Aibu to tell BF his business idea is terrible

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I've been with my boyfriend for two years, we don't live together, we are in our 40s. Three months ago he quit his job. He had been unhappy in the job for a while, so that was fair enough. He planned to get another job, but instead had the idea to start a business. The "business" that he settled on is 3D printing. I've mentioned a few times that surely this is more of a side hustle, not something that can replace a full time job, but he just told me that he's "sure it's going to work".

First he made dog models, some were OK, some were really tacky and never would have sold. I tried to tell him this politely but he said some people might disagree (they wouldn't have).

Then he abandoned that idea and came up with a new idea that he's been keeping a secret from me. Last night he finally showed me. It's 3D printed characters that kids can paint, and he plans to sell them for £10+, along with t shirts with kids names on them. There are so many issues with this. You can't sell licensed characters, and there's better, cheaper (official) stuff available at the supermarket. Also kids shouldn't wear shirts advertising their names!

Parents wouldn't buy this. I'm a mum so I would know. He doesn't have kids. I tried to say a few nice things, because I know he wants me to support him and he'll be disappointed if I don't. But I want to tell him it's a shit idea, and he's wasted months on.

Tbh I feel like I've lost respect for him. He cannot possibly be this lacking in intelligence to think this is a great idea. He hasn't done any market research, even on me and I'm a mum and right there. What am I supposed to say? Aibu?

Maybe you should suggest he pays the £30 & posts on MN’s Non-member requests board asking for opinions from parents.

My friend had an etsy shop printing Harry Potter maps, and he got caught on the copyright thing, Etsy shut down his store immediately and he didn't get the money he'd earned that month either.

I think it would give me the ick too much to stay with him....I'm so driven and ambitious that I couldn't be with someone who wasn't the same

I couldn't guarantee that given he's been living off his savings and not, it would appear, sponging off the OP

Do 👏 not 👏 let 👏 him 👏 move 👏 in

Even for a weekend or "just for x days"
Do not let that man get over the threshold with a bag. Dont do it

All copyright and the copyright holders and their agents are very litigious, he could of course licence the characters - oh shit he hasn't got any money.

To be honest, a little. I was thinking about whether I'd feel embarrassed introducing him at my work Christmas party, knowing the number one small talk question is "what do you do". The issue was avoided as I've just heard that partners aren't invited this year.

Maybe I'm a snob though? I have a good job but my career hasn't set the world on fire. I've worked at the same job for many years. Maybe he's embarrassed thinking of introducing me to his colleagues (if he had them) as a divorced mum of two.

Thanks, that's actually a good idea. Except if he searches for 3d printing on here he'd find this thread!

To be fair to him, he hasn't sponged money off me at all. We take turns paying when we eat or go out, and we don't go out anywhere expensive but that's what both of us prefer. We haven't been able to take holidays though, which is something I enjoy. I've taken my kids alone, but I'd have liked to go separately with him too.

If he is coming to the end of the money and he has made no income from his ideas, surely he must realise that he is wrong?

How can he stomach losing all that money? Please don't step in and start bankrolling him @LimeSegment

This isn't the first example I've seen on here of someone trying to make money out of something creative without the slightest idea of how hard it is to do it. There was an OP a year or two ago, trying to sell pictures made from old drinks cans who didn't understand why people weren't jumping at the chance to buy one.

He's going to have to find out the hard way that if something is easy to produce, chances are someone else has got there before you or it's not worth having anyway.

He’s kept it a secret from you as he knows you’ll think it’s a bad idea. I’d just say it’s not going to cover costs / especially when take into account the lost employment incone - so he can do what he wants but you won’t be supporting his financially.

One cannot make money by producing the equivalent of mass manufactured product on a case by case basis. People will pay to get exactly what they want when they want it but not for things that are not unique.

If he has the design skills there is good money that can be made from working with small business doing 3D printing rapid prototying work or making niche parts. I think the money really is in the design skills rather than the printing though.

I think people do make good money from just printing existing designs of fidget toys and dragons etc. It costs about 20p to print and people sell them for £3 at markets. I don't think it is a long term market through as more and more people are getting their own 3D printers and can just to do it home themselves.

OP, there is absolutely nothing wrong being a self suporting mum of two.
Are you mad.

Being an unemployed man in his 40's in his position, thinking he can pull a business out of his arse like that IS.

Feeling respectful of your partners intelligence is very important.
It's not necessarily that you are both at masters or phd level, but that you both respect each others intelligence.

Being placed into the parent in the relationship is a killer.

Thankfully you sound wise enough not to allow him anywhere near your home.

There was a thread recently where a woman like you found her partner left his job and basically ended up being part funded by her, in her home while he arsed around with being self employed.
She was relieved and lucky to get him out after 18 months.

