Have you had random crushes

[RaspberryCoffeePot]

I used to hang out with a group of people , all close and fond of each other, knew each other for years, and every now and then I'd get a crush on one of the men. I might have known him 3 years and liked him as a friend, then looked at him one day and....boom!! It happened two or three times. It was totally random. I never ever understood it. I didnt want any of them as bf , and tended to go outside the group for my relationships. . Not really a reasonable/ unreasonable question so.much as a curious amd slightly baffled one. I just never understood the utter randomness of it. Anyone else ever experienc this . How can you suddenly really fancy someone from 3 years of nothing?

Not since I was a teenager. I wonder if you get a little crush when someone fills an emotional need for you, making them look more interesting?

All the time. One has lingered and its become an issue for me as definitely highlighted sone stuff. But honestly I hope I keep getting them. Its how I know I'm still alive down there!

I dont know..All I know is I could be around someone for years and feel nothing other than good friendship. and then one day I'd look at them and suddenly really fancy them as if from nowhere, and not have the vaguest idea what triggered it. I used to think it was strange because as far as I could tell most people who fancy someone have a fairly clear idea from early on that they find that person attractive. I used to wonder if I had strange brain chemistry or something.

Regularly!

I used to wonder if there was something unusual about me. I've since figured out that I don't really experience attraction on sight much, I don't tend to feel attraction unless I feel emotionally connected to a person. Which is why I wondered if the person making some sort of emotional connection with you that they hadn't made before might be the trigger.

Agh I'm going through this at the mo. A crush on a guy at work who I talk to (remotely) regularly, like others have said it's highlighted some emotional stuff for me that I probably need to work through.

I find it quite useful to revert to the advice that a crush is just a lack of information! I know if I was married to this guy I'd probably find him intensely annoying in all sorts of ways 😁

I developed a crush on someone at work once. We'd worked together for a number of years too but we had to sit opposite each other as we were working on a specific project for a few months. He would wink at me over the top of the computer monitor! 😂 I quite liked it! 😉

I wish that was in a 'dating dictionary' 😂

CRUSH definition: Lack of information

I haven't heard that before! 😂

Yeah. Currently I have a crush on Sean Bean. Not sexy fighting Sean from Sharpe, but old soft grandad Sean. I had a weird dream about him and boom it's all I can think about.

I think I have a complex 😆

But what triggers it in you. How can you go from liking to fancying just out of the blue ? Do they do anything you are aware of that suddenly makes you feel different ? For me it was completely random. I'll never forget one time. I was in a pub with some of the group and a boyfriend I was going out with at the time. I was chatting to one of the male members of the group I'd chatted to a hundred times before, and suddenly from nowhere me and this guy are staring at each other and smiling as if we're transfixed, and I'm feeling things I've not felt for him before. It was odd. Neither of us ever acted on it and I dont think anyone else noticed because they were all too busy chatting themselves. It was a strange experience. And I know it was mutual because he cryptically referred to that incident a few weeks later . And I carried on feeling that way for ages.

Yeah, I guess I wasn't noticing what was being said so much as just the feeling of suddenly falling for them. Maybe that was what was going on.

I know that feeling, @RaspberryCoffeePot - it's a bit like meeting someone for the first time, but you feel like you've known each other before. Sort of like you're the only two talking a particular language.

@SaraHoliday honestly I need to biro it on to my palm so I can refer to it 200 times a day 😁 I don't know, maybe it's partially peri-menopause-related?!

I get weird crushes on tv characters. I rarely fancy anyone in real life

It sounds cosy. Like you had got into a bubble together in the moment? Maybe it's the closeness that did it?

Oh yes, I have lots of book boyfriends. I like them because they're not real, devoted and caring in nature, and demand nothing of me since they don't exist.

Hmm I’d say that is unusual yes. I get crushes occasionally, but they’re on people I see around and barely know. People on the peripheries of my life. Then when/if I get to know them better, the crush either disappears or deepens. I don’t think I’ve ever started fancying a friend or someone I hang out with regularly, after first only feeling platonically about them. Once someone’s in my friendzone there’s no getting out!!

Yes. I had one recently. I go to a mixed group and I'm friends with a man there. Purely platonic and there's never been any flirting or anything. I've met his wife and children several times - all lovely people.

Out of the blue, I had a very erotic dream about myself and the man. Then I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was in my head all the time. Obviously I didn't say anything in real life and just acted normal when I was speaking to him.

Then it just went away and I was left thinking what the hell was all that about? It's back to normal now and I just chat to him like I normally do without trying to keep a lid on built up lust!

I've no idea why that happened or why I was so obsessed with him.

That is an interestong idea. Hadnt considered that before.

Everybody is annoying once you get to know them😂

That sounds quite satisfying.

I know. It's quite good, isnt it. It's true🤣

Bean Complex. That sounds like some strange breakfast cereal 😂

This happened to me with my first husband. We had been friends for a few years. Always had a laugh together and were good mates but never looked at him that way. I knew he was good looking but never fancied him. Then just suddenly, one day, I saw him in a different light and thought 'bloody hell he is gorgeous'. I still don't know what triggered the change in the way I looked at him or thought about him. Its weird isn't it?

It was nice, yes. 😀

Maybe becausectv characters have to have quite a lot of substance to them in order to fit into the plot. They have to earn their place in the story, whereas in real life you can know someone day in day out without much actually going on and so they dont appear at all interesting.