To sleep in the car tonight ?

[ezzzyboy]

Dh and I both had a long day at work. I was telling him tonight that all I wanted was a hot dinner before I went out because I am so cold. He suggested my favourite takeaway.. He ordered on the app, added DC order too .. and then placed the order. I was like "what about me" ???? Dh said he didn't think I wanted anything ... err i had just spent 20 minutes telling you.I was so cold and was looking forward to a hot dinner tonight. Dh got shitty, i stormed out. Went to the local cheap eat place for a table for 1 .. they were fully booked.

I feel like turning my phone off all eve. Im now at a friend's house. And maybe sleeping in the car. That will give him something to worry out.

It's been an awful week in general. My mental health is shot to pieces. Despite that, I do everything for everybody at home. Only to be treated like this.

This is the straw that broke the camels back for me

This sounds like an OTT reaction. Yes he was selfish but staying out all night without telling him is going to cause panic.

Was there not enough food to share? Or bits already in you could add? I would point out his selfishness and disappointment in him and how you would not do that.

This!

Couldn't have summed it up better. Honestly what a complete overreaction on your part to a minor mistake.

Feels like performative cruelty. My two least favourite states are being cold, and being hungry. Having been married to someone that would turn the heating off when it was 14 degrees inside, and knew once I got cold it would take me hours to warm up again, this sort of issue is so multilayered and corrosive. I divorced the guy that didn’t mind if I couldn’t feel my toes.

This is an outlandish level of meanness. I hope you get nice and warm and have something to eat, Op. I don’t think you’ve overreacted.

I suppose what it boils down to is he usually a selfish thoughless prick who doesn't listen or prioritise you or was a genuine one off error?

Youre right, its the straw

Let us know when you leave him x

How old is your DC, it seems a horrible punishment for them to have their mum out all night with no clue or if or when she’s coming back.

Don't upset and worry your children by staying out and turning your phone off.

Go to a hotel.

Did he think you were going out for a meal?

Staying out all night to teach him a lesson is no way to live for either of you. End it if that’s what you really want to do.

Are you feeling hormonal and sulky? I was like that a lot during the menopause, but thankfully, I’m past all that now. I used to feel like the tiniest thing could make me feel so incredibly angry, which was obviously ridiculous when I’d actually had time to reflect.

Can you have a straightforward conversation where you state clearly what you want him to do? Give him specific tasks? Don’t expect him to guess what you want.

How old are the dc? It sounds from your op as though you were going out anyway tonight so is it possible they just think you’re out with your friend as originally planned and they’ll just go to bed? I couldn’t leave mine worried.
If you decide to stay out, don’t martyr yourself by sleeping in the car, it’s childish and benefits no one. Go to a supermarket and get yourself a new set of comfy loungewear and check into a hotel for the night. Text dh to say he was selfish and you’re upset and staying out tonight, you will talk about it tomorrow.

Huh? This makes no sense!

You wanted ho hot meal before you went out? Out where?

He ordered a takeaway for him and the offspring then went to a restaurant? Why not have the takeaway he didn't eat?

If you are going to a friend's house why not slept on her sofa / spare bed / floor instead of in the car?

Anyway a takeaway for two would normally feed 3 anyway, just share!

Please don’t sleep on the car. Get yourself some nice food and either go home or go to a friend or hotel. Only stay out if you if your children won’t worry though.

Going home isn’t some sort of giving in. Your husband isn’t listening to you and you need to address this but not today. I never gave up my bed even when things were shitty with my ex h! You don’t have to be a martyr to express yourself.

It's annoying but your reaction is childish and OTT.
Don't stay out - what about DC?
If it really is the last straw, plan your exit from the relationship in a mature way.

@ezzzyboy sorry you have had a tough time.

You didn't want to pay another delivery fee but seem to accept paying for a possible hotel room?

Sleeping in the car does not inconvenience anyone but perhaps you? I'm not seeing how that helps. Maybe stay at friends or go home with a takeaway and eat?

That’s such a dick move on his part. There’s no way either me or my husband would do that to each other. Don’t sleep in the car tonight though- you’ll be cold and won’t actually sleep much and as your mental health isn’t great as you say, you need proper sleep.

What a selfish prick.Im guessing this is the last straw after a whole load of things.
My ex husband would often cook dinner for himself only if I wasnt cooking for us and cook nothing for me. That kind of carry on is why he's my ex husband.

Incredibly selfish. Bizarre in fact.

But:
Do not sleep in the car..nothing will feel better for having had no sleep during to cold and discomfort.

Also: a hotel will be way more than the extra delivery charge.

You should have just ordered.

Stop cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Let your friend spoil you, go home, tomorrow have a really serious talk with your H about his terrible treatment of you.

Why did you spend twenty minutes telling him you wanted a hot dinner? That is too much talking about something that barely merits a sentence. It's odd.

And his behaviour is odd.

And your idea of being cold in the car just to make a point is odd.

Don’t sleep in the car. Go to a hotel. Is he always such a selfish prick?

You didn't want to pay for a Just Eat delivery charge, but don't mind paying for a hotel? You complained about being cold in the car but you're planning to sleep in an unheated car in late October?
You've got this out of proportion. DH said sorry. Text asking him to order you the meal you wanted and go home to eat it.

What did he say when you were telling him about wanting a hot dinner? Did he acknowledge it, did you discuss what you were going to eat?
Anyway, don't stay out and definitely don't sleep in the car, go home. What if your husband is really worried and calls the police?

"He ordered on the app, added DC order too"

The "added" and "too" means yes, he ordered for himself.

Wait did he think you were going out to have dinner with your pal? I’m not usually one for a midweek takeaway but if my husband went out for dinner I might order a McDs for me and the kids if I couldn’t be bothered cooking