To find people who hold back good news for themselves really annoying ?

[Beachbooks]

I don’t know if anyone agrees with me, but I find people who keep their good news to themselves for a while before sharing it with friends & family really annoying !!

As an example, one of my friends got engaged and then made a big thing of telling everyone that they’d not told anyone for a week so as not to spoil their bubble. I obviously wasn’t expecting to be top of the list but felt sad for her family who she kept in the dark and then found it quite strange that they made a big point of telling everyone that they’d hadn’t told anyone !!

And my SIL is pregnant and will tell us all the date & time of her scans but then wait for a day or two before telling anyone how it went which then makes everyone worry that something is wrong !!

I know people say they want to prolong their bubble of happiness but I just don’t get how telling people and allowing loved ones to be part of your good news somehow takes the special feeling away ?!?!

My nephew and his DW had a baby last year. I rang SIL and asked how DIL was doing and she said “she’s fine, getting fed up now etc”. About a week later we discovered baby had been born for 3 days at that point, but they’d been told not to tell anyone. 🙄

It’s not like we were going to land on them, we live at the other end of the country. I think they think they’re Kardashians or something, terrified of the hoards of paps that will be camping outside their house if news got out.

Yes. Who gives a shit whether you’re having a girl or a boy? No-one cares.

I think a lot of posters are missing the point. This isn’t about whether people share their news with you, it’s when news is shared then followed by ‘we’ve known for a week but only told Bob and Mary’. Who cares? Just share your news and receive your congrats!

My DSIS did this to me just a few days ago - she got a tattoo, sent me a pic of it and then proceeded to gloat about how she’d kept it a secret and only told 2 people that she was getting it - as if it was some massive top secret event. No one cares lol.

What do you gain by telling them?

I knew the sex of both of mine, but didn't tell anyone. I didn't go around preemptively saying I knew but wasn't telling anyone, but if they asked I would just say I know but we've decided to keep it to ourselves. As is our right. Both grandmothers said they wanted to be surprised (I don't know if this was a superstitious thing) and if we'd told other people it would absolutely have got back to the grannys.

I think it’s very very odd to tell a bare-faced lie about the situation like that. Did your SIL apologise?

I know what you mean about behaving almost like celebrities. Keeping something like the birth of a child a secret and then revealing that you’d kept it a secret is very Main Character Syndrome.

It doesn’t bother me, except if someone lied to my face about it, which is why your post jumped out at me.

I think it's good to keep news to yourself for while. That way, you can work out how you really feel about it without other people's feelings swaying you in either direction.

However there's no point in almost bragging that you've had a secret.. I mean, who cares really? And the thing about keeping the results of scans private etc is unfair. If you're not going to tell people who might be worried about you, don't bother telling them you're going in the first place.

You have to think about why it bothers you though. There's a chance you might have thought you'd be close enough to them for them to tell you - and yes, it does sometimes hurt to find out at the same time as "the masses" from someone who you've previously trusted with some of your biggest secrets. But hey ho. That's the story of my life!

I agree, very strange
and would suggest a gigantic back story

It was just signing a form for us. I didn’t need people emoting.

One of my friends went to great lengths to keep her pregnancies a secret until the babies arrived, then did a big ta-daaaah like we’d all be enthralled. It’s just made me less interested in her and her children.