My eldest daughter thinks she can tell me how to raise MY own children??

[JustAskingReally88]

my eldest daughter has really annoyed me today 🙄

she has been having a go at me about how i raise the younger ones, apparently they need more routine and apparently im too soft with them??

she has got children herself so now she thinks shes some sort of parenting expert lol

i have raised my children and i know what im doing. im not saying im perfect because nobody is but they are fed, clothed, loved and looked after so what exactly is the problem??

what annoys me most is she seems to forget who was there when she had her first child. who was up with her, who helped her, who dropped everything when she needed somebody and who was there when she didnt know what she was doing 🤷‍♀️

i certainly wasnt standing over her criticising every little thing she did.

now shes got a few years of being a mum under her belt she thinks she can lecture me about my own household. she was happy enough to come running to me when she needed help but apparently everything i do is wrong now 🙄

ive told her if she doesnt like how i do things then she can stay at her own house. i dont go round telling her how to raise hers so why does she think she can tell me how to raise mine??

at the end of the day im still their mum and i know my own children better than anybody else does.

AIBU to think your grown children shouldnt constantly criticise your parenting??

or am i just expected to sit there and take it because shes my daughter??

Your daughter is 22 with multiple kids including g one that’s school age. She was a teenage mother, you were a teenage mother too looking at your username. Maybe it would be good to reflect on parenting style so it does not happen to your other kids.

"fed, clothed, loved and looked after so what exactly is the problem??" - This is the bare minimum. There so many other factors to parenting & it will be that she will be picking up on. Maybe she feels you treated her differently, was more strict ect.

You sound toxic, self-centred and emotionally immature.

Your eldest daughter doesn't benefit from you becoming a better parent so there's no ulterior motive. Now she's a parent and around other newer parents she will be learning best practice and latest guidance for stuff.

You've not actually said that she's giving you bad advice, so I'm to take it that you aren't capable of self-reflection and you don't understand that in life we are supposed to improve and get better.

Rather than getting focused on your bruised ego, why don't you consider that she might be giving you good advice? Children do need a routine and while she's not been a mum as long as you, she has been patented by you so knows your parenting style.

Separately, listing all the things you've done for her isn't going to win you friends.

I think you perhaps need to grow up a bit.

Christ, are you 3?!

Tell her to give it a rest, sounds like she grew up alright so you must be doing something right. I agree with another poster that's she's swallowed all the social media 'advice' on parenting whole and is inflicting it on you. Letting them watch cartoons if they are not well rather than doing piano practice or aqua aerobics or whatever they 'should' be doing is not a capital offence.

It sounds like she's touched a nerve and you're lashing out because you know she's right.

What they eat, when they go to bed and what they're allowed to watch are quite big things really depending on the issue.

If you never give fruit or veg, they stay up to midnight and they spend 14 hours a day on YouTube thats a big issue

She's looking out for her younger siblings. Maybe you're really ignorant on what is good or bad screen use. Having a bedtime isn't something new, and if you're an experienced parent you should know that.

I get the impression you're not someone who can adapt to new information.
Don't you want to be a good parent?
Why not use critical thinking and see if there is merit to what she's saying?

You sound really chavvy and I'm wondering if it's just rage bait.

You are mad because she's told you that kids need a set bedtime. Is that not common knowledge?
Are you just embarrassed because she's a better mum?

I suspect this is exactly what is going on. OP has been called out by her own child and is now embarrassed.