DD is 16 and just started college. She has ASD and a very patchy educational backstory - she missed secondary from the start of year 8 until the start of year 11 as she couldn’t cope with mainstream, the meltdowns at school and at home were unreal. It took those years and 2 applications to get an EHCP in place, and she returned to school for year 11 in a small 1-2-1 setting and sat a few GCSEs and passed a couple (not maths though unfortunately).
Because of her GCSE grades she couldn’t do the college course she’d planned on doing, so she’s having to do a level 2 course and her maths resit. She’s been surprisingly good at going (missed a few days) and seemed to be coping pretty well, she’s just had her first assignment back and she got 100% in it, and she’s done her first maths resit exam today.
The trouble is finds the course boring, she doesn’t lack intelligence and it was just because of the time she missed in school that she didn’t get better grades. I point out to her a lot that this is just something she’s going to have to suck up for a year, get that under her belt and her maths, and she’ll have more options next year.
While she was out of school, in year 10 she did a post 14 level 1 course at a college in hairdressing. She managed to finish the course but she didn’t particularly enjoy it and was very clear afterwards that she didn’t want to be a hairdresser.
Fast forward to now and she’s decided that she’s bored of college already, and wants to do an apprenticeship. She has a trial shift on Friday at a hairdressers. It doesn’t matter how many times I remind her that she doesn’t want to be a hairdresser and if she leaves college now with just 2 GCSEs, she’s going to find it hard to change her mind in the future if she decides that actually she doesn’t want to do hairdressing.
Also, I know her. She is VERY demand avoidant, it’s virtually impossible to get her to do anything she’s asked, she finds being around people a lot draining, and she has a pretty stroppy attitude in general. She’s never had a part time job and so has no idea what working is like. She finds it hard to stick to things and she doesn’t have any desire to be a hairdresser, this is just a way to get out of going to college. I’ve also explained that she’s going to have to get herself there (30 miles away), no matter what the weather, all year round with no school holidays to break it up, and she’ll have to tow the line and do what she’s asked without complaining or they’ll just sack her.
There’s also the financial aspect of me being a single parent, if she leaves education then I no longer get UC for her, and by the time I’ve paid the bills and mortgage I will be stony broke on what I earn. So I won’t have spare cash to help her to learn to drive and get a car, I won’t be able to spend the sort of amount she’s used to for Christmas and birthdays, or pay to take her on holiday. She’ll be effectively an adult responsible for her own finances and paying for the things she wants and needs. And she 💯 doesn’t have the maturity to do that.
I think the most likely scenario is it will go tits up real quick, either they’ll get sick of her or vice versa, and then it will be the worst of both worlds as she’ll be out of college and have no job and two GCSEs.
I’ve explained all this to her and it’s falling on deaf ears; she wants to leave college now and this is the way to do it, she can’t see any further than that. And I’m the bad guy for trying to stop her.
AIBU for trying to convince her not to do this?