Am I rude?

[air3296]

I had a slightly awkward experience at the supermarket today and would genuinely like to hear what people in the UK think.
It was around lunchtime on a Saturday, and the supermarket was really busy, with quite a long queue for the self-checkouts.
The person in front of me had a fairly large shop. As they scanned their items, they took their time packing everything into bags, repeatedly hesitating and changing their mind about which items should go where.
I didn’t really mind that, as everyone has their own pace.
However, after scanning all their items, they still didn’t pay. Instead, they continued taking their time rearranging everything in their bags, while occupying the checkout and holding up the queue.
At that point, I said: “Could you please pay first? We’re in a rush.”
I wasn’t asking them to stop packing altogether. I just thought they could pay first and then move aside to finish packing, so the next person could use the checkout.
Now I’m wondering whether what I said was considered rude or impolite by British standards.
What’s the general etiquette at self-checkouts in the UK, especially when the supermarket is really busy? Was I being unreasonable, or was my request perfectly fair?
I’d genuinely appreciate honest opinions, even if you think I was in the wrong.

Honestly - I think it would be great if we could all just chill a bit so others do not feel hassled. We all rush around too much.

I hate it when people faff around in the supermarket

See, I think it's rude to live like a complete Dolly daydream and not consider the queue of people behind you. I don't mean going at an Aldi cashier pace, but some awareness of other people is just courteous, surely?

Yeah, mildly rude. I would've ignored you and wouldn't have thought anything of it. Would've assumed you were just a bit of a stress head. The issue is with the supermarket, it's their job to manage the queues.

No you were not rude ! They were rude . Thinking their time was more important than everyone else’s, oblivious to queues . Selfish , entitled behaviour !

You were only as rude as was necessary.

They were annoying. You were discourteous. You maybe stopped just the right side of full on rude.

Good God, using a self check out machine and not going at the speed of light is selfish and entitled behaviour?

fucking nuts 🤣🤣

You weren’t terribly rude, but I’d not have said anything.

The person in front could have been me. A year ago my young adult died entirely unexpectedly. I stopped going out. Shopping in particular I struggle with. But I’ve been trying to be a bit more functional for the sake of my husband and other children. I look a bit thin and pale but I dress fairly well and don’t look totally out of it. You wouldn’t really know what was up with me by looking. But I’m much slower at doing everyday things now. Had you said that to me I’d have burst into tears and likely run off.

The point of my post is, for all you might think there wasn’t anything up with the person in front, you really don’t know. You weren’t very rude. Which was your question. But I do think you were a bit thoughtless and possibly unkind.

to a point

after that point

Main Character Syndrome

some people just like to empty all their coins into the FAFO slot machine in one go, without thinking

then get hurt when the slot machine makes funny and unexpected noises

You were rude. There would be multiple checkouts I guess but you commented to one customer. I’m sure they were not being slow on purpose. Your day is not their issue. If you were in a rush that’s on you. I would have probably slowed down as well. I just wait my turn when queuing. However petrol stations drive me crazy with the slowness but I don’t comment to the driver in front either.

Totally agree. It’s why there’s so many road rage incidents and car accidents. So many people are constantly riled up and lack patience, it’s concerning.

How is that relevant?

Let’s face it, most people would do that just to piss you off more, after you had a pop at them. Just wait your turn, we’re all busy.

Yeah well as you can see it made the situation worse and the person didn't do as you say, they did the opposite. Plus they clearly found you rude.

I've never heard anyone say that before and I can't say I would. It's kind of impolite to make it plain you're watching their transactions so closely. Their shopping and payment is kind of their business and not yours.

Waitrose is the slow country lane, full of grannies out for a natter and OCD foodies packing by colour . Aldi is the German autobahn. Gimlet eyed, ruthless efficiency.

You are not rude. You are shopping in the wrong supermarket for your personality type.

Think about it?

They witnessed the entire exchange. So relevant to know what they think.

My guess is- they were mortified so Op has resorted to Mumsnet

They were inconsiderate and irritating and if I'd been with you I certainly would have quietly grumbled about it with you and possibly flagged down a member of staff to see if there was any chance of any other tills being opened.

But I'd have been absolutely mortified if you'd addressed them like that.

To me the difference is thoughtlessness (them - assuming no actual impairments) vs active lack of understanding of good manners (you).

Neither are great but the latter is worse.

Gimlet eyed, ruthless efficiency.

lol

I expect the checkout staff had heard finer compliments

I've never seen a supermarket that didn't have one queue for multiple machines. So one slow person doesn't hold up everyone.

No, you weren’t rude at all.

You asked a direct question and explained why you were asking it. That’s very clear communication and definitely not rude. The recipient still has the option over how to proceed.

People who hint and waffle without getting to the point are the annoying rude ones in my book.

Yes, you were rude.

Just out if curiosity they old ? I have had this twice from a old lady and a elderly couple .o alway pack white they scan but I’m a fast packer and would never make anyone wait more than one minute for hole I pull my phone to pay .
they where the rude ones

You're not being rude at all.

Some people just think they are the only ones on the planet and it simply never occurs to them to do something that might benefit someone else because it doesn't have some huge obvious immediate benefit to them to think of another human for once in their lives.

Like middle lane drivers.

What you should have done is tut, sigh, look pointedly at your watch and mutter ‘take your time!’ under your breath. That’s the British way.