“I’ll leave you to get on with it” - Aibu to not have greeted my DH this morning after blazing row?

[Haveacold]

DH upset me last night. We planned to watch a movie together after a long hard week and instead he chose to go the pub. I just said, in a tone I was careful of, I thought it was our night tonight? I’m a bit sad that we don’t get that time together now.

he shouted at me, told me to see a psychiatrist and then said our relationship is going to fail if I don’t change my form of thinking.

obviously this made me cry. I tried to hide in the kitchen to stop him seeing me cry but he came in before he left and saw me. He sighed and said “shall I just leave you to get on with it?” A pretty impossible question - if I said no it would mean he wouldn’t go and I’d get the blame.

he was gone for a few hours and came back to saying he was heartbroken about me being upset. I said I wasn’t upset he went the pub, I was upset that he screams at me and tells me it’s wrong to cry. We went to bed alone,

this morning he got up early with DC (he does Sundays, I do every other day). I walked into the living room and said a general good morning, kids came up to hug me. DH stayed laying on the couch. I made a cup of tea and sat down and he said, in front of the kids, “no hug, no kiss, no good morning? Fucking hell another shit day”

he’s since screamed again and told me he’s sick of me being sad, I need antidepressants and that he expects his wife when she walks into a room he’s in, to say good morning. WIBU not to after last night?

Sounds like he is the one that needs his moods adjusting with pharmaceuticals.

Any man who spoke to me like that, particularly in front of children, would be packing his bags. He sounds vile.

Who was he meeting at the pub, I wonder🤔

@Haveacold I would think one night with that oaf is one night too many frankly. Why does he think he can talk to you like something he stepped in? Sounds like he is projecting and he needs counselling or something. Do yourself (and your kids) a big favour and dump the creep.

This. He sounds abusive and his flip flopping with shouting and sarcastic one minute and nice the next is designed to destabilise you. It is all just different forms of abuse and you are clearly feeling abused from your description of your marriage.

I would be more than quiet or sad, I would be getting my fucking ducks in a row and lining up at the lawyers with everyone else in January.

There's only so much of this tripe you can put up with surely @Haveacold

Have you considered that your mental health problems might be linked to the way he is treating you. Sounds like you communicate normally but he turns it back on you and makes you feel guilt when you haven’t font anything wrong

What a truly horrible man. You deserve better op.

Sounds like you're walking on eggshells. He sounds abusive. You could be so much happier without him.

You need to get help. Speak with citizens advice to see what resources would be available in your area.

And your kids will grow into adults who have this relationship as their benchmark and they will repeat the cycle with their partners. And on it goes.

He's abusive. Either tell him you are going out three nights a week - join some clubs - or tell him to leave and you are divorcing him. Because he is abusive.