To wonder why people used to marry so young

[estrella167532839]

In 1990 the average age for getting married was 24. I know couples who got married when they were 21/22 and had only just graduated from uni. I can’t imagine being married that young.

At the moment, it seems like most people get married in their 30s, if at all.

No.

I'm quite old. There seem to be a few misconceptions about 1990. Presumably, from people who were very young then, not born, or from particularly puritanical backgrounds.

Pre-marital sex was common and had been, in my experience, from at least the 1970s. Generally, nobody could care less about divorce and people living together before marriage.

Obviously, there would be exceptions, as there are now. Usually amongst the older generations.

Well it isn’t nonsense. People died younger many decades ago. Think Victorian times. Or even earlier.
And your point about people opting to have babies when they are 30’s plus proves my point ! People are having extended lives comparatively to those who lived in the past.
We marry later. We live longer.

I'm really surprised that 24 was the average age in 1990 as I was that age and knew noone who was even thinking about it. It could be that graduates were less likely to be married young though. I certainly knew a lot of people who married in their 20s. I can't see a problem with marrying quite young.

True. However, even though premarital sex and living together was fine, I think that people generally wanted to be married before children then so that might have meant they married at a younger age.

In 1990 only the most judgy of judgy people who probably still judge today were judging unmarried couples for living together. It was commonplace.

To answer your question OP, I don't understand it either. I had friends who married in their early 20s and I couldn't see the rush.

Ah but would you happily tell your mother?

We are similar age I do remember girls in school boasting about much older boyfriends and things they got up to, now I wonder how much was made up, and how much was actually grooming, abuse.

That is my memory too. Premarital sex and living together were fine. Unmarried mothers not fine.

We are not talking about victorian times. The fact is living longer & for the record people born in the 60s & 70s fall into this category, does not mean fertility doesn't significantly decline the older you become.

Depends what part of the country you're living in. In Catholic rural Ireland/Northern Ireland it most certainly was called living in sin especially by the older generation. Times started to move on towards the late 90s. I think England etc was and probably still is more progressive. The last mother and baby home closed in the Republic of Ireland in 1998.

When did abortion become legal in Northern Ireland?

Extremely judgmental and condescending

No one needs to be discussing their sex life with their mum fgs 😂

No of course not😂
Yes i ʻ remember girls in school talking about older boyfriends
Some was probably made up but some definitley went out with older men .

2020!

My maternal GPs got married at 19 because my Gran got pregnant, it really was as simple as that. Paternal GPs were 21 and 24, they were just in love and due to religious expectations had to marry to live together and such. Societal expectations were different, it also wasn’t common to divorce so marriage generally resulted in being stuck with that person long term whether you liked it or not.

My ILs married at 21, MIL was pregnant and that was what needed to be done.

I married at 26, DH was 31. This feels like of young now, but we met at uni, had lived togeteher for 5 years (out of uni), owned a house together and had the money. We wanted to start a family and prefered to be married for that. It didn't feel early.

I would imagine a big part of why people marry later now is that it takes much longer to get established. Not many 23 year olds can buy a house these days for example.

OMG I thought it was the 2000s I didn't realise it was as late as 2020.

So 30 years AFTER the last Mother and Baby home closes in NI I was thinking their might be a link but definitely not

My grandmother who if was still alive would be in her 90s - got married at 16 to my grandfather who was 18.

It was because living together and having sex outside of marriage was taboo. She would have been disowned. She was also pregnant with my aunt.

The OP asked why are people used to marry so young ?
My view is because in the past lives were shorter. So people packed more in a shorter time frame. And would have had children younger.
My example to explain my point of view was to take even Victorian times compared to today.

And yes as you age fertility does decline. I don’t disagree with you there.
No need to say ‘for the record’ at me by the way.