Aibu to tell BF his business idea is terrible

[LimeSegment]

I've been with my boyfriend for two years, we don't live together, we are in our 40s. Three months ago he quit his job. He had been unhappy in the job for a while, so that was fair enough. He planned to get another job, but instead had the idea to start a business. The "business" that he settled on is 3D printing. I've mentioned a few times that surely this is more of a side hustle, not something that can replace a full time job, but he just told me that he's "sure it's going to work".

First he made dog models, some were OK, some were really tacky and never would have sold. I tried to tell him this politely but he said some people might disagree (they wouldn't have).

Then he abandoned that idea and came up with a new idea that he's been keeping a secret from me. Last night he finally showed me. It's 3D printed characters that kids can paint, and he plans to sell them for £10+, along with t shirts with kids names on them. There are so many issues with this. You can't sell licensed characters, and there's better, cheaper (official) stuff available at the supermarket. Also kids shouldn't wear shirts advertising their names!

Parents wouldn't buy this. I'm a mum so I would know. He doesn't have kids. I tried to say a few nice things, because I know he wants me to support him and he'll be disappointed if I don't. But I want to tell him it's a shit idea, and he's wasted months on.

Tbh I feel like I've lost respect for him. He cannot possibly be this lacking in intelligence to think this is a great idea. He hasn't done any market research, even on me and I'm a mum and right there. What am I supposed to say? Aibu?

I have done start up business mentoring. this is not uncommon. He needs a properly costed business plan, with swat analysis research etc. fail to plan, plan to fail.

Make it really clear to him that if he isnt going to run this in a proper and business like way, then you arent going to be there to bail out financially or offer moral support.

too many people think starting and running a business is a piece of piss. it isnt. Even good ideas fail without a proper business plan.

Well, serious business experts have often dismissed ideas that made a fortune. And my gran would neve have believed that adult women would pay hundreds of pounds for a toy like thing rto clip on their bag, so who knows! About the copyright etc, maybe it's worth him speaking to a business mentor-don't councils/banks have such people? Maybe worth pointing him towards one?

This.

There are lots of free online courses. I think this is the one I did when I left a previous job and was planning to freelance for a bit.

https://www.kickoffinbusiness.co.uk

Suggest he looks into doing something similar - that way you're being supportive and hopefully he'll realise he's not Alan Sugar in the process.

You might also want to tell him that if any customers asks to see his licensing agreement for the characters he is selling, and he cannot produce it, then in the UK they are entitled to a full refund and do not need to return the item. Someone can buy as many as they like, ask to see his licence and then ask for the refund. And he must refund them.

tell walter mitty to get a job

Do NOT let him move in with you until he has been back in stable employment for some time @LimeSegment

If he asks you to "lend" him any money, refuse.

How blunt to be about the models is up to you. No need to fake enthusiasm for them.

If he is remotely successful he will be picked up if using big name brands.

Considering you are part of his potential customer base why hasn't he discussed the product ideas with you?

Small craft businesses are lucky if they pay their way, they do not make money other than for a tiny percentage who hit on a trend at the right time and know how to run a business.
He would be better signing up for classes in running a small business first, then looking for his market/products. By the time he has done that he will realise being a wage slave is a much easier way to make money.

Incidentally "tacky" or not isn't a business issue - whether its legal and will sell is the business issue. How will he do pricing, packaging, deal with customers, deal with problems etc?

Putting the whole business thing to one side...

The thing that would actually piss me off most is him completely dismissing your thoughts and opinions.

Its absolutely soul destroying long term to be with a partner who thinks that your idea on a topic you actually know about are worth nothing compared to whatever he pulled out of his arse five minutes ago.

Agree with this. Keep your finances out of his flights of fancy.

Also, IMHO, telling someone their idea is terrible will likely cause them to become defensive. If you care for the person, maybe the string of questions to be helpful approach is best.

Well, it is an interesting idea, have you thought of potential licensing issues because some companies sue small entrepreneurs over licensing? Have you thought about pricing? Distribution? Marketing? Can I see your business plan to give it a look over, to be helpful? Oh, you don't have one yet, so here are some links to resources/websites to help you build it. I am sure you'll have a business plan ready in two weeks and I will look it over then.

@LimeSegment btw, one of my DC has a sideline in making 3d models and painting. He makes non copyright but "supporting" pieces for a well-known table top game and paints models for a fee (much more in demand than models to be painted), has a long waitlist.

