Aibu to tell BF his business idea is terrible

[LimeSegment]

I've been with my boyfriend for two years, we don't live together, we are in our 40s. Three months ago he quit his job. He had been unhappy in the job for a while, so that was fair enough. He planned to get another job, but instead had the idea to start a business. The "business" that he settled on is 3D printing. I've mentioned a few times that surely this is more of a side hustle, not something that can replace a full time job, but he just told me that he's "sure it's going to work".

First he made dog models, some were OK, some were really tacky and never would have sold. I tried to tell him this politely but he said some people might disagree (they wouldn't have).

Then he abandoned that idea and came up with a new idea that he's been keeping a secret from me. Last night he finally showed me. It's 3D printed characters that kids can paint, and he plans to sell them for £10+, along with t shirts with kids names on them. There are so many issues with this. You can't sell licensed characters, and there's better, cheaper (official) stuff available at the supermarket. Also kids shouldn't wear shirts advertising their names!

Parents wouldn't buy this. I'm a mum so I would know. He doesn't have kids. I tried to say a few nice things, because I know he wants me to support him and he'll be disappointed if I don't. But I want to tell him it's a shit idea, and he's wasted months on.

Tbh I feel like I've lost respect for him. He cannot possibly be this lacking in intelligence to think this is a great idea. He hasn't done any market research, even on me and I'm a mum and right there. What am I supposed to say? Aibu?

You have kids to raise. You have a career that enables you to do so and pays for the roof over their head and the food they eat and your lifestyle.

Do you make enough to pay for your kids and a dumbass flake who quit his job in this economy and is pretty dumb? Do you want a bf with little work ethic that you're quickly losing respect for?

That's why having a job and not being a slacker matters. It's not snobbish to be practical and not want a likely cocklodger in your life. It's not snobbish to expect your romantic relationship to make your life better. That's what a good, healthy relationship does.

I don't mean to act like I'm the most intelligent person out there, I'm definitely not. But I've got a masters and I earn well at a professional job. But no one's perfect, right. I'm sure anyone could find lots of things wrong with me.

My past relationship, my kids dad was smarter than me but he wasn't really very nice, and he didn't like having conversations. I know it's not between these two men only. There's also other men and obviously being single is fine too.

This would be how I’d describe my DH as well. He’s had some good creative ideas, that are essentially side hustles, hobbies. When he talks about giving up work / becoming a SAHD / retiring to Spain… I do the maths for him!

3D printed spare parts for things could be a thing, does he program the machine himself? 3D models to paint doesn't sound too terrible if he sells with the paints, but I would go with detailed objects like old steam trains or old classic cars that would be suitable for older children or adults, but it depends how much detail he can get in which probably depends on the machine and how good he is at programming it. Getting into infringing copyright would be a mistake and why add T shirts?

I would love to have a play with one of those machines. you can make impossible objects that could never be machined, maybe he could try intricate physical puzzles. I do think 3D printing has a great future it's just finding the applications.

Perhaps he could get a job and carry on trying to find that great idea for the 3D printing in his spare time.

I think there would be a market for personalised t-shirts for children. I see lots of bags and water bottles with names on. I used to have a headband with my name on.
Either way, as you don't live together I'd say it's none of your business and you leave him to make his own financial decisions.

He is a grown man. He doesn’t need anyone’s permission to make mistakes, right? (Your tried but ultimately he is allowed to be wrong and make mistakes)

The part that stood out for me - when you said you lost your respect for him, so I would focus on that - you are learning something new about how you feel about him and whether you want to stay with him - so that’s in your control…

Ex retail buyer here

@LimeSegment my advice is not to give your opinion on the actual product. It doesn't matter if you think it looks tacky or you personally wouldn't buy a Tshirt with your DC's name on it, there are probably thousands of other people that would. There are so many products that I have bought in my career that I personally wouldn't have in my house but have sold like hot cakes.

He needs to look at the market. What are other similar products selling at? Are his products different? Is it a volume strategy he's going after? If it is, that means he will have to be cheaper and be all over his costs, logistics and postage.
By the sounds of it, he doesn't have a business plan.

