Was I unreasonable to go to Pilates in the middle of the day? Feel sick....

[SisterJude7]

I work from home and am allocated 30 minutes for lunch. I am chronically underpaid for my level of seniority (I manage a small team). In my view, it is inhumane to expect human beings to only take a mere 30 minutes to recuperate, although many of my colleagues relish missing their lunch breaks and wear their lack of lunch as a badge of honour. I admittedly sometimes go for a run, attend a gym class or run some errands before school pick up which is beneficial for my own wellbeing. No issues with my performance, I work my hours and I have finished late on numerous occasions anyway. The daytime classes tend to be cheaper and use less of my Class Pass points and besides, I have zero time in the evening.

Anyway, on Friday, I attended a 50 minute Pilates class. I don't usually pay much attention to the other attendees, but during the warm-up, I was absolutely blindsided to see a director on the carriage opposite (she has Fridays off). My stomach absolutely dropped-she definitely clocked me and looked stony-faced but briefly nodded. To make matters worse, the shock went straight to my bowels, so I needed to dash to the loo 😭😭. I had no choice but to complete the class which felt like the longest 50 minutes of my life with a churning stomach. She scuttled out at the end of the class.

Do you think I will be in trouble? I have spent all weekend ruminating. I don't want recent minor transgressions to be put under the microscope- I've been spoken to informally about my dogs barking in a client meeting and once I also forgot a teams meeting and popped to the supermarket. I don't want to be forced to go back to the London office as my dogs have separation anxiety and I need to be around to pick up my DCs. Should I say something and get in there first? My DH thinks I am overreacting, it will be fine and that I should just buy a mouse jiggler from Amazon which I don't agree with.

I’m self-employed so I can go off to Pilates whenever I like! The difference is, no-one is paying me. You get all the benefits of being an employee that us freelancers don’t get - steady income, pension scheme etc. Personally, because I’ve sacrificed employment stability for freedom (to exercise or go to the supermarket or gym when I want, being around more for my kids) I find it a bit annoying that you seem to think you can have both…

In theory, we are adults, and should be trusted to do our jobs and get the work done. An hour long Pilates class shouldn’t matter…but I’d feel a bit miffed if I was your employer tbh.

Hi OP. I'm not sure doing stuff like this is the wisest decision when you've already been spoken to about your home life impacting on work. 45 min ok, or doing something like going a walk where you can take calls or pop back quickly if something kicks off, but you were at least 1 hour 15 and uncontactable at that time. I think if you knew it was an acceptable thing to do, you would have been fine seeing your colleague. Your reaction showed its something you know you shouldn't be doing.

I'd be trying to look back through my diary to prove I was working at or above my hours

This has to be rage bait.

Presumably the 30 mins is unpaid? I have never had a role with a paid lunch break - but always an expectation to take one (unpaid) of at least 30 mins.
As a manager, I have always allowed my teams to take a bit longer if needed (still unpaid of course) as long as it does not impact work and ALL the hours for the day are completed.
However - an hour and 15 mins does sound like a lot - particularly if you are desperate to retain your wfh status. Did you work the extra 45 mins at the end of the day?

This all depends on how much OT you do to make up the time and how strict your work are on presence timings.

What do you think you can say to “get in there first”?

Plus yes the dogs barking is not on, and are you also meant to be working when you are collecting your kids from school?

How would a mouse jiggler help when you’ve been seen at Pilates for 50 mins, or just don’t dial into a teams meeting?

Honestly it sounds as though you’re just prioritising everything else (dogs, kids’ pick up, Pilates, shopping) over your job. You need to be aware that you’ll get found out eventually. Do you need the money or could you manage without it!

I wouldn’t get in trouble for doing this, but I would put the extended lunch break in my calendar.
It’s hiding it that’s the problem, you obviously know your company wouldn’t be okay with this, because if you thought they would be you wouldn’t be worried.

