Was I unreasonable to go to Pilates in the middle of the day? Feel sick....

[SisterJude7]

I work from home and am allocated 30 minutes for lunch. I am chronically underpaid for my level of seniority (I manage a small team). In my view, it is inhumane to expect human beings to only take a mere 30 minutes to recuperate, although many of my colleagues relish missing their lunch breaks and wear their lack of lunch as a badge of honour. I admittedly sometimes go for a run, attend a gym class or run some errands before school pick up which is beneficial for my own wellbeing. No issues with my performance, I work my hours and I have finished late on numerous occasions anyway. The daytime classes tend to be cheaper and use less of my Class Pass points and besides, I have zero time in the evening.

Anyway, on Friday, I attended a 50 minute Pilates class. I don't usually pay much attention to the other attendees, but during the warm-up, I was absolutely blindsided to see a director on the carriage opposite (she has Fridays off). My stomach absolutely dropped-she definitely clocked me and looked stony-faced but briefly nodded. To make matters worse, the shock went straight to my bowels, so I needed to dash to the loo 😭😭. I had no choice but to complete the class which felt like the longest 50 minutes of my life with a churning stomach. She scuttled out at the end of the class.

Do you think I will be in trouble? I have spent all weekend ruminating. I don't want recent minor transgressions to be put under the microscope- I've been spoken to informally about my dogs barking in a client meeting and once I also forgot a teams meeting and popped to the supermarket. I don't want to be forced to go back to the London office as my dogs have separation anxiety and I need to be around to pick up my DCs. Should I say something and get in there first? My DH thinks I am overreacting, it will be fine and that I should just buy a mouse jiggler from Amazon which I don't agree with.

Wow you are so unreasonable. You can’t justify it to yourself by saying you’re underpaid etc. The rules are 30 mins for lunch, you need to stick to that. Unfortunately that’s the way it is. I think you’ll just have to wait and see if you get in trouble and don’t do it again. I’ve worked in really hectic restaurant management in central London and whilst yes in theory everyone should legally get a break, we’d often work 10 hour shifts on our feet with no break whatsoever due to staff shortages etc. You just have to do what you have to do to meet the demands of the job- otherwise someone else will always be happy to do it.

Yes, you ABU !

Whether this thread is legit or not, there are plenty of people taking advantage while WFH. Countless threads about caring for their child while working to save costs, plus all the other examples the OP managed to so neatly explain in her post
Which is only going to harm everyone

I think it really depends on the type of role you have. I do think most office type jobs can be done flexibly and it’s ridiculous to only allocate a 30 minute lunch break, as long as you do at least the right number of hours overall.

Even though you’re underpaid it sounds like you already have a lot of freedom which has benefitted your life - dogs, school pick up. I think you’re arrogant to put that in jeopardy. There’s a certain degree of trust involved in WFH and you’ve broken that. Hopefully this is a wake up call and you don’t get in trouble but I’d be surprised if your manager didn’t tighten things up now.

that is shocking.
you are in trouble op
i assumed you were doing an online pilates at home when i first started reading

I wouldn’t worry about it. She probably won’t even say anything, but I’d perhaps stick to the 30 mins in future, or I would Teams your line manager and ask if she minds you going to a class as you’ve worked late on so and so days.

If she says no, then I would stop working any extra hours.

Do an online Pilates lesson, cheaper as well. Problem solved.
Please take a minute to appreciate the luxury of working from home that you have and many would do anything to have it but sadly can’t.

Unclear insufficient information So if you do a reformer class do you make up the extra 40 mins (given it’s 1hr 10 including travel time at least) on that day to make up for it?

You mention DC, are you doing the school runs in work hours - do you make this time up if you do?

And what are your normal working hours? If you are only doing 9 to 3:30pm then a 30 min lunch break is fine, however not sufficient if 8am to 5:30pm

It's people like you that are the reason that companies are stopping WFH and making people return to the office. If you don't like only having half an hour for lunch, get a different job. Taking well over an hour for a half hour lunch break without getting permission and making up the time elsewhere is a joke. It's unprofessional to have dogs barking in the background of a meeting as is nipping to the supermarket.

Is the director also assigned a 30 minute lunch?

If you are in a job where taking a longer lunch causes you to have bad toileting situations, then you really need to start either stopping the long lunch breaks without permission, advocate for longer more flexible lunches where time is made up before or after the usual working day, or get a job where you can afford the non cheap pilates options. Or do pilates at home with a you tube video. Pause it halfway and open a new document that you are working on and then go back to it.

I think you have taken the piss - even if you work late companies will often say they didn’t ask you to. I would request permission going forward using time owing.

what hours do you work if you can also do the school run after this ??

It really frustrates me when people take the piss out of WFH like this.

You wouldn’t do this in the office, so why do this at home.

If any of this is real then why not just ask if you can extended your lunch break so you can attend the gym, and work a longer day.

You’re expecting to be paid to attend a Pilates session and then the extra time to have your break to eat your lunch.

You’re being paid well over an hour extra every day.

If they pull you up on this I would absolutely never be working late for them again. I only officially have 30 minutes lunch but go to a CrossFit class most days. I also work very late into the evening and weekends when I need to. It’s give and take.

I’d call being caught karma for taking the piss in the first place.

I think there is a pattern of behaviour here that doesn’t look great tbh. You are running your own informal flexitime system, but that means nothing unless it has been agreed with your seniors. You may think you’re underpaid, but you’ve agreed to the working hours and salary. If you don’t like them, you need to look elsewhere.

Don’t buy a mouse juggler. Your issue isn’t that your laptop/PC was dormant, it’s that you got caught out in person on an extended lunch break.

Nobody would give a shit at my work if I took an extra long break to do a class. But then I regularly work 10-12 hour days and travel abroad a lot - so it wouldn’t be in their interest to make it an issue.

In this case, I’d just whack it in my diary so it’s transparent, and offer to make the time up.

The director doesn’t work on Fridays. So, no, she wasn’t taking the piss.

Surely this is a wind up? If it's all true then yes, you are taking the piss! People like you are part of the reason why my massive employer has just announced that 17,000 remote workers have to be back in the office 2 days a week in 2027. Just do your bloody job in your working hours; it's not that hard 🤦‍♀️

If you offer flexibility outside of core work hours I would not be concerned at all, if this is raised with you by HR explain it was a one off and given the flexibility you offer don't consider this an issue. Be casual in response & try not to over-explain. Let them lead from there, even if they do take a strong stance on this its the first ‘offence’, relax it will be fine.

What a striking coincidence that the office you don't want to be made to go back to is in London, but the director just happens to live locally enough that she attends that particular pilates studio.

Work from home and flexibility is great if your employer offers and/or it’s been agreed your role works with it.

If they don’t offer/openly discuss it, it is very risky to unilaterally decide if for yourself.

By your reaction you know you are in the wrong here. Hopefully it doesn’t come to anything, but learn the lesson and either stop taking the piss, or discuss if flexible working is possible. Otherwise you might find yourself back in the office or worse.

If I was senior in your company and knew you were meant to be working, I’d absolutely feed misconduct back to your manager to investigate.

Actually it depends on what’s in her contract and what she’s agreed with her manager!

I wfh on flexitime and I wouldn’t dare take longer for lunch than if put on my timesheet even though most likely nobody would notice.
I think if you want to be leaving the house when you should be working then it needs to be pre agreed with your employer.

‘No issues with performance’ - dogs barking in clients meetings, missed teams meeting for food shop, taking double lunch break 🥴

does your employer know you do the school run?