Settle an argument

[eloeloelo]

Would you let your 12 year old daughter (yr8 summer born) go out trick or treating with two 14 year old girls on their own in the dark. This is in an area the 14 year olds know well and the 12 year old doesn’t know well. They want to go out about 6-6:30pm for an hour or so.
This isn’t an overly rough area but it’s certainly not without its issues either.

YABU - yes I’d let them go
YANBU - no I wouldn’t let them go

What’s the relationship? How well do they know each other?

How trustworthy are the 14 year olds?
I hate Halloween. I turn the lights off and hope nobody comes any where near my home. Can you honestly trust the three of them not to cause issues for local residents?

Around here kids stop trick or treating when they hit secondary school, so you wouldn't have 14 year olds going round. But you would have groups of 11 and 12 year olds together. Younger than that would likely have 1 parent per group

Would totally depend on my perception of the local area. Where I live I'd have no safety concerns, but you know your local area.

Usually there is an adult in the background at those ages. I would go with although be low key.

Maybe I live in a rough place but the kids around here don’t take adults trick or treating when they are 12/14.

Agree it would depend on the trustworthiness of the 14 year olds and what the area was like, including how busy it was likely to be at that time and how many people would be around.

Oh it’s a tough one, but if I thought the 14 yo’s were close friends of my dd and that my dd is pretty mature for her age then I’d probably allow the one hour of independence. I’d drive her to the area, hang about and then drive her home.

This is such a Mumsnet response!

They’re a group of girls that want to go trick or treating. Not an armed mob in balaclavas.

What are the 14 year olds going as? That may give you the answer you are looking for.

There are so many families out trick or treating, what are you exactly worried about? And what is the relationship with the girls?

Sorry should have added one of the 14 year olds is a close person the other one is their friend so not as well known. Daughter doesn’t know the area well and has expressed some anxiousness then tried to back track.

zombie

Yes, that’s fine.

They want to go out a bit later on. Families with young kids usually go about 5/5:30 older kids more 7ish

nor here! At the age, they die of embarrassment!!

@eloeloelo

I would if it was an area the 12 year-old knew well, or if I trusted the 2 14-year-olds to look after the 12-year-old and not runoff and leave her on her own or something.

My kids did this and it was always to another area with a big estate that went all out for Halloween.

Does she have a phone? In find my friends? I think it’s ok.

I wouldn’t have a problem with this, I’d let the 12 year old go.

I think there has to come a point when they are too old for trick-or-treating, and an easy natural cut-off is achieved by saying that if they're too old to take a parent, they're too old.

Round our way, going out a bit later on means that everyone has run out of treats (or is busy putting kids to bed).

I don’t think teens should be TorT at all.

People don’t want teens on their doorstep in the evening.

Its a kids thing.

I would not let my 14 yos out harassing people later in the evening.

Sure, though I think that’s on the cusp of being too old and at 14 definitely too old to be trick or treating! Presumably there will be a number of families out and about.

I assume you have never had problems with the children who live in your local area?
Unfortunately I have. Off and on for years. At any time of the year.My experiences include children and teenagers - girls as well as boys - running up my path and kicking my door, throwing stones and other things at my window and door, vandalising my hedge. And various other intimidatory things.
So I make no apology for being worried and concerned on Halloween when there are multiple groups of children and teenagers roaming the streets.

Also people normally only knock at doors where there are pumpkins outside

Am I out of touch?! Why on earth are kids of 12/14 going trick or treating, surely it's for little ones? I'd be very pissed off if teenagers knocked on my door after 7. Whether it's the norm or not, I would not allow my daughter to go. Kids knocking on doors is sort of cute but high schoolers is just weird.

This is where I’m at. I did say to close ones mum a few weeks back are your kids (she has younger ones too) doing trick or treating this year or is eldest too old now - fully expecting a yes too old for it so was surprised when she said all her kids wanted to go!

Round here I’d say 12 is probably the eldest you’d see with an adult. Older kids have a reputation for being a pain- taking whole buckets of sweets from doorsteps, egging houses etc. The girls wouldn’t do that as they’re not like that but I worry about them getting caught up in stuff.
Theres not many street lights in the area where they want to go either.

For the record I’ve said no as 12 yr old expressed some worries at the weekend and I wasn’t keen either but they can hang out at ours or close friends house after and watch a movie etc if the older two girls still go