Was I unreasonable to go to Pilates in the middle of the day? Feel sick....

[SisterJude7]

I work from home and am allocated 30 minutes for lunch. I am chronically underpaid for my level of seniority (I manage a small team). In my view, it is inhumane to expect human beings to only take a mere 30 minutes to recuperate, although many of my colleagues relish missing their lunch breaks and wear their lack of lunch as a badge of honour. I admittedly sometimes go for a run, attend a gym class or run some errands before school pick up which is beneficial for my own wellbeing. No issues with my performance, I work my hours and I have finished late on numerous occasions anyway. The daytime classes tend to be cheaper and use less of my Class Pass points and besides, I have zero time in the evening.

Anyway, on Friday, I attended a 50 minute Pilates class. I don't usually pay much attention to the other attendees, but during the warm-up, I was absolutely blindsided to see a director on the carriage opposite (she has Fridays off). My stomach absolutely dropped-she definitely clocked me and looked stony-faced but briefly nodded. To make matters worse, the shock went straight to my bowels, so I needed to dash to the loo 😭😭. I had no choice but to complete the class which felt like the longest 50 minutes of my life with a churning stomach. She scuttled out at the end of the class.

Do you think I will be in trouble? I have spent all weekend ruminating. I don't want recent minor transgressions to be put under the microscope- I've been spoken to informally about my dogs barking in a client meeting and once I also forgot a teams meeting and popped to the supermarket. I don't want to be forced to go back to the London office as my dogs have separation anxiety and I need to be around to pick up my DCs. Should I say something and get in there first? My DH thinks I am overreacting, it will be fine and that I should just buy a mouse jiggler from Amazon which I don't agree with.

I also forgot a teams meeting and popped to the supermarket

Out of your very long post this ^ is the key point. You skipping out work to do your own thing is a pattern of behaviour. That’s what is going to get you into trouble.

Stop making excuses. If you are underpaid, leave. If you think 30 mins for lunch is too little, leave.

Your current activities might get you disciplined, or put on a PIP, a mouse jiggler will get you fired.

You have a 30 min lunch break and took over an hour to go to Pilates… come on.

I take a (very) long lunch break on Fridays for a longstanding commitment, I log on at 7:45 to account for it. Which is agreed.

Oh and don’t buy a mouse jigger these things can be detected, we had someone who did similar and got caught and was dismissed

Sounds like she's doing this sort of thing most days not just on a Friday, that just happens to be the day she was clocked!

So you get a 30 minute lunch break and you decided to do 20 minutes of walking, 50 minutes of Pilates and surely at least 5/10 mins of changing or faffing? Yeah I'd say you should be in trouble for that.

Also, school runs are good for your mental health? You're a joker 🤣

So you took an hour and 10 mins for lunch instead of 30 mins, without asking or recording it anywhere?

We have flexi time and so it would be fine to do this as long as we record it correctly. But if you don’t have a similar system, then you could be in trouble.

As previously advised, I’d definitely put it in your work calendar, with another slot marked at the end of the day to show you’re making up the 40 mins (so if your normal finish is 5pm put in a “meeting”, with status as Free, from 5 to 5.40pm saying something like “make up time for long lunch”.

You could also speak to your immediate boss and say you’ve tried out a lunchtime class and really liked it. Would it be ok to attend the class and make up the hours. If you do that soon, it might all be agreed before the Director mentions seeing you.

If the wfh arrangement is so important to you because of long commute/anxious dogs, then I really wouldn’t be pushing your luck with supermarkets trips and Pilates during working hours. It costs your boss nothing to insist on office attendance but it could cost you an awful lot.

I sometimes pair socks or fold laundry while I am on a meeting and wfh. Gives me something to do with my hands while I’m listening. But going out to run errands and attend Pilates classes is pushing it too far for me to risk my reputation and/or my job!

I think it could be problematic, yes. You should ask for flexible working to have longer lunches on the days you want to go to class. Otherwise you should do the job you’re paid to do. Also confused about your hours if you do the school run ‘and’ chores ‘and’ exercise ‘and’ work full time?

My workplace is not pedantic about working hours. I WFH one day a week and do flex my hours to give time to do a few loads of laundry and maybe run to the post office or similar. But your workplace has set breaks and you are ignoring them, that’s very different.

If you are confident that you work more than your contracted hours, say just that:

“last week I worked 42 hours. Started at 7 am Tuesday and finished 8pm Thursday to meet client needs. There was nothing in my diary Friday lunchtime so I took the opportunity to do an exercise class that I had missed due to my late finish”.

Then your manager can make a decision as to whether they are happy with that flexibility or they prefer you to stick rigidly to your contracted hours.

In my team that would not raise an eyebrow, unless you’re card was already marked. Which might be your issue.

If you were to tell your boss the truth, would you be in trouble?
If the answer is yes then what you're doing doesn't fly and you're taking the piss. If the answer is no then you're fine.

In my old job they would have been fine with it as long as I was honest, not so much in my new job

Look for a new job as that place sounds controlling and crap if they underpay anyway

I’ve never worked anywhere the past 10 years that I haven’t been able to just manage my own time

I got o hour long gym classes daily even if I’m in the office - no is cares that I’m gone 1hour 15 - cus it’s 15 fucking minutes !

some days I work later or through lunch and other days I finish up at home

nobody checks anyone’s actual working hours cus it doesn’t matter once the work is getting done

I would be too scared to use a mouse jiggler, I don't think my DH understands as he can take however long he chooses for lunch and nobody questions him!

Yes, you are massively unreasonable and a cheeky piss taker as well. When you accepted your job you choose to do it with the pay and break times.

Also thinking that a 30 minute lunch break is “inhumane” is fucking laughable, you are what is becoming a problem with people who WFH.

I hope your Director pulls you up on your choice to skive off work.

You are taking the piss. This would be considered gross misconduct by my employer.

Christ, how do people live like this. What is your job, do you get the work done? I work from home and go out to exercise, errands, school run whenever I want. I just make sure I can attend any scheduled meetings and that I get the actual work done by the deadline. Anything else seems like ridiculous infantilisation to me.

I like your sassy style. I'm sure you will be fine and you have had time you prepare any response. Have you sorted out the dog barking with a silencer when you're online?

Yes I think you'll be in trouble. I don't know how much though, it depends on your work's policies.

You need to look for another job with the flexibility you want rather than just doing what you want in your inflexible job and hoping you don't get caught.

It's totally unacceptable what you're doing and you already know this. You can't decide to cheat your working hours because you consider you're underpaid. You're probably not underpaid because you are cheating your employer. I wouldn't worry about the one pilates class. If they take a look at your activity, they'll know you aren't doing your job.

OP I'm a teacher and if I have a duty day, I get 20 mins lunch break. I don't swan off to pilâtes to avoid it.

FAFO.

Put noise suppression on within Teams settings to mute the dogs barking.

Mine often bark right next to me, & no-one on a call can hear them.

Because she works from home.

Well you’ve made yourself high profile. You’