Was I unreasonable to go to Pilates in the middle of the day? Feel sick....

[SisterJude7]

I work from home and am allocated 30 minutes for lunch. I am chronically underpaid for my level of seniority (I manage a small team). In my view, it is inhumane to expect human beings to only take a mere 30 minutes to recuperate, although many of my colleagues relish missing their lunch breaks and wear their lack of lunch as a badge of honour. I admittedly sometimes go for a run, attend a gym class or run some errands before school pick up which is beneficial for my own wellbeing. No issues with my performance, I work my hours and I have finished late on numerous occasions anyway. The daytime classes tend to be cheaper and use less of my Class Pass points and besides, I have zero time in the evening.

Anyway, on Friday, I attended a 50 minute Pilates class. I don't usually pay much attention to the other attendees, but during the warm-up, I was absolutely blindsided to see a director on the carriage opposite (she has Fridays off). My stomach absolutely dropped-she definitely clocked me and looked stony-faced but briefly nodded. To make matters worse, the shock went straight to my bowels, so I needed to dash to the loo 😭😭. I had no choice but to complete the class which felt like the longest 50 minutes of my life with a churning stomach. She scuttled out at the end of the class.

Do you think I will be in trouble? I have spent all weekend ruminating. I don't want recent minor transgressions to be put under the microscope- I've been spoken to informally about my dogs barking in a client meeting and once I also forgot a teams meeting and popped to the supermarket. I don't want to be forced to go back to the London office as my dogs have separation anxiety and I need to be around to pick up my DCs. Should I say something and get in there first? My DH thinks I am overreacting, it will be fine and that I should just buy a mouse jiggler from Amazon which I don't agree with.

I've been spoken to informally about my dogs barking in a client meeting and once I also forgot a teams meeting and popped to the supermarket. I don't want to be forced to go back to the London office as my dogs have separation anxiety and I need to be around to pick up my DCs.

You need a different job.

At the moment, you fit your job around your personal life.
Dogs barking on meeting calls, forgetting meetings, needing to pick up your kids from school.

You're in the wrong job.

This is probably a windup

Your behaviour is what gives WFH a bad name. You took more than double your entitlement for your lunch break, that is taking the P. Adding that to missing a meeting when you went to the supermarket and doing school runs I'd say you're at risk of a disciplinary and possibly spoiling it for your whole team by causing your employer to call everyone back to office working.

You kind of lost me at the 'inhumane' 30 minute lunch break ... signed teachers and school staff everywhere, who are lucky if they get even that without being uninterrupted or asked to do something.

But still. If you can start early, work late, I frankly don't get companies that would have a problem with people who would want to do a quick gym session mid-day as you did. It's healthy and you'll be feeling better about yourself. Just don't get caught eating a late lunch post-gym on camera at your desk.

my office is based on the edge of a park and when there were dogs barking noises coming through the window the person i was talking on the phone to was really paranoid about it , but that could be her

But are you honest about this? Or do you try and secretly have the extra time in the day because you feel entitled to it, like op?

Flexibility is great, if it is agreed and transparent. Op wasn't transparent and can't organise her working from home effectively since she managed to forget about a meeting whilst at the supermarket during work time another day and has meetings disturbed by her pet dogs.

I wouldn't blame her employer if they were unhappy and requested a return to office for the time being, op would only have herself to blame.

If this is true, I hope you get in big trouble. I’m a teacher and would bloody love the luxury of a 30 minute lunch break.

Your reaction itself shows that you are feeling guilty for doing something ‘wrong’. Also, if you’ve previously been warned for other things, it sounds like you’re a bit of a piss taker.

OMFG I like your style OP!

WFH wasn't 'a thing' when I was working full time (back in the day!) but I would have absolutely loved it and done exactly as you do ++

Plus, who doesn't love a reformer class (illicit or otherwise!)

If you're questioned you could mention you were struggling mentally on Friday morning and you made a split second decision to do something about it, hence the pilates class and mention that it was so beneficial you're thinking of making it a regular Friday thing to boost your productivity.

You say your performance is no issue so here's hoping you won't get shit for this.

I think you need to prepare yourself for being pulled up on this, that’s 40 mins over your lunch break. As you’ve already been pulled up on going shopping when you should be at work if this was one of my team members we’d definitely be having a chat.

Of course you were 🤣 and you know you were, as you are to go to a gym class or go do your shopping when you're supposed to be working!

Do you log your hours anywhere? If I were you I'd log it correctly and work extra to make up for the time you missed incase she checks. If you don't and she asks just tell her you took a long lunch but logged off late and start being more mindful of your timekeeping.

When people take the piss, that's when companies will scrap WFH so if they do you'll have to just suck it up!

Fgs, as a grown women I hate that we’re required to ask permission to have a life during the bulk of our waking hours! Your employer should be glad you’re taking care of your physical and mental wellbeing.

I assume you make the time up? I too get 30 mins for lunch which is barely enough time to make and eat a sandwich. However, if I need an hour i can just add that on to the end of the day. If you don’t make the time up, then they might have a different view.

If anything is said I would simply say ‘ exercise is really important for all of us, and 30 mins doesn’t allow me sufficient time. I can’t do it after or before work as I have child care commitments. However, I always make the time up over the course of the week. I really don’t see how they can punish you for that, and continue to promote staff wellbeing. ( which I am assuming they do, because class pass is an employee benefit).

