To sleep in the car tonight ?

[ezzzyboy]

Dh and I both had a long day at work. I was telling him tonight that all I wanted was a hot dinner before I went out because I am so cold. He suggested my favourite takeaway.. He ordered on the app, added DC order too .. and then placed the order. I was like "what about me" ???? Dh said he didn't think I wanted anything ... err i had just spent 20 minutes telling you.I was so cold and was looking forward to a hot dinner tonight. Dh got shitty, i stormed out. Went to the local cheap eat place for a table for 1 .. they were fully booked.

I feel like turning my phone off all eve. Im now at a friend's house. And maybe sleeping in the car. That will give him something to worry out.

It's been an awful week in general. My mental health is shot to pieces. Despite that, I do everything for everybody at home. Only to be treated like this.

This is the straw that broke the camels back for me

He ordered a takeaway for him and the offspring then went to a restaurant? Why not have the takeaway he didn't eat?

No. Read the OP again. Or not, it's not really that important, but if you're going to reply you might as well get your facts straight.

Why on earth are you trying to excuse his totally selfish behaviour?
OP had every reason to be upset and annoyed when her H made it very clear how little he cares about her.

To be fair I don’t think we have enough info to judge it either way.

Does he normally try to gas light you?

Don’t sleep in the car. You will be cold, uncomfortable, potentially unsafe and at 3am, you’re going to be absolutely miserable.

Go to your favourite takeaway, get your food. Either go to a hotel if you can afford it, or go home if you can’t.
If you go home, tell him that you don’t want to talk to him tonight because his lack of thought for you has been the straw that has broken the camel’s back and if you argue tonight, you will say something that there is no coming back from. Tell him you need space and ask him to sleep on the sofa. You don’t want to be arguing in front of your DC. When you’re able to talk, tell him that he is not good enough. He is utterly failing as a husband and if he wants to keep his family, he needs to stop treating you like he actively dislikes you before you lose all love and respect for him. If he can’t do that, then your marriage is dead in the water.

But didn’t you say you were going out? Had he assumed you were out to eat?

He didn’t say sorry, he got shitty with her. At no time has the OP suggested that he was apologetic.

And she says she does everything at home for everyone and that this is the straw that has broken the camel’s back. I think we can safely assume that there is a backstory to this and he’s not a usually lovely husband who just had a bloody stupid half hour.

@ezzzyboy why didn’t you just eat his or at least insist he shares it? He wouldn’t like it, so he’ll definitely not f**k-up next time.

I was telling him tonight that all I wanted was a hot dinner before I went out because I am so cold.

Just open the App up, and order yourself something.

You can make the point you are pissed off without playing the Martyr

Spend the money spent on takeaway/meals out should’ve been spent on heating.

Apparently I had told him I didn't want dinner

Is there something that you said that could have been interpreted that way? Or was he just making it up?

I misread OP's final post, sorry about that.
But still, sleeping in the car or going to a hotel is not the way to deal with this. Better to go home, have something to eat and start thinking about whether her marriage can be saved.

Why on earth would she spend money on heating? She’s cold after a day at work.

This is bizarre. Either he got the wrong end of the stick and wasn’t listening properly (we can all be guilty of that) or he’s a twat who deliberately leaves you out of meals
(seems unlikely but only op knows the truth here).

whatever the truth, and without an enormous back story, your reaction is odd and extreme. Throw on a jumper, make yourself some dinner, go out on your night out and chill out!

Do you really want to put your kid through a whole lot of anxiety and worry over mum going missing, just because your husband has been a twat? Your kid won't forget it.

what a load of silliness. making a big drama out of something minor. order your own take away, it's not hard

I’d be interested to know how often this works. When women are advised to kick out their partner or husband when they jointly own the house after an argument - why should they leave? Likewise telling them to sleep elsewhere - surely their response would be - if you don’t want to share a bed, you go to the spare room/sofa?

I don’t think anyone would think it was bizarre, odd or extreme if they just RTFT properly.

I mean, you could have just called the takeaway place and asked to add on to the order - they would have taken your card details over the phone.

I agree with the previous poster who mentioned about performative cruelty. Just go home when you’re done at your friends house. No need to act so petulant.

So she needs a takeaway every night after work? @TheFormerMrsTruelove

I’m not excusing his behaviour. I said he has been an idiot. But he didn’t intentionally fail to feed her, he was thick not nasty.

People make mistakes.

Awful treatment and do whatever as a reaction to him, but consider DC’s feelings too. Shocked at lack of consideration for DC in the comments.

@ezzzyboy He made a mistake. He was tired and not listening. Why didn't you just suggest sharing the two dishes ordered?

I assume its his DC and not yours?

(As staying out all night and not telling your own DC where you are would be an awful thing to do)

To confirm:
The "I'm cold and just want a hot dinner" chat was 20 mins long as there was a back story to it, while I was telling DH.

He sat next to me, ordered for himself and dc .. he then usually passes the phone to me for me to add my order. That is what i was expecting to happen. It didn't. He just placed the order. I was like wtaf.

While he was ordering he asked me about going out and I said TWICE that I was not out for dinner with my friend.

He was cross at me .. i've felt it like this is a trying to deflect the blame. He has form for doing that.

I'm 51, peri, MH is ruined due to other issues going on.

I wanted to be out all night without letting home know where I was... but DC (15) would hugely worry and I wouldn't do that to them. I've come home, ignored DH and come to bed