Husbands female friend who won’t go away

[Cookiecrumblepie]

My DH met a woman years ago before he knew me, and they hooked up a few times. She was very keen on a relationship with him but he wasn’t keen so they ended up being friends and she married someone else.

She never really had a lot in common with my DH but they work in the same industry so they know a group of the same people. Over the years she has remained in touch with him in a low key way, always small messages, hellos etc. Nothing suggestive of anything other than friendship. But DH isn’t really interested and sometimes doesn’t respond for a long time, but it goes on and on. It has now been decades and this woman is still low key around. AIBU in thinking this is a bit odd? She still messages and tries to maintain relevance, asking about things he’s interested in, hobbies etc. Why bother? She has her own husband, children and life, my DH largely ignores her.

YANBU to find it weird, but honestly, it sounds like she’s just annoying and your DH only responds to stave off awkwardness at the work situations where he would see her, so I wouldn’t give it much thought.

I know people who like to stay in touch with old friends/ workmates/acquaintances on an occasional basis.
Nothing wrong with that in my book, and nothing suspicious either.

Have you ever seen fatal attraction??

It does on here otherwise where would people get their drama fix from.

Nobody know keeps in touch with old contacts/past hookups? How would you even know that?

Some people place a high value on keeping in touch with people. And with good reason. People with more contacts are ‘luckier people’ . The more contacts you, the more opportunities you come your way and help you can find when you need it.

You say there is nothing suggestive and your H is interested in nothing more. I wouldn’t give this anymore headspace.

Oh yes, from a message every 3 months to boiling bunnies!

That's basically what Facebook's for though it doesn't work as well any more.

Referencing a work of fiction to try and make an o.p worried is very on brand for mumsnet I have to say.

I have a work colleague I was close with pre kids and marriage. He tried it on in my 20s but I wasn't interested/we cut contact.

We work in the same industry and he's senior now (so am I) we actually still get on well when we do chat and I speak to him occasionally for two reasons:

1. I know he still fancies me a bit, and 2) he can help me professionally and actually has stuck his neck out a few times to help me in my career.

I know that when I cut contact when we were young, however, he got really upset and told people everyone that I was pursuing him and it was him that cut contact (typical male ego).

I could actually imagine his wife posting something like this "why does this woman message him in a friendly way sometimes, can't she take a hint". But yeah, we're friends and he's very helpful for my job, that's mainly why.

Not sure if that helps 😅 but I'd imagine it's similar for this woman!

This is what I thought