If he cannot be told, let him off.
But in your position I would be advising you detach and plan a soft exit.

Carrying a man financially is not a good plan.
He is in his 40's and you do not want to be his long term retirement plan.

Yeh that would give me the ick too.

However from bitter experience I would say, assuming you want to continue the relationship, that if you tell him its a shit idea and he does it anyway and it fails he will just remember you didn't support him and somehow that lack of support will materialise in his head as the reason it failed.

So if you do want to be with him. I suggest vague thats nice dear I look forward to hearing about all your sales type responses.

If its not your money hes wasting let him get on with it but for the love of god don't give him any more or let him move in!

I wouldn't even worry about it for now, he's half way through his pipe dream, if it doesn't go anywhere he'll give up. Some people just haven't got what it takes to drive a business idea forward, it's not a bad thing but he needs to learn the hard way that it is not going to work for him, you can't blame him for wanting to try.

I do think your whole 'energy' around it sounds very negative though, you aren;t married, and he doesn't live with you, so it doesn't affect you in any way for him to take a few months out surely? You could have been encouraging him and brainstorming with him instead of just poo-pooing the very limited ideas he was having.. the dismissive way you talk about him sounds more like you're talking about your teenage son rather than your adult boyfriend.

There is someone locally who makes money selling 3d printed signage for shops. There are definitely profitable niches out there.

Don’t tolerate something you, quite reasonably, don’t actually want or have to tolerate because you fear being seen as a snob. If someone thinks you’re a snob, so fucking what? You don’t get virtue points for making yourself miserable on pursuit of looking ‘morally’ good to onlookers.

He’s an idiot with zero business or financial sense, with apparently an unwillingness to develop either. He’ll double down on terrible ideas rather than admit that he could possibly have terrible ideas.

Each toy sold has to have a UKCA mark on it or on the packaging. He will need to apply and have each toy tested. If he thinks he can get away with it, if a child chokes or is harmed on one of his ‘toys’ he will be in some serious trouble (so will the poor child!)

As someone who began a couple of side hustles (postgrad tutoring and selling vintage) I waited until I had retired so had a basic source of income. That way it would not have mattered if my business ideas fell through.

I believe OP is correct about the kinds of things her BF wants to sell. You really need to have a niche product and one which cannot easily be copied. to make it selling on online platforms

I also believe OP is correct about encouraging BF to draw up a business plan. Here is where AI can help him. They are wonderful at brainstorming and making basic plans and drafts. I use copilot and gemini extensively in my work.

if you tell him its a shit idea and he does it anyway and it fails he will just remember you didn't support him and somehow that lack of support will materialise in his head as the reason it failed.

Actually yes, this is also a concern. Even though I'd know it wasn't true.

Argh people like him drive me mad! How much did he get paid in his previous job? Let's say £30,000. He needs to factor in NI, pension contributions from his employer, sick leave, holiday entitlement etc.

How much would he sell those things for? £10?

How much would they cost to make in terms of materials and power etc?

How long would each one take to make?

Is he experienced in selling and advertising and marketing?

How many would he have to make in order to earn that same salary? This is the crucial question. Of course he can try to sell trademarked products, but he only has to Google or ask ChatGPT to see what the consequences of that might be.

He thinks he'll earn more and have an easier life if he has his own business. That shows a level of naivety which shows he won't succeed if he works for himself.

Oh dear

I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea. People (of all ages) like painting models. His main problem, as you've identified, is that he will soon start collecting Cease and desist letters if he tries selling licensed characters. I've done a lot of work with kids' brands over the years (Paddington, Disney, Paw Patrol etc) and they are HOT on protecting their brands even from the tiniest business. But you might just need to let him find that out by himself. As long as you aren't dipping into your bank account to subsidise him, I'd let him crack on.

I think the energy and effort that people are willing to put into making businesses work is far more important than ideas.

I've known people with poor ideas try again and again to make things happen and eventually if they try hard enough they hit on something. So I would be less concerned about whether the idea is any good and more concerned whether running a business was something he was well invested in and putting in a huge amount of effort to make successful.

It's kind of rock and hard place for you, because you aren't really in a position to tell him what to do with his life, anymore than he is in a position to tell you what to do with yours.

I wouldn't want to be the one telling him his dreams can't happen. What I would be making clear is that the amount of effort you can put into helping him is zero. You have your own life, kids and costs to consider.

If he is currently funding his own lifestyle one of two things will happen, either he will work hard enough to establish a productive business or he will fail and need to get another job. But if it were me I would be clear that the financial help available from me would not be there because of my other commitments.

To be fair to him it doesn't sound like at the moment he is leaning on you for financial support.