DC laughs at the idea of making models and selling them as an income - it covers the cost of the hobby, personal related purchases and will never do more than that even if they were daft enough to try and make it a full time job.

Yes, this.

Sorry OP, I know you can see this too and it's one of those "once you've seen it, you can't unsee it" things.

Encourage him to draft a business plan and make an appointment with a business advisor. They’re likely to be free.

So, be gently encouraging in a general way, while steering him towards professional advice.

Don’t get into the detail. It’s not your business.

And there are factories in China with the equipment, and empty shipping containers in the yard. A couple of days after they see something, that might be a goer, a 100000 slightly similar (to avoid copyright problems) will be packed and on a boat, heading for the aisle of doom in Aldi.

The fact that he quit his job in this climate and is not straight out there looking for something else is a huge red flag. 🚩
He will end up frittering away the redundancy which is really only a couple of months salary, and end up on UC or jobseekers.
You do not have compatible lifestyles.
Once on benefits proper and getting all his rent paid, I doubt he will be motivated to actively look for work.
And he'll have a best friend for nice home cooked dinners on date nights at yours, and good sex on tap.
I'm quite envious!

100% agree.

Hi attitude is juvenile & embarrasing - not exactly the qualities you want in a partner.

You've mentioned the divorced mum of two thing a few times. Don't forget that for every divorced mum of two there is a divorced dad of two.
More than 50% of marriages end in divorce. There really is no stigma or shame in it anymore.
I think once you accept this, you will free yourself from this manbaby.
I believe your self esteem is making you feel that you cannot do better.
YOU CAN!!!

Oh dear, that isn't good particularly as he won't listen.

Those sort of craft products are only going to sell well if they have something special or unique about them over and above mass produced (cheaper) similar stuff. I was at a festive fair this weekend and there was a guy whose stall was doing a roaring trade in 3D toys. They were expensive compared to Amazon but his selling point was that they were natural materials, not plastic and used vegetable dye. But he was a retired bloke who did it as a hobby. I doubt he would have been able to scale up even if he wanted because production sounded time consuming. Plus he also had some things that should have been licensed, like the Creepers from Minecraft. You can only "get away with it" if hardly anyone knows about it!

Infuriating but you'll just have to let him fail and find someone else with more common sense

So he expects to sell enough of these items to make a living, but not so many that someone will spot the licensing issue and take action? I'm sorry but you have got yourself an actual copper-bottomed idiot.

Wow, you sound awful. Just do the man a favour and leave him. Why would he want to be with a woman who's lost all respect for him and is unsupportive and discouraging of his ideas? You'd be surprised how many wild, seemingly unlikely ideas succeed with the right atititude and determination. As long as he's not asking you to support him financially, it's your job to be his biggest cheerleader and keep your doubts and negativity to yourself.

Er, no, it's not her job to be his biggest cheerleader, especially when his business is not viable. Women do not owe men uncritical admiration and support for everything they do.

If you want to kill his business idea fast without getting your hands dirty OP gently plant the suggestion that he makes Nintendo models. He will be contacted by Nintendo legal team in about 5 minutes and will quickly understand the meaning of life.

Speaking from experience, relatives are into retro gaming.

Er no, they don't 'owe' it. But wise women give it, where possible, to men they love.

OP, people are telling you you are not his mum and as your finances are not joined, it shouldn’t matter. But I am with you. I would find this level of naivety, lack of critical thinking, lack of basic research skills or even curiosity off putting. He could at least run it by ChatGPT or Claude and get it to critique the plan and suggest better options.

What he is doing would be fine if he was 20. From a guy in his 40ies, it is frankly pathetic. I would not find it attractive and it would make me lose some respect for him.

No. It is NOT her job to be his biggest cheerleader. Partners are there to support but also to be truthful. a shit idea is a shit idea and one with no research, no business plan, no idea of copyright etc is a shit idea.

those people who have successful startups dont just have a good idea. they have a sound business idea. Have you never watched dragons den and seen the number of great ideas which end up on the heap because they forgot to consider copyright? you cant just make figures and sell them that someone else has designed.

In the meantime, you might want to think about a way out of this relationship now that you've seen behind the curtain.
He is nice, kind, you like him, but he is 40, deluded, and not mature. Not great husband, father or even boyfriend material.
This is a situationship, throw him back in.