I think it really depends on culture. I’m a lecturer and frequently work evenings and weekends - it’s Sunday morning and I’ve just spent the last hour or so replying to student messages. I do one WFH day and would happily do a reformer class in my lunch hour - in my place the “changing” is removing coat and shoes and putting on grip socks, I walk ten minute there and ten minutes back, and the class is 50 minutes. My lunch break is officially an hour. My manager is happy with give and take across our team, and while I would be very surprised to see him pop up in my class for various reasons, he’d be fine with seeing me there.

I am grateful to have a bit of flexibility, my manager is also grateful for the other side of that. It sounds like your arrangement is different though, OP?

I wouldn’t worry about the actual incident per se (assuming you complete your job and hours as you say), but it does sound as if the company would have reason to speak to you more broadly in terms of dogs not being in control on client calls and popping out to supermarket during work time (made worse by the fact it caused you to miss a teams call).

Your view of your level of responsibility vs compensation has no bearing on the matter.

I admittedly sometimes go for a run, attend a gym class or run some errands before school pick up which is beneficial for my own wellbeing.

It sounds like you massively take the piss if you do all of this during work hours, which it sounds like you do.

Wow yeah. I’m hybrid, also only get 30 mins for lunch and would fully expect to be called into a meeting with the big boss to explain myself in your situation and she would not be happy at all. My calendar has to be fully detailed as to where I am and when during my working hours, does yours? As if so, you’ll also be in trouble for fabricating your diary. I also hate only having 30 mins for lunch with no flexibility (especially when I regularly work later than my hours, it seems unfair) but those are the rules and no way would I take the piss like you have. I wouldn’t even ask to be able to attend a class during the day, good to keep requests for flexibility to situations where you really need it. Why can’t you go to a class in the evening? I’m sorry OP but it’s a situation of your own making, you knew the rules and chose to break them. I would expect dire consequences in my organisation so I hope for your sake yours is more flexible than mine.

Sorry I don't follow. Your colleague was in the carriage opposite what?

She was opposite you on the same train? Heading to the class?

Then she also attended the pilates class?

I don't see why once you'd seen her, you didn't just leave the class early so you'd not look like you'd gone vastly over your 30 minute allocation? Nobody made you stay there for 50 mins once you knew you'd been clocked.

But if this class is 50 mins plus two train journeys it doesn't really seem like a suitable activity for work days.

I 100% would not do that, if found out you will be disciplined and sacked.

You can’t do much about the Pilates class now, but obviously you can’t go again. A 50 mins class would have also required at least a little time to get there and back around it so way over your 30 mins break.

Good luck.

Most companies have key stroke monitoring technology - not enough to open a document, as they need to see that you are scrolling the pages and editing it now. [ETA mouse jigglers don’t escape this BTW as it is not ‘productive’ keystroke usage.] They can see how long you are spending screening an email and whether you are opening attachments and the algorithm flags anyone who is not active/productive. They use this at my DH’s company. It sounds invasive to me, but DH says he’s not bothered because he is working solidly and has nothing to be concerned about, but it does catch the people skiving off to do school runs without express permission or doing their ironing/walking the dogs when they are on calls and have switched off their cameras.

The carriage is part of the reformer - I guess equivalent to the colleague being on the neighbouring treadmill in a gym.

You know you were taking the mick a bit, and I'm sure we've all done it. If 30 mins isn't enough for your workday you need to either let them know or find another job. I'm sure a 9 to 5 requires more break, are you working more flexible hours? I worked 8:30 to 3:30 in a job some years ago and had a 30 mins break, and yes it didn't feel like a break though that was an in person job, by the time I walked to break room and out kettle on there wasn't much time to drink the coffee.

If I were you I'd try and style it out, don't admit to this being a usual thing and say cooly you were taking time in lieu, apologies for not checking first but felt you could take ownership of the decision based on finish work output etc.

But you have been rumbled, and I'd get taking a bit of extra time for a local run or home workout, but 10 mins to pilates, 50 mins session, 10 mins back (and presumably not clocking back in second walking through the door) is quite a stretch.

Most of us feel overworked and underpaid atm, with the amount of job cuts and staff not being replaced, but you need to recognise you have a cushy number, being able to collect kids from school AND still earn a living is the dream! Its become mine anyway. Dogs with separation anxiety don't really count as a reason to stay home to anyone except the owner of said dogs but you need to amend your casual and perhaps unconscious reclaiming of hours due to workload and short lunches and see the perks you do have.

Taking 1h15 for lunch instead of the 30min is fine occasionally as long as you make up the time on the same day, not « I’ll make it up over time ». Oh and also add the time you’ll take for the school run or for your actual lunch break.
I am quite flexible with my WFH time but would not book a long class during lunch, and I also wouldn’t go to the supermarket during the day. It sounds like you have been taking liberties.

For clarity on the “carriage” - this is a reformer Pilates carriage / in a studio that the op walks to.
(photo pending).

Ahhh, thank you! Sorry! That makes sense now. I'm still unsure why she didn't leave early though. I'd style it out like I was planning to do so all along.

So you stopped work, got ready for pilates, walked 10 mins there, did a 50 min class, walked 10 mins home, then presumably changed back to work clothes. And then had lunch, perhaps while working. But you only officially have 30 mins for lunch.
Plus you miss meetings because you go to the supermarket during work time.
Yes I’d say you are absolutely taking the piss.
If you want to take a considerably longer lunch break, you need to clear it with your manager beforehand and agree when you will make up the time, or take it unpaid.