AIBU? Sister in Law

[laughterworry0]

My sister in law, is lovely - but her character can be sometimes dismissive and she’s been rude to my mum on multiple occasions, since having her son / my nephew / my mums grandson.

we follow each other on Vinted and I noticed, she put a lamb teddy up like a soft snuggly toy, for £1.50. I realised, this is the one my nan ( so her son’s great nan ) brought her son for Easter as my son and daughter got one too.

AIBU that this has majorly peed me off?! My Nans 86. I feel she should be holding onto things she buys her son, and I feel my brother should say something!

I totally agree with how you feel OP, would too.
Take care

You are sentimental..they are not. No harm here. Also you are assuming they haven't been given two and are selling the duplicate toy. Get over it

You could buy it...

I’m so sorry about your Nan. I think your upset is clouding your judgement though, it would be best to let this lie. Totally up to her.

Good idea, buy it from her and keep it for him

Yes, she probably does feel differently about things from her own family.

It's understandable that you're feeling sensitive as your grandmother is critically ill, but realistically your nephew is unlikely to feel attached to or care about a toy he may be too young to remember receiving. Stories and photos will help her live on for the next generation more than a stuffed toy ever could. Be the person in the family who keeps the old stories alive.

I get it. Im big on manners and no way would I put family gift on vinted where it could be seen.
Fine she doesnt want it but have a bit of tact.

I can't imagine most people know their extended family members vinted account details though?

Agree, it’s disrespectful unless they’re in dire poverty.

Yes. Buy it so he has one. But message aNd say you'll keep and give her the £1.50 it incase he ever asks about her.

You might have a point except for the fact that she's selling it on her own Vinted account. There's no hint that her husband is involved in any way.

So you’ve made up some weird rule about dressing your kids up in the clothes someone else has bought them as being the ‘right’ thing to do and if other people don’t live by that completely made up rule, they must be ‘wrong’ and disrespectful.

Surely you can see that’s just plain ridiculous?

We all have little rituals we’ve picked up from our family, friends, culture etc. but that doesn’t make your made up rules superior to say my made up rules or the random person living in the next city.

My mum was the least sentimental or materialistic person ever and never kept anything from my childhood inc. photographs, and you know what…it really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean she loved me less or affect my happy memories of her at all. You don’t need to be able to hold onto a physical object to know you were loved. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My husband doesn’t have a vinted account but sticks stuff on the to list pile. Would be silly
to have two accounts for it I reckon. Just like we share a eBay and Amazon.

YABVVU for calling it a 'lamb teddy'. A teddy is a bear. This lamb is a soft toy, stuffed toy or plushie.

That’s the issue though, isn’t it? Your SiL is sentimental for stuff from her family. She apparently “pushes it down your throats”.. But your brother isn’t sentimental about his family and hasn’t done anything to ensure his Nan’s gift to his child is considered precious. You are more bothered than he is.

This isn’t your SiL’s fault.

I would strongly advise just letting this one go. Please do not mention it to anyone, obviously not to your SIL, but also avoid sounding off about it to other family members as it may get back to SIL. This is definitely not worth starting a huge family drama over!
I understand why it bothers you that she is selling a toy given to her child by a beloved family member but, honestly, kids get given so many toys, many from adored relatives and, in reality, a great number of them do just not get played with as kids tend to have their favourites. If your SIL's house is anything like ours it's probably jammed with toys, only a fraction of which our toddler actually really interacts with, so we do have to have a sort out from time to time. It is perfectly possible that your SIL can't remember where this particular stuffed toy came from and is just selling it on with a bunch of other neglected toys. Unless it was personalised or in any way unique, this seems like a fair explanation.
However, having said all this, I was a bit sad recently when I noticed that a copy of Raymond Briggs' 'The Snowman', which I had bought from a charity shop for our little girl, was actually a personalised edition, with the little boys name included in the story and a lovely Christmas message from the little boys grandparents for his first Christmas. It was brand new, didn't look like it had been opened, and I hadn't looked inside till it got it home. It did seem a bit sad that such a thoughtful, personal gift had ended up in the charity but, I imagine, it had just ended up included in a pile of books the previous owner had outgrown, there was likely no intent to deliberately discard a precious family keepsake.

She's a cunt . But your brother will get their in the end x

Possibly the greatest overreaction I’ve seen for ages on here 😂😂😂

pal, it’s likely not malicious to hurt ops nan. The poor woman is probably sick of cuddly toys, not wanting to spite poor Nan.

She’s a cunt, Jesus Christ. I remember when we used cunt for cunts, not just those who liked a declutter 😂😂😂

You keep yours, they can sell theirs. Assuming your SIL has ‘married in‘ then she won’t have the same emotional connection anyway.

Even if she did, she is within her rights to sell it.

It isn’t any of your business.

The OP’s kids already have exactly the same gift from her grandma. Nobody has told her she has to throw those out if she wants to keep them for HER children.

They’re just making the point that it’s beyond unreasonable to tell other people what they can and can’t do with something that was given to THEIR child. It’s none of the OP’s bloody business what toys her nephew keeps and what gets given away. Literally none.

That thing whooshing over your head is “the point”.

Absolutely batshit.

I agree. It's not worth her time taking a photo and creating a post for £1.50 and would also feel like a bit of a smack in the face considering who it's from

My wife's niece and husband sell everything that tfe kids don't want...it funds even more shit for the kids without stocks of shit to store.

Yesterday I played on a switch and lots of new games funded that way....and when they grow out of those games, there's a new system guess what happens

why is it your business what happens to things once gifted to someone? yabu