To end a relationship over weekend cocaine use?

[400N]

Posting for traffic here

I can’t decide if I have massively overreacted or if my gut instinct was right to end it over this
For context I have ADHD and find decision making really difficult - often changing my mind multiple times before making a final decision
I’ve been divorced 5 years and with DS now off to uni I began dating and all were terrible until this latest one
He is 55 so 10 years older than me, has his own flat ( rented as couldn’t afford a mortgage after his divorce ) and seems to be a great dad to his 2 kids although they are adults
We met the first evening for dinner and he was charming, paid for the meal and was lovely - he did seem quite loud and chatty but mentioned his kids both have ADHD so I thought maybe this was why
The second date was longer as we went for drinks after a meal and he suddenly starts sprinkling cocaine into a roll up cigarette as if this was completely normal behaviour
I made my excuses and left early although continued to talk and message before he asked why I was avoided meeting him again and I told him - he said it only happens when he drinks which I believed then as didn’t see any signs on date 1 and if he wanted to hide it altogether I thought he would have sniffed it rather than smoked it in front of me?
Anyway date 3 rolled around and we went to a film, all nice but he wanted to go for drinks after and I didn’t want the topic to come up so left early
Date 4 he booked a hotel - he started smoking it again after a few drinks at the bar and I found the sex really weird
It lasted a very very long time and all felt quite detached on his part
Weirdly straight after was very loving and close and he had bought me a beautiful necklace for my upcoming birthday which he gave to me early
He holds down a high powered job and works very long hours and says this is just his way of unwinding - for me cocaine is to get high and have a buzz?
Ive never taken drugs and don’t know if I’m considering ending a really good thing over a weekend habit or whether this is what addiction actually looks like and I’m being an idiot
Any help very gratefully received xx

Well the outside garden area of the bar yes

Op there are warning signs all over your posts that you aren't in a good place to pick a sensible man

Can I suggest a break from men and some decent counselling before you try dating again?

I was referring to the comment about people use drugs having mental problems.

As there should be.

This is a man who presumably would not have his own DC anywhere near the criminal elements who trade this stuff- but he’s fine with the exploitation and abuse of other people’s children.
But it’s fine because he’s a professional in a stressful job? No it’s not. He’s a scum bag drug user.

Mental problems isn't great terminology agreed. But I don't know anyone well adjusted who is using drugs in middle age.

In my younger days I had partners who would use coke but never with me. Maybe smoke some weed.

It's not my thing.

This would be my clear boundary, not something I would want in my life, especially in 50s.

I would not be seeing this man again.

Fair.

Exactly this. Anyone who supports this is utter scum and I wouldn’t want anything to do with them. Get rid!

Acknowledging that there is judgement on this thread is not the same as saying his behaviour is ok.

Coke doesn't tend to smoke particularly well (hence why it's washed up into crack cocaine), could even be be speed or meth...

But that wouldn’t look like a white powder from my googling?

I think it’s crack (crack cocaine) not cocaine as in sniffy powder.

You can’t smoke powdered cocaine. Or rather you could but it would burn instantly and not have any effect. He’s not smoking cocaine.

Take it from me!

So clearly you do coke. Fair play..."yeh man its completely acceptable in our circle Annebella has only had daddy pay for rehab once and Tarquin had to give the dealer his porshe. But its fun"

But it was white powder - very fine like salt and I watched him sprinkle it into the cigarette?

He definitely changed after a few cigarettes of it

They absolutely can be or off white or yellowish. Nothing to stop him grinding crack into powder either OP.

Are you kidding? I don't actually. So park your judgement elsewhere. Thanks.

That's ground up crack... get as far away from him as possible.

it was likely ketamine not cocaine

I have never heard of this
Gosh I’m bloody naive

I have already cancelled this evenings date and said said I needed time to think - he is now messaging he won’t do it around me anymore

Not that he will stop doing it - although even if he said that, if it’s an addict he won’t will he

Judgement isnt a bad thing per se. Some behaviours absolutely should be judged

You do realise coke is mostly a working class drug these days don’t you. What a weird post

I mean, I wonder why he's divorced....

If he’s smoking it it’s more likely to be crack. Get away, stay away.