To think giving someone a birthday card with money in it is a cop out?

[HonestTealPoster]

I appreciate that money is useful and that some people genuinely prefer receiving it, but I’ve always found giving someone a birthday card with cash inside rather impersonal. To me, part of the point of giving a gift is putting some thought into what the person might actually like or enjoy. Giving money just feels like the easiest option, requiring very little thought or effort. Obviously, it’s different if someone has specifically asked for money but otherwise I think it takes something away from the sentiment of gift-giving.

AIBU?

Cash is great for children/teens.

I’d be completely baffled if another adult gave me cash in a card though. I’d honestly assume they had mixed the cards up or something. It would cross so many social norms for me and my friends that it would have to be an error.

I loved it when I was a kid.
Far better than receiving unsuitable gifts that I didn't want.

He doesn't have any other interests. We (his parents) couldn't think of anything to buy him and he didn't have any suggestions either. So I'm not sure why you think you could have done better.

I prefer money in a card. I'd give it to others too. I don't see it as a cop out and if they do then that's their problem.

I like book vouchers and gift cards too, and would recommend them for anyone asking what to buy for me. I prefer making my own choices as opposed to someone else's guess.

Gift cards are fine too. Someone earlier in the thread complained that it means that they have to go traipsing round the shops. I'd say that's not true unless that's what you want to do. You can use most of them online too

90% of the “well thought out gifts” I’ve received are recycle worthy!

I always resort to cash once the children get to about 8 as they can then get what they would like.

With adults I always do cards and they only get a present if I have seen something I know they would like. My freindsare all the same. We don’t give generic gifts of wine/chocolates although I might buy flowers if I’m seeing them.

💯👏🏻

I like cash, especially for DC friends birthdays. It might be impersonal but it’s better than them getting multiples of the same thing and it leaves the choice up to them.

I also like getting cash, it’s far better than a thoughtful gift that doesn’t quite meet what I’d like. 9/10 it stays in my wallet and get frittered on coffee or random things that do make me happy which is the point of a gift.

My kids and nieces/nephews don’t even get cash that often just transfer into their debit card accounts! Gift cards are a pain when they change their mind or want to save for something specific. I hate getting them because I’m tied to that specific thing. The exception to this is if it’s an experience or to the theatre where I can choose!

it’s a welcomed cop out 🤣

Money is great for kids and teens but I agree in general for adults. I have my own money, I’d rather be given a gift that someone had put thought into otherwise what’s the point.

Because the fact you have put thought into something does not mean the recipient will like it.

I will happily tell you that I like reading, cross stitch, drinking tea and going to the gym.
But i really don't want you to buy me a book (I have no space to put them, and you're unlikely to pick a book that I want and haven't already read without checking); a cross stitch kit (i already have a huge pile); a mug (I have my 3 favourites I use on repeat, yours will gather dust) or any fitness equipment (I won't use it).
I'd actually rather you bought me nothing, but if you insist on doing so please just get me some chocolates or put money in a card. Yes, the non-personal things are the ones I'd appreciate most. None of the "personal thoughtful" gifts will be appreciated.

And surely the point of getting someone a gift is that they will appreciate it? Why would you get someone something they might not like (unless you were prepared to take it back and change it and would not take offense at this)?

I feel so guilty when someone buys me a gift that I invariably don’t like. I’d much prefer cash. And so would my children.

I absolutely love getting vouchers for coffee shops, I always use them to treat a friend and myself to coffee and cake.

Sending a pressie direct from amazon isn't exactly personal either

Cash inside a card is fine. When our grandchildren outgrew toys, they always appreciated money. We usually give it in the form of a voucher.

But you’re still missing my point. Thoughtful gift-giving isn’t simply identifying someone’s hobbies and buying the first vaguely related item you come across. It’s about knowing the person, including their preferences and what they wouldn’t appreciate.

If I knew you didn’t want books, mugs or cross-stitch kits, why would I buy you any of those things? And if I knew you’d genuinely prefer chocolates or money, I’d take that into account.

I’ve already acknowledged that giving money when someone specifically wants it is different. My point is about giving money as a default without putting any thought into the recipient. I’m not suggesting people should buy unwanted gifts simply for the satisfaction of having chosen something.

My kids love cash in a card and so do I.

I'm always very happy to get money in a card - vouchers are also good, but cash is better. It takes me back to childhood birthdays in the 60s when my grandma would always send me a card with a ten-shilling note in it (a whole 50p!), a huge amount of money to me at the time.

Depends on age. Teens prefer cash.

I’m torn on this. My kids love opening presents but they also love money in cards. I think if I knew someone was ONLY getting cash from everyone else, I would make the effort to get them something to unwrap. But putting money in a card is a godsend when they are tricky to buy for or you just feel what you give wouldn’t be appreciated.

My in-laws are notoriously difficult to buy for, we’ve been so creative over the years finding presents that match their interests but once they started just giving us cash in cards we decided to match their efforts! Life’s too short to search for the perfect gift when you know you’re just going to get cash in a card in return.

Nowadays, for adults we tend to put money in a card and supplement it with some nice chocolates or cake. Our kids have never had money off us in cards, (20 yo and 13 yo) but I’m sure once they move out it’ll change to a mix of money and small gifts.

No, you're missing the point. I like cross stich, but there are lots of pictures and colour schemes I wouldn't want.

I like mugs and I like running. A running mug would be a good gift for me but only if it's a specific size, weight and shape.

So you could reasonably think you've got me a good gift if you went for either a mug or a cross stich and still be well off the mark.

I try hard to keep the house clutter free, so carefully chosen or not I don’t want tat about the place that I’ve not bought myself!
Little kids like ripping wrapping paper, teens like cash, and adults should buy their own stuff. Get me chocolates or flowers if you must.

I'd rather give money than have it wasted on something that someone doesn't want or can't use. And I would much rather receive cash than something that isn't to my tastes, doesn't fit, or will otherwise be either useless or simply a nuisance.

Most of the people I shop for these days don't know what they want themselves. How on Earth am I supposed to know them better than they know themselves?

The best phase of my kids early life was the stage where every parent put a fiver in a card at parties.