Work Group Chat

[madderthanapissedonchicken]

Re-posting again for traffic.

My partner (male) is in a work chat with 4 other men from work.

He told me that one of the men (A) is splitting up with his girlfriend as he cheated on her with another woman from work. Whilst he was sleeping with this woman he filmed it without her knowledge. He was watching the video at home, his girlfriend caught him, and is now leaving him.

My partner told me that before this happened, A wrote in the group chat that he had something to show them all & shared the video (on view once).

I am hoping that A’s girlfriend reports this to her partners work, so the woman can be made aware & report this vile man to the police.

My partner seemed shocked, said the guy was sick but was also sort of laughing calling him disgusting. I told him if this all comes out at work they’ll all be at risk of losing their jobs (possibly?!) for seeing this video. And the fact that none of them have left the chat / reported to work / stopped
talking to this man is crazy to me. I cant understand why you’d still want to be talking to him! He says they’ve deleted all the messages.

It’s making me look at my partner different. How can we view this totaling differently? If this was me, I’d report what I’d seen to work, and never talk to the pervert again.

I think your husband needs to report it on Monday morning. Depending on who set up the group chat not doing so is possibly going to get him sacked. Because it will come out sooner or later

The guy who did this really needs reporting to the police too. He's despicable.

report it to the police.

Why is the responsibility of A's ex to report, why does your partner not think it's his? If they are all using WA on their work phones, its all traceable and I hope they all do get disciplined and reported to the police, vile pigs.

Fucking men. He needs to report that before that pig of a man shares that video far and wide or on some porn site or Reddit or wherever.
the Cornell 7 aren’t 7 they are the 50 odd other men in the group chat who saw and did nothing.

Thanks all for replying.

I don’t think it’s A’s ex’s responsibility to report, but I’m hoping she does report it anyway. I can’t see any of the 4 men reporting it, and I think it’s because they won’t want to “snitch”.

it isn’t work phones, it’s personal phones. Since the messages have been deleted, could they still be found by police?

none of this sits right with me. I’m shocked that he is still in the group and hasn’t taken it further. It disgusts me

You’re right it’s vile. I did cross my mind whether he would share it further. He clearly had no issue sharing on the work chat! It makes me feel sick

This is why women don't accept 'not all men are like that', in this scenario all the men are 'like that'. I hope they all get what they deserve. I can see why you feel differently about him now.

Your confusion is valid. The entire group is complicit in this cover-up - their silence acts as approval.

I'd be questioning why he felt safe sending that to your husband. Your husband laughing when telling you about it just confirms what I'd think. Disgusting misogynist with no respect for women.

I think you should report to the police.
sharing of sexual images without consent is a criminal offence in UK
This man will likely share on other platforms and continue to film women without consent.

You could report it @madderthanapissedonchicken
im not sure why you’ve done two posts about this though and not made either of them clear about the topic.

Please report to the police. It’s disgusting.

I posted on the 30 day chat first. But wasn’t getting on response. And was wanting to discuss before I saw him this morning.

www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/online-safety/online-safety/non-consensual-intimate-image-abuse-revenge-porn/non-consensual-intimate-image-abuse-revenge-porn-reporting-it-to-the-police/

Yes I could but I only have a first name of the person who posted it, no other names. It’s a huge workplace with thousands of staff. I don’t know how helpful it would be coming from me.
id rather, after a conversation today, that my partner decides to report it.
or A’s ex girlfriend reports it
this is all new and I’m trying to discuss it (not in real life) to make sense of it. I’m shocked

My husband was sent a video of a male colleague (sober) dancing inappropriately and grabbing a very drunk woman (another colleague) in a club. So not as intimate as this but still not right, he reported it to his employer and told the woman who was the subject of the video so she could see it and take action if she chose to. The man who did it and the man who filmed and shared it, both lost their jobs. I nor DH knows if police became involved, it looked like sexual assault to me, DH was interviewed by his employer as a witness to an investigation but never by the police, he felt that was the victim's decision to make.

What your husband and his friends are doing or not doing in the case of the bystanders is disgusting, in the case of the perpetrator illegal and would make me seriously question the man I'd married if I were you OP.

The man is vile and needs reporting to the police asap, the fact the other men have viewed this and done nothing about it makes them equally as vile. Deleting things will make no difference, everything is tracked somewhere. I’d be reporting it myself if no one else does, they all deserve to lose their jobs and be arrested.

Thank you

YANBU and I don’t think I could view my partner in the same way if he was OK with this. How did you find out? Did he tell you about it in conversation?

If he doesn’t report this he is going to lose his job. It’s as simple as that.

It doesn't matter if its personal phones, this is a workplace matter as it involves colleagues.

Your DH could find himself in a spot of bother if it comes out. Hed have to be far more remorseful than hes showing now to have a chance at getting away with his part in this.

Fucking men. Not all. But always. Im actually starting to hate the majority of them.

How your husband handled that is how I would expect any decent person to.
Anything else is just wrong, and I’m struggling to understand how he can tell me and be shocked about it and say how wrong it is, but not actually do anything about it

I agree with everyone saying it’s illegal and reported wherever possible. That poor woman.

and are you safe with your partner if he finds this sort of thing funny?

Yes he told me last night. I think it happened during the week. He said it was really bad but the fact he knows that and hasn’t done anything about it, is just throwing me

When did it happen? If it was only yesterday he might still be processing what to do next, DH left that group chat and now won't enter any others with work colleagues, that one started with a few who were actually friends then people got added, new starters, friends of friends etc. DH got quite a backlash from some of them for reporting it so he needs to brace himself if he's going to do the right thing.