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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU? Sister in Law

100 replies

laughterworry0 · Yesterday 16:05

My sister in law, is lovely - but her character can be sometimes dismissive and she’s been rude to my mum on multiple occasions, since having her son / my nephew / my mums grandson.

we follow each other on Vinted and I noticed, she put a lamb teddy up like a soft snuggly toy, for £1.50. I realised, this is the one my nan ( so her son’s great nan ) brought her son for Easter as my son and daughter got one too.

AIBU that this has majorly peed me off?! My Nans 86. I feel she should be holding onto things she buys her son, and I feel my brother should say something!

OP posts:
BakedAl · Yesterday 16:09

Yabu. If the baby isn't bothered by it what's the point? Hardly a family heirloom.

Skybluecoat · Yesterday 16:11

YABU. None of your business.

laughterworry0 · Yesterday 16:12

BakedAl · Yesterday 16:09

Yabu. If the baby isn't bothered by it what's the point? Hardly a family heirloom.

Selling it for £1.50 though? I understand some people need the money, but this was purchased by someone who may not be here soon and he may never have anything else to say ‘this was brought for me by my great grandmother’ - maybe I feel differently about family, especially when they’re critically ill.

OP posts:
WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · Yesterday 16:14

YABU not everyone likes a load of stuff overwhelming their space.

MargaretThursday · Yesterday 16:15

Maybe they got two...

ColdAsAWitches · Yesterday 16:16

Absolutely none of your business.

MakeItToTheMoon · Yesterday 16:18

You should buy it from her on Vinted!

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · Yesterday 16:23

Best to stay out of that, it’s entirely up to your SIL what she does with toys she doesn’t want/need.

TheLastSilverSaint · Yesterday 16:23

laughterworry0 · Yesterday 16:12

Selling it for £1.50 though? I understand some people need the money, but this was purchased by someone who may not be here soon and he may never have anything else to say ‘this was brought for me by my great grandmother’ - maybe I feel differently about family, especially when they’re critically ill.

You’re being absurd.

Just because you feel sentimental about this sort of thing for your children, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong for her to sell a cheap cuddly toy that’s taking up space in her house. It was just one of a million toys people will have bought for the baby. All those people will be dead one day. Is she meant to keep every single thing?

It doesn’t mean you “feel differently about family”. It means you feel differently about objects. You’re just looking for petty reasons to moan about your SIL.

I don’t own a single item bought for me by any of my grandparents, let alone my great grandparents. I own one cuddly toy from my childhood, which is the teddy bear I used to sleep with from babyhood. I have absolutely no idea who bought it for me. I wouldn’t have kept a cuddly toy that I wasn’t interested in just because it was the only one bought for me by a relative I didn’t have any memory of.

You sound incredibly nosy and interfering and your brother doesn’t need to say anything to his wife because he doesn’t give a shit about hoarding cuddly toys either. And that’s absolutely fine.

TheBrambleDormouse · Yesterday 16:24

Buy it off her and tell her why

PepsiBook · Yesterday 16:24

Ybu

Whaleandsnail6 · Yesterday 16:27

Yabu and ridiculous

Is she supposed to keep everything that is bought for her children, just in case that person that bought it is no longer with us one day? Where does it end? Clothes that no longer fit? Toys that are long outgrown? Lets face it, all of our children will sadly likely have relatives that will pass away due to their age, its a fact of life.

You clearly don't like your sil and are reaching for things to feel annoyed about

canklesmctacotits · Yesterday 16:27

I mean, your grandmother isn’t her grandmother, and as the baby’s mother she gets to say what stays/goes. I’d think very poorly if my SIL tried to police what I kept/sold/donated on the basis of who gave my child stuff. It’s literally none of your business. And where’s your brother in this anyway? It’s his nan too, he doesn’t seem to have a problem (have you told him?).

Imseriouslyyouguys · Yesterday 16:29

Yes Yabu. I’m sure your kids have also been given things that they didn’t enjoy or need. It’s 6/7 months ago now. Maybe they’ve got far too many soft toys cluttering up the place and need to get rid of some.

Personally I wouldn’t bother selling anything for £1.50 but it’s her prerogative.

outerspacepotato · Yesterday 16:30

It is not your business what the parents choose to do with their kids' toys.

If you want it so bad, go buy it off her. You put emotion, in this case sentimentality, into objects and she probably doesn't.

VioletsTale · Yesterday 16:32

Some people don’t attach sentimentality to things and are more practical. That’s completely fine.

itsnearly2027 · Yesterday 16:34

Don’t go looking at her Vinted page if it’s going to trigger this unnecessary response. It’s just not worth it. I know it sounds easy but you need to care less about this sort of stuff

Marieb19 · Yesterday 16:34

You are not only being unreasonable, you are also controlling. Stop snooping on your SIL and focus on your life and your relationships.

persikmeow · Yesterday 16:37

I could have been your SIL as I cannot stand random unwanted tat people give my child at every opportunity. Vinted is absolutely brilliant for this - hopefully the toy goes to a child that will love it, and your SIL’s house will be a bit less cluttered.

YABVVVU for policing what she is selling though.

Coconutter24 · Yesterday 16:37

It is absolutely none of your business what your SIL is selling on vinted. So yes YABU to be majorly peed off by this

TwinklyAmberSloth · Yesterday 16:38

YABU.

Kids love what they love. My DS hijacked my own charity shop 50p bear over the expensive Jellycat he was bought!

Kids get loads of teddys that generally end up at a charity shop years later.

IAmJaneDoe · Yesterday 16:39

My Dad used to pull this type of emotionally manipulative stunt. He’d look up my eBay username and if anything I was selling was something his side of the family had pitched then he and/or his wife would tell me how horrible and selfish Im being and how I should hold on to things for “the sentimental memories” and how sad I’ll be when that person dies.

GintyMcGinty · Yesterday 16:40

YABU and ridiculous

AliTheMinx · Yesterday 16:42

YABU!

EverlastingPeace · Yesterday 16:43

YABU
You can hold onto stuff your GM has given you but noyb what others do