illogical, irrational reaction to other people looking after your child in a way that seems inappropriate.

You'll look back at it when DS is 6 or 7 and realise that it didn't really matter much in the scheme of things. But you're entitled to your annoyance right now.

Thanks to DH for taking my eye off the McNugget debate (and it sounds like your DS does like meat, so I woudn't rule that out of his diet unless you really have to).

As a two-year-old, DS1 once had a tantrum because I'd run out of rice cakes (little apple ones). I thought of MN as he was doing it. It soothed me to think of the insults that would come my way if I posted about it

But want to add that, regardless of my views on McDs, you're entitled to feed, or not feed, your child what you want and it's not for anyone else to say any different.
I think that your mum should respect your wishes if it's something you feel strongly about. But don't fall out with her over it, just state your feelings, but also say things like 'I know you just wanted to give him something to eat' and 'you're a great granny, he loves you' ect.

After all you don't want your mum to think that looking after your ds is too stressful and not want to do it, it does give you a nice break!

oh I do like the title
well done

No, you're not being unreasonable. You've stated your postion clearly, explained both the nature of and the reason for your concerns, and have accepted feedback gracefully.

Alas, what you have also done, is to trigger the mumsnet Less Judgemental Than Thou Response Force (Inverse Snobbery Division).

The line of argument that, because you aren't paying for your childcare, you should shut up and be grateful, even when your wishes regarding certain fundamental issues are ignored (no matter in how well meaning a fashion), is just nonsense. I'm not sure what kind of relationship everyone else on this thread has with their mum, but I tend to speak to mine as one adult to another. And I'd be able to say to her, 'Actually, I'd rather you hadn't done that. Next time, maybe you could...' without causing her any upset, appearing ungrateful, or damaging our relationship. I probably wouldn't seek validation from mumsnet first, mind you.

FWIW, I wouldn't want my kids to eat in Macdonalds. I haven't spent three decades boycotting the bloody place just for the fruits of my loins to get stuck into a Happy Meal the first time I turn my back. It's not about the food for me in this case, although (and feel free to call me a lentil-knitting whale-botherer) I do actually prefer my children not to eat crap, if there is an alternative. And it seems that, in this case, there was.

I don't think it's you who needs to 'chill'.

Oh button it and have a big mac

Do they have gherkins in? That would be one of my five-a-day, right?

If you dont want your DS to have a one off treat from his Nana, then
PAY someone, then you can give them a long harsh list of dos and donts.

If your mum is doing it for free, paying for his food then you are lucky and should shut the hell up

Yup, WoWWidow, you're absolutely right. Only those who can afford to pay for childcare (or to stay at home with their children in the first place) should be allowed some say in what happens to them.

Totally reasonable.

Sorry.

Mymum looks after my DS at £7 an hour, on a sat and sun. For this if she did something I didnt like I would tell her.

I work full time overnights 40 hours a week, and am tired.

My mum gave DS a McDonalds Icecream once. She wont again cos he was hyper for the whole day!

But honestly, WoWWidow, are you saying that if you didn't pay your mum, you wouldn't tell her if she was doing something you didn't like? How else would she know?

I don't think the OP was planning on calling her mum up from the scullery and giving her a lecture...

My mum doesnt give one shit that i want anyway TBH.

Im just jealous so just egnore me.

She does waht she wants with DS.

If it was up to me i wouldnt look after him atall but i dont earn enough money. DS hates me anyway.

My apologies.

This is very interesting, but could you please come and answer my horse punching question........

Posts crossed THW.

I understand what you're saying. But I still don't see the problem with the OP letting her mum know that this particular decision was one she would rather wasn't made in the future if at all possible. And actually, it's quite easy not to eat at MacDonalds - it's not as though the OP is kicking off because nap time was 7 minutes late, is it?

It doesn't matter who looks after your child they should respect they are your child. Mum would take my brothers kids to McDonald's, my one nephew has eating problems (long story and more complicated than you will think straight off) and for a time it was the only way they could get food into him. Mum knows I don't like McDonald's and wouldn't take Tink. She knows I prefer her to drink juice than squash, so when they're out she gives her juice (she has very weak squash at my parents, but you don't buy very weak squash, it comes ready made).

I would be cross if someone offered to take Tink then completely went against my beliefs to feed her. Even when my brother has her he doesn't take her to McDonald's.

See, I'm not getting that this is some kind of chronic, persistent problem. OP asked if she was being unreasonable and, based on this happening once, many people think she was being unreasonable.

I think you can expect people to, within reason, follow your choice of care whether you pay them or not.

The point is that one incidence of 'rule-breaking' is nothing to be overly precious about.

I don't think we really know how 'het up' the OP was, or is.

Maybe we need some sort of hetupometer?

she did say she was 'really cross'...that would qualify as 'het up' in my book

I'm going to buy some rice cakes for the kids. They are actually quite nice with stuff on them, like cheese and pickle.

YANBU to be cross with your mum for not adhering to your expressed preferences. That seems to have got lost amongst the issues about ricecakes and McDonalds!

And whether she's paid by you or does it out of love is neither here nor there.

However, I think you need to cut her a bit of slack here - as with anyone dealing with childcare. Young children are not predictable and situations can arise when things have to be done which may not entirely satisfy you.

You haven't really said why your mother chose the McDonald's option - there could be all sorts of reasons why it was her choice.

Equally, have you really explained to her the rationale behind your thinking (for all your preferences)?

And what, really, is your objection to McDonalds?

Here I think YABU. Your son was cared for and fed something when he was hungry.

Teuch - nah. She didn't use italics, after all. I'm getting 'intensely but briefly miffed'.

BecauseI'mWorthIt, I don't think it's unreasonable to object to MacDonalds. Expensive, sometimes. But not unreasonable.