Work Group Chat

[madderthanapissedonchicken]

Re-posting again for traffic.

My partner (male) is in a work chat with 4 other men from work.

He told me that one of the men (A) is splitting up with his girlfriend as he cheated on her with another woman from work. Whilst he was sleeping with this woman he filmed it without her knowledge. He was watching the video at home, his girlfriend caught him, and is now leaving him.

My partner told me that before this happened, A wrote in the group chat that he had something to show them all & shared the video (on view once).

I am hoping that A’s girlfriend reports this to her partners work, so the woman can be made aware & report this vile man to the police.

My partner seemed shocked, said the guy was sick but was also sort of laughing calling him disgusting. I told him if this all comes out at work they’ll all be at risk of losing their jobs (possibly?!) for seeing this video. And the fact that none of them have left the chat / reported to work / stopped
talking to this man is crazy to me. I cant understand why you’d still want to be talking to him! He says they’ve deleted all the messages.

It’s making me look at my partner different. How can we view this totaling differently? If this was me, I’d report what I’d seen to work, and never talk to the pervert again.

I'd actually ask him to start looking for a new job elsewhere because if that group chat comes to light then all on the group will be for the axe. He should have left the group chat immediately as soon as the video was posted.

This is what’s going through my mind. The way he has handled it and the way I would is completely different, if that was a work group chat I was in.
if he thinks it’s acceptable to do nothing, seems just as bad.
thinking of the case of the French lady who’s husband was drugging her and him & others raping her and not one man did anything to help.
I know they are different cases, but the basis of men being disgusting and standing back and allowing these things to happen is disgusting and I can’t get my head around it at all

He told me last night and I think it happened in the last few days.
I think the backlash is what would be putting him off saying anything. But too me it’s obvious that you would just do the right thing for this poor woman (any maybe others that he’s done it to)

Has it made you wonder what your husband shares about you on the chat? Clearly this colleague felt comfortable in sharing that video with your husband and the others. I wonder why.

I’m not even invested in the morality side of things right now, that’s almost a second issue when the most pressing one is not losing his job and fucking his whole life up.

Maybe the solution is bypassing HR and filling that police form in with the details. Then the police will handle it and I don’t think the workplace would be involved.

I think your husband is scared for anyone to see other things in this chat. Otherwise he would report it. Has he something to hide? I’d be asking to read the entire chat. (There will be a way to recover it)

This is beyond an HR matter, it's a police one. You should report it then leave your partner. I couldn't get over something like that.

Actually have looked on WhatsApp (is this where the chat is?) and I don’t think there is an option to recover deleted messages. The police can though.

Yes, the police can forensically check the phones, deleted isn't ever gone.

Ask him if he thinks the backlash (for doing the right thing) is worse that what the woman has been subjected to by that man? That woman could have easily been you, his sister etc etc.

Good to know. Thank you