My health Vs. The best school for my child?

[KittenBiscuit]

DH and I are going round in circles trying to decide on school preferences, please wise mumsnetters can you give us some guidance!

We both really liked a school about 12-15 minutes drive away, lovely village school, five classes with mixed year groups, and amazing SATs results. We feel the academic environment would suit DS and keep him focused. We are very likely but not guaranteed to get in based on previous years admission data.

However I also liked a more local school, travel time would be about the same, but 15 mins walking instead of driving. It was only slightly bigger, seven classes so no mixed year groups, and had a lovely feel. The head there is fairly new and has made some good improvements, and she was very impressive in her answers to questions when she showed us around. DH has reservations based on the catchment of the school, as it's in a more deprived area, and objectively their SATs results are not good, well below the national average.

We both worry that DS is very much a follower and easily influenced, so the type of children around him could really influence his behaviour.

My issue is that I really think that the daily walking, about 1hr total for the round trips, would hugely benefit my health. I work from home and would be doing all the school runs as DH works away a lot. Right now I have almost no time for exercise, my job is full on and I often only have 30 mins for lunch, which I need to use to eat, so can't often get out for a walk then. I can't do classes or anything in the evening as DH isn't here or not back until late.

I currently drive DS to nursery, so the school commute wouldn't be a huge change. However, I am so unfit and I am really not feeling well in my current situation.
AIBU to put my health above the better school?

Id go for nearer school. Mixed yr groups can be unpredictable, friendships can be an issue. Local school they will have friends near by, easier to meet up, prob better afterschool activities. Plus when they get further up primary they can walk home themselves increasing independence.

Someone else has raised the issue of sustainability with the smaller school. Smaller schools with mixed age classes in the middle of nowhere are extremely vulnerable to closure due to falling birth rates.
Both my DC went to local schools that had poor reputations because the other choices were church schools and I refuse to pretend to be a church goes to get them into a particular school. Both did very well, got great GCSEs and A levels, both got good degrees and both earn over £100k now.

i think whether you’d like to be friends with the parents is hugely important. It’ll be a big part of your social scene for the next 7 years. I don’t think that’s snobby, that’s just normal! We all want friends who we have things in common with

Go to your closest school that you can walk to.

Daily walking and friends near by, with other parents walking the same route as you is really helpful when you're ill or need help with something.

Do beware of falling numbers at the small school and therefore the risk of school closure, but equally having SATs results that are significantly below average would be something I’d avoid if I could. I wouldn’t worry about being average rather than amazing - that’s actually kind of a good thing as it may mean they just aren’t too pushy, and the SATs are a poor measure of a whole primary school experience (be equally cautious of GCSE results at the next stage).

Whatever else I considered, I definitely wouldn’t be choosing the place that I sent my child for his first 7 years of school, 6+ hours a day, 190 days a year, based on me getting in an extra hour of walking a day.

If you don’t want to have any equipment at all then ‘grow with Jo’ on YouTube is really good. She has workouts that can be done at home and can be adjusted to suit every level.
My DH often works late so if I can’t get out in the evening to exercise I often do one of her sessions.

OP's story reminds me of a family at DC school.
This family lived 12-15 minutes walk from the school. Neither parent drove so they had to walk. Dad was a SAHP and often rocked up just before 2nd bell with his kids.

When their eldest was about 7yo, the dad said how the family were worried about the DD's weight, didn't want her to get fat like her mom. About putting the DD into sport etc. to try to prevent that. About 2 yrs later, mom's health problems had escalated so mom learnt to drive. From then on, Mom always drove dad & the kids to and from school. Always. Maybe because that justified having a car at all. With nowhere close to school to park unless you arrived early... I often marvelled at their failure to connect dots.

I reckon that if OP was going to get fitter she'd find and she will find a way, the school location isn't a determining factor.

What hours do you work op? I send my daughter to breakfast club an extra day I technically don’t need to and also after school club an extra day I technically don’t need it - and I use this time for gym/exercise/ batch cooking or whatever - it’s me gaining back 3 hours for myself! (It helps that she likes breakfast and afterschool club)

I also for excercise in with the kids too sometimes in the evening I do my workout with music on and they join me 🤷‍♀️

If you can't find the time for a 30 minute walk now, which can easily be done with a preschool child, and don't have the motivation to do 30 minutes exercise at home I'd expect you will end up driving to the closest school anyway.
Just go for the school you think is best for your DS. Which may even be the closest one, being with children who live in his area and not having mixed age classes would be a benefit. It would be better for the planet to not do unnecessary drives. If your car was in the garage you could still do school pick up by walking.

Sounds really complicated. You can do exercise from home and as much as the walk to school sounds nice I think the reality would be very different. You’ll end up driving, bad weather rushed mornings and so on

can you ask for flexible working?

I exercise for my own mental health so I can relate.

There's your answer OP. Put your son first. You could go for a walk in your lunch break

Go for the best school, then work the rest out from there.

Honestly people move mountains to get the best education for their kids.

IMO its batshit to me to put your own need for exercise into the equation, but thats just my opinion.

Closer school, walking is a benefit but no split classes would be my first choice.