Aibu to tell BF his business idea is terrible

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I've been with my boyfriend for two years, we don't live together, we are in our 40s. Three months ago he quit his job. He had been unhappy in the job for a while, so that was fair enough. He planned to get another job, but instead had the idea to start a business. The "business" that he settled on is 3D printing. I've mentioned a few times that surely this is more of a side hustle, not something that can replace a full time job, but he just told me that he's "sure it's going to work".

First he made dog models, some were OK, some were really tacky and never would have sold. I tried to tell him this politely but he said some people might disagree (they wouldn't have).

Then he abandoned that idea and came up with a new idea that he's been keeping a secret from me. Last night he finally showed me. It's 3D printed characters that kids can paint, and he plans to sell them for £10+, along with t shirts with kids names on them. There are so many issues with this. You can't sell licensed characters, and there's better, cheaper (official) stuff available at the supermarket. Also kids shouldn't wear shirts advertising their names!

Parents wouldn't buy this. I'm a mum so I would know. He doesn't have kids. I tried to say a few nice things, because I know he wants me to support him and he'll be disappointed if I don't. But I want to tell him it's a shit idea, and he's wasted months on.

Tbh I feel like I've lost respect for him. He cannot possibly be this lacking in intelligence to think this is a great idea. He hasn't done any market research, even on me and I'm a mum and right there. What am I supposed to say? Aibu?

See this attitude would also put me off, why on earth would you want to start a business where at any minute someone could report you and shut you down and you'll be out thousands of pounds, stuck with a load of materials you cant use and without a source of income?
He's got no idea of how many he'd be able to sell as he's got no idea of the market, therefore he's got no idea if he can make a profit!! Never mind a wage for himself! Thats not just 'not academic'. I can see why you're struggling!

I guess so. Maybe I will just say a few no commital things.

I feel like a snob because I feel like I'm losing respect for him. I've got a professional job and work hard raising my kids, he is unemployed and fussing around on a 3d printer all day (well some of the day). But maybe everyone doesn't have to work? If he's getting by, what does it matter. Maybe I'm the one doing life wrong?

I think one of my concerns in that although we didn't have plans to move in together in the short term, I suppose I did see that happening in the long term. I'm now seeing that wouldn't be possible. I don't mind earning more than a partner but not someone who can't pay their way.

What are the good things about him? He does not sound like the man for you. Even if he does go back to work this situation could crop up again and again. I would walk away.

Exactly, everyone is different and that's no issue - but there's "not academic" and then there's downright stupid. The first is fine but the second....

The good things about him would be that he is kind, we talk a lot and have a laugh together. I like spending time together. He accepts my situation (being divorced and having kids) that some men would be put off by.

You can make money out of 3D printing, but it requires pretty expensive and technical equipment. You need to know what specific markets you are going into and where you are going to get customers.

The equipment to produce good stuff (say to compete with precision machining) is costly. Most of the low end/budget ones produce pretty poor stuff.

The good news is that it probably isn't too risky. Either he buys a cheap low end printer and fails horribly, or an expensive one and ends up failing and having to sell it.

I would probably let him know in no uncertain terms that I was not willing to fund any of it and then let him either succeed or fail. Sometimes people need to screw up to get the message.

Well maybe let him explore this idea and just stay a bit at arm's length from it all. Try to not engage?

The equipment isn't too much of an investment as like you say, you can at least sell it, but the main thing he's losing is wages. He hasn't worked for three months and no plans to get a job, he could have earned thousands in that time.

Yes, I suppose this is the way to go. Neither rubbish it nor complement it.

I think you have to be very clear to him that he will not be staying with you for a few nights while he sorts himself out (aka move in and become a cocklodger) or help him with bills etc. I suspect at the moment he sees your relationship as a bit of a safety net.

So he wants to make money doing a craft style business, some people do make a good living out of this style of business. It’s rarely going to make him wealthy, but you can earn enough to get by if you have a good product. It doesn’t sound like he had a particular niche, skill or design that is going to stand out though. Seems more like when everyone started to make wax melts becuase they could and sold a few to friends and on Facebook groups.
i followed a lady who seemed to make quite a bit of money doing hand painted custom shoes with Disney characters on them, but she wasn’t making a fortune, it seemed just enough to get by.
it will be hard to get mortgages and save a retirement fund with his plan, I guess it’s just a case of if you think this compatible with your own plans for the future.?

Tell him clearly now that he can’t move in with you should he lose his home to this hare brained scheme. Otherwise he will blame you if you don’t let him move in.