TBH the worrying thing is the time it has taken him to get to this point. The topline market activity should only take a few days. Costs / materials / logistics etc will take a bit longer

A lot of 'hobbyist' production small businesses fail, or they carry on because they are a hobby and it's not their main source of income.

Maybe let this play out, his initial naive enthusiasm will at some point hit reality.

There are some success stories - products I wish I had thought of e.g. Reggae Reggae sauce and Dorset cereals in food - both were very good products vs the market at that time.
In non-food - I love solar buddies, the suncream applicator, I think about it every time I use it. Again a genuinely brilliant innovative product.

I bet there’s a business in printing 3d tat for people who think they can make a fortune in 3d printed tat but can’t afford a printer.

Of course eventually he may stumble on a fantastic application for 3D printing and make a mint. It's the entrepreneurs that make it really big (well a few of them) not the people just working to make a living.

Thanks for your post *Pipsquiggle *and you make some good points. But I think it's hard to have big success with that sort of thing when you aren't your own customer or really interested in the area as a hobby. With the reggae reggae sauce for example, I assume the inventor was a sauce enthusiast. Not someone who'd never eaten sauce in their life and had no plans to.

I think that as long as he doesn't live with you and doesn't ask you for money, I'd leave him to crack on. The second he asks you for money, then get real with him.

I think I just stumbled on my next way to make money... An mlm selling 3d printers and guides on how to make money with 3d printers! I'll split it with you jay55

But it's not Dragons' Den!

Maybe I'm disappointed because I'm realising that I may have thought we'd eventually have a life together, but he obviously isn't thinking about that. Maybe he likes and prefers the fact that we won't live together.

Which is of course reasonable. Why would he want to, I suppose.

How on earth did he manage to receive a £7k payout if he chose to quit?

Re the job, it's more of a hobby than a full time living. My friend's husband did similar, and he made absolutely no money out of it.

Yes @LimeSegment

The 'hobby' products that have translated to significant commercial success were genuinely good to start with and were new as opposed to a 'me too' product. They tend to make their category / market bigger rather than cannibalising sales.

There are loads of companies that make 'tat' and do well at it, however, these businesses tend to be all over their costs and know when to pivot to a new product.

From what you have described I would say your BF is a hobbyist. He may need to learn the hard way.

"he hasn't asked for my advice or even listened to my suggestions, even though I'm a mum, and know a bit about business"

in his position, I don't think I would be doing any of those either. I would, however, see a professional business adviser. I would be uninterested in you being g a mother as you are one of 8 million mothers to children in this country (though I would be interested in a focus group or survey)

That's sort of what he said as well, and while I see what you mean, you still have to have common sense. Otherwise you have the politicians fallacy - we must do something - this is something - therefore we must do this.

Tell him he could try printing characters from video games - back rooms is really popular, Captain Clarke and the other entities would sell like hot cakes. Also more retro games like Team Fortress doesn't have much merch and its something I tried to get for my son one christmas and couldn't. Gaming is massive in teens and pre teens and it would definitely be something to look into. Bendy & the ink machine have a new movie coming out in the next year i think and again this could be something alot of kids want the characters for.

If you don't respect him, then set him free!

OP, do you have low self esteem? It comes through in your posts.

You are an intelligent, educated wiman with a masters and common sense, he is not good enough for you.

You can make quite good money from 3D printing if you make the right stuff. My SIL has a well paid job but does it as a sideline, making hundreds every week. He goes to hobby shows every week and sells online. Not prepared to tell you what he makes though!!

Would you not feel embarrassed to introduce him to friends?

The arrogance and stupidity of this man would put me right off I'm afraid.

It's one thing to want to to start your own business, but anyone with an ounce of common sense would start it as a part time spare time thing and build it from there.

The market needs testing, a proper business plan with costs need doing, research needs to take place.

If he has done none of this and also doesn't value your opinion, I'm afraid he's a bit of an over confident prat who will expect you to financially support him at some stage.

He had some leave saved, unpaid overtime and a few other allowances that got paid out. But 7k isn't much to live on.