Settle an argument

[eloeloelo]

Would you let your 12 year old daughter (yr8 summer born) go out trick or treating with two 14 year old girls on their own in the dark. This is in an area the 14 year olds know well and the 12 year old doesn’t know well. They want to go out about 6-6:30pm for an hour or so.
This isn’t an overly rough area but it’s certainly not without its issues either.

YABU - yes I’d let them go
YANBU - no I wouldn’t let them go

She will be fine op. Presume she has her phone? Location tracker on?

Actually, I would argue that yours was more of a Mumsnet response, since you clearly can't conceive the idea that we don't all live in the same socio-economic bubble you do.
12 year old girls are vaping and more 😳where I live.

If anybody came trick or treating round here, they would get very short shrift. Not interested in the least.

No I wouldn’t. But I don’t really agree with Halloween anyway, it’s effectively sending children out in the dark begging from strangers.

12 and 14…would usually have an adult with them 🫣 surely you don’t, they must be mortified

They’re too old for this in my book I don’t entertain teenagers at all it’s not for them at all - only little kids out earlier and by 6:30-7pm blinds down pumpkins inside and nobody answers the door!!

I'd go with but keep my distance.

An adult in the background at 14?! They would be mortified.

Mmm yeah as opposed to giving them 24/7 access to the worst of humanity online, including paedophiles.

Then you surely approve of them enjoying childhood activities like trick or treating instead?

@Letstryandgetitright you have my sympathies my mum has had similar .she's in her 80s and was very frightened.

I’m confused. You seem to have added an additional entirely unrelated hazard as though that somehow negates the original one?

Perhaps people normally do. But you are assuming civilised and respectful behaviour. And this doesn't necessarily happen.

True, I did make the assumption that you (and/or people who read your comment and agree with you) will forget that what we allow children to do is just about social norms.

We don't boycott products made with child labour, we also had that until recently in this country until we offshored it, and we give zero shits about supervising children online but my god they better not partake in knocking on local neighbours' doors asking for sweets on an agreed day when neighbours also agree to participate, if they put up decorations. Typically supervised too.

It's pretty normal for teens to trick ur treat where I am.

I wouldn't expect to supervise a 12yo, and especially not 14yos, no.

I disagree! Love having the teenagers come round as much as the younger ones - it’s nice to see them out having a laugh and their mad costumes and party pieces (NB I’m not in England which maybe makes a difference - totally normal for teenagers to go guising here)

In my area older teen kids do also go out but later on around 8pm and without adults. We still answer the door to them, admire their costumes / masks and offer sweets. Never had any bother. I think its good that they are still doing it as long as not causing trouble. DC and friends went out (early teens) did some houses then went to the graveyard to scare themselves. Halloween is quite a big event for kids of all ages. When my child was that age they didnt want to be on their own even with friends - wanted a parent lurking around though not direcly involved but there in the background as a safety net. If your DD has expressed some anxieties then backtracked Id suggest allowing 45 mins (they will probably go over the time anyway), agree boundaries for where will be / not go, have a mobile with location services on, go to an area with loads of families out doing it, dont be out late when its quiet, and id sit and wait in the car nearby. You could also agree a safe word that she could text or call you with if she gets uncomfortable. It will probably be fine but those things will reassure you both.

I would let her go but follow them round without her knowing

Same my end too.
Plenty of tweens (11+) and teenagers trick or treating without their parents. I do live in a very safe village though where everyone knows everyone. We all seem to go to town with decorations and costumes and kids are generally out between 5pm(ish) and 7.30pm(ish). Some of the teen halloween costumes have been epic!

Don’t do this OP 🤦‍♀️