I guarantee you he would have got a job and not started this ridiculous business if he was single and didn’t have expectations of you being his back up option.

This has potential cocklodger situation written all over it. Be careful OP.

“He knows about the licensing issue but basically said no one would catch him so he'd get away with it.”

He will so get caught. There is a reason for copyrighting, and those who hold a copyright take a dim view of others trying to rip them off. I assume your BF would have to advertise in order to sell his products - so he’ll be found out. OP, your BF sounds like the sort of chap it’s good to have as a friend - but from what you say here, he’s not life partner material. Sadly, he sounds as though he has had an idea but no notion of a business plan, and the fact that it has taken him so long to come up with these frankly not so great ideas means he is destined to fail.

I know, I tried to explain that. I explained that companies use bots to trawl the web for such things, it doesn't rely on say someone from Disney headquarters clicking on your site. He didn't listen.

A relative of mine does 3d printing as a side hustle, selling things like pen pots etc. He sells them for between £3-£10 per item and on average makes perhaps a couple of hundred quid in a month. Certainly not enough to live off. He also uses his 3d printer to make parts for models which he sells, now that makes a bomb. However, the difference with this is he designs and makes these intricate models of, say, a pirate ship himself and makes it using his printer, paints it and installs lights and then sells it. So a huge amount more involved than just finding designs online and selling things that most people don’t want.

The thing with his ‘side hustle’ element is that, once someone has a pen pot then they have one so they won’t rebuy. Anyone who wants something more tricky is likely to have their own 3d printer and will make it themselves. So it’s a very tight market!

You're not a parent to him and he's not a child. You've already given 'polite' critical feedback. Time now for you to scale back and let him make what you perceive to be a mistake

Has he done a business plan, i.e. how many models can he make in a working week, how much does each one sell for on average - that's his MAXIMUM weekly gross income, then he needs to offset his costs, i.e. the materials, the marketing/advertising, postage, ebay/etsy/website platform fees, potentially insurance, subscriptions, professional fees, etc. How much is left over? Is it at least national minimum wage?

Realistically, he'll never compete on mass produced, low value, crap.

If he's serious, he needs to be designing/making higher quality bespoke stuff, but I suspect he'll need a better quality 3D printer to do that. The cheap/affordable ones are seldom good enough quality.

I know a couple of people making bespoke models for model railway enthusiasts, i.e. station buildings, coaches/wagons, etc., and they're doing OK, but it's not mass produced crap - it's highly detailed fine scaled stuff that the buyers are paying top dollar for. The guys doing it are genuine experts in their craft, been doing it for years, and using very expensive 3D printers and top quality materials.

I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone I didn’t think was intelligent. Is this the man for you?

I agree with you that he is unlikely to make a living printing widely available 3D models. Bottom line with anything you make yourself is that if someone can copy it, you will never make a living from it.

However, my brother had a s**t business idea about 15 years ago. It started as a small shop, which failed, but the idea opened lots of doors and new opportunities and he kept pushing through those doors and now he is making a decent living. Some people have to learn by doing.

I guess I would ask about his business plan—what are the costs of raw materials, electricity, and the printer setup (and possibly postage/packaging/fuel/online platform (eBay?etsy?Amazon? fees)? Subtracting these, how much does he make per unit sold? What is his target monthly income? How many units does he need to sell per week to achieve that level of income? Make him draw the lines himself.

And taxes. He needs to aim to subtract 1/4.

It's really made me think about why he's even with me. Maybe the reason he doesn't care if I have kids etc is that he hasn't even thought about the future. He just lives each day in ignorance without thinking about the future. Maybe that's overthinking it.

Lucky, because of my kids, I wouldn't be tempted to let him move in right now, no matter the situation. He would have to move in with his parents if he couldn't pay his rent.

You need to give him honest reasons why it's an absolute load of cobblers.
Show him the alternative products that are superior and cheaper.
Tell him to write a survey and hand it out to parents he knows.

Whatever you do don't give him any money. And if you do come up with an idea as to how he could make money from 3d printing then you'll be wanting a share of the 'profits' if it succeeds!

It might not affect you currently but it could in the future, for instance what if he turns up at your doorstep with nowhere else to go? He might be pretending that he's got enough money now whilst actually running up debt. He might have a long-term plan to live off of you and he's gradually softening you up.
Oh he might come to his senses and get a proper job.
But you're brainier than him and you earn more and you're capable and organized, no wonder he wants to be with you.