If only there were more bosses like you 😊

You were gone at least 1hr and 10min when you only have 30min for lunch. I, too, agree that a 30min lunch for a full day of work is ridiculous, and I think all employers should focus on output rather than hours but, if that's not how your employer operates, you were unreasonable to break the rules, particularly when you've already been spoken to about a couple of (minor) issues already.

If you want to keep working from home, you'll have to keep your head down and follow your employer's rules.

Well you've taken the advantage, so yes, they should make you go into the office.
WFH is a privilege.

This can’t be real 😂

It might be best to look for a job that suits your lifestyle.

It doesn’t sound like this job offers you the flexibility you need/would like in the day. In my job it wouldn’t be an issue. You have to balance the wfh requirements you have re dogs with what you do during the day. If this is a real post….

Inhumane to get 30 minutes for lunch

As a nurse I’m lucky if a get a wee break.

It’s not clear which way to vote. YABU to take longer than 30 mins if that is your break (unless you are allowed to make up the time later and do so). YANBU to worry you have been found out, it sounds like the type of organisation that would make trouble. You clearly dont enjoy your job and feel taken advantage of so I’d be looking for alternative employment. Given the constraints about going into the office, I wouldn’t jeopardise the one I have in the meantime though.

All that, plus the dogs barking made me think its made up rage bait

Well if the director was there then she was also taking the p a bit about lunch hours.

I know seniority often means more flexibility and maybe no one is checking up on her but I wouldn't have thought that it was OK for her either really.

I would do as others said, put an obvious end of day meeting in that takes you an hour after your finish time and go and speak to your manager and ask if you can do this class if you make up the hours

And stop doing errands out of the house when it's not lunchtime.

I wfh and I sometimes do a lunchtime class but it's only half an hour and if I need to go to Tesco I do it at lunchtime and just eat at my desk.

I mean of course you will be in trouble. You take at least 1hr 10 (assuming not getting changed twice so let's say 1hr 20) for a 30 min lunch. What part of that do you think is ok?

You are being unreasonable and taking the piss.

So far you have chosen to go to an exercise class during work time, you knew you wouldn't be back on time, have barking dogs in the background during meetings and pissed off to the supermarket.

Its not your decision to make if 30 minutes isn't a long enough lunch break and tbf, thats pretty standard every where I have worked

I would seriously have a rethink about how entitled your behaviour is and start making more of a commitment to your working day, or you run the risk of having to go back to the office...your dogs and school run aren't your employers concern and you would have noone to blame but yourself

I hope this thread isnt real? If it is then you are taking the piss. Your card will be marked now so i would be very careful from now on if I were you.

@WhosGotTheKeysToMyBimma the director doesn't work on Fridays.

The director was on an off day.

I think the issue is that OP was not open and transparent. When I worked and had an hours lunch I would use the gym near the office. If `i wanted to do a class, though it might take more than an hour (with the walk/changing), so I always agreed in advance with boss/team that if I wanted to x class twice a week, that I would have shortened lunch breaks during the week and check that colleagues were happy to cover the phones/boss wouldn’t need me - and made sure I reciprocated with colleagues by covering their phones/longer lunch breaks which they took for similar reasons.

I think it’s the lack of transparency and the likelihood that there was no ability to contact you or a proxy in place that is the issue. All the twaddle about work/life balance/personal well being is just guff. It’s nothing to do with your employer and entirely in your hands when you choose to take a job with set hours/short lunch breaks. You’ve been caught ‘teeming and lading’ without agreeing that this was acceptable. You should apologise and not do it again.

This conduct by so many people is why my DH has lost hybrid working benefits and now has to be in the office 5 days week, commuting 2hrs+ a day once more. It is also the reason why 20% of his company have been made redundant - because if management and clients cannot see you working, interact easily and quickly with a human being in a crisis or during core hours, then they may as well resort to AI. At least AI doesn’t need a lunch break.

This is the sort of behaviour that gives others who work from home a bad name.

You wouldn't have worried about it if you hadn't been caught out though so you're clearly not that arsed about what they think of you.

I think you are being unreasonable and you need to stick to your 30 mins every single day unless you live across the street from your supermarket