My health Vs. The best school for my child?

[KittenBiscuit]

DH and I are going round in circles trying to decide on school preferences, please wise mumsnetters can you give us some guidance!

We both really liked a school about 12-15 minutes drive away, lovely village school, five classes with mixed year groups, and amazing SATs results. We feel the academic environment would suit DS and keep him focused. We are very likely but not guaranteed to get in based on previous years admission data.

However I also liked a more local school, travel time would be about the same, but 15 mins walking instead of driving. It was only slightly bigger, seven classes so no mixed year groups, and had a lovely feel. The head there is fairly new and has made some good improvements, and she was very impressive in her answers to questions when she showed us around. DH has reservations based on the catchment of the school, as it's in a more deprived area, and objectively their SATs results are not good, well below the national average.

We both worry that DS is very much a follower and easily influenced, so the type of children around him could really influence his behaviour.

My issue is that I really think that the daily walking, about 1hr total for the round trips, would hugely benefit my health. I work from home and would be doing all the school runs as DH works away a lot. Right now I have almost no time for exercise, my job is full on and I often only have 30 mins for lunch, which I need to use to eat, so can't often get out for a walk then. I can't do classes or anything in the evening as DH isn't here or not back until late.

I currently drive DS to nursery, so the school commute wouldn't be a huge change. However, I am so unfit and I am really not feeling well in my current situation.
AIBU to put my health above the better school?

Couldn’t you put the better school as your first choice, knowing that you might not get in? If you do get in, drive part way there and walk the rest. That way you’ll get some exercise, you’ll miss the hell of parking near a primary school, and if the school has a sustainable travel agenda your child will be able to say they walked.

If you were to choose the better school, would buying a walking pad and doing your hour's walk at home once DS is in bed be an option?

Other considerations are that you will want DS to have local friends so a school you can walk to might be a good choice.

You might start off walking to the school, but end up driving there anyway. Just pick the better school

A 30 minute walk a day is nothing op - you won’t feel any health benefits from that tbh - you need to be doing much more than that exercise wise anyway

but I love walking to the school I couldn’t bare to have to get in my car in the mornings so
I’d probably chose the walking distance

I cycle with my daughter now side by side (she’s 6) and we get there in 5 mins - it’s great

Perfect answer.

Solved!
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Is the further away school sustainable? Ie does it have a falling roll or are the mixed classes intentional? I am not a fan of mixed classes myself so that would put me off.

exercuae in the mornings early? You have to make adjustments and make it it happen.

I hit the gym at 7am whilE DH Does the breakfast etc then I am back at my desk at 8:30 ready to start work.

pick the better school

It's an hour walk.

And also.... Even 30 minutes walking is beneficial. Especially so if you've done 0 minutes before.

Getting outside, fresh air, walking and chatting is hugely beneficial in many ways - exercise is not all about aerobic zones, recovery shakes and calories burned.

Are we talking about a three or four year old child who is a bit of a follower and who will thrive in an academic environment, away from the poor children with a bad influence?

DH is away all week with work, sometimes for multiple weeks at a time, so all the morning routine and bedtime routine is on me, I don't have the option to nip out to the gym. And quite frankly I need all the sleep I can get!

Unfortunately the village school is in the middle of nowhere, it has it's own carpark on a field next to the school, so drop offs aren't a problem, but walking wouldn't be safe as there are no pavements to it.

I think as others have suggested your exercise goal and the school commute might be better addressed separately. You’ll all be walking on stormy, wet and icy mornings, and this soon leads to choosing the car. Join a gym, buy some home fitness equipment or walk at lunchtimes. You have so many other opportunities to walk throughout the day and evenings without this plan.

Yes that's the type of child he is!

Thanks for this really helpful suggestion, I'd not even heard of walking pads, definitely an option! I'd only ever seen treadmills and I wouldn't have room for one of those, but if it could be stored under the sofa that could work! 😃

🤔

Right? 🤣🤣🤣

Tbh that's why we chose the school in the next village. Daughter is 6 in year 2.

Daughter is friendly with a few in the local school, as they live in the same road, so she goes to their parties and has a few play dates with the boy next door.

It's two different worlds about 3/4 mile apart.

School we chose, kids are friendly, funny and polite. Parents invested and interested in the school, education and wider world. Just generally pleasant kids.. obviously there's a few "wrong uns", but a nice cohort.

Village School we put last - kids are obnoxious, fight, hit, tell adults to fuck off, throw food at parties while adults egg them on etc. one parent when a kid was being silly said "shit the fuck up you little cunt" , one older boy around 5/6 snatched a toddlers toy off tejm, shoved them to floor and kicked them.... kids still in reception level/year 1 phonics etc.

So yes, I'm a fucking snob and made the better choice 🤷

You might be up for and able to do the walk in 15 mins but you’d need to allow three times that if your 4 year old is walking with you. Plus you’ll likely be going at the kind of pace which won’t really give you the health benefits you’re after.

having been here with good intentions and a 30 min walk, I can say that until 7-8 when I could trust my child on a scooter waiting at crossroads, I can count the numbers of days I walked in winter on the fingers of one hand.

I think you’ll be driving to either school more than you think once you can’t get away with a buggy (which will be after week 1!!!)

Sorry I missed the implications of the latter part of your message, I am absolutely not saying that poor children are a bad influence. Children can't help their home environment. And I obviously live locally to be considering the school. I want my son to strive to be the best version of himself and am not convinced that all families going to the second school would have the same mindset or attitude towards education. Is that so wrong?

Many thanks to everyone for your help, you have clarified my thoughts towards the first school being the best option. I will have to sort out my health another way.

That would definitely make it easier if you could skip the getting kids to school part.

And yet here you are, in striking distance to the school, figuring out the best way to support your son. What makes you think the vast majority of parents, parents who are your neighbours, aren't doing the same?

But the bit that made me giggle was labelling your barely out of nappies child, who has a whole lifetime ahead of him, a mindless conformist.

I’d choose the better school and find other ways to exercise. There are some good YouTube videos you could do during your lunch break, plus going for runs/brisk walks in the evenings or weekends when your husband is around to look after the children. Or/additionally, drop off at village school, then go for a 20 minutes brisk walk there and then drive home.

Very sweeping statement that might also be very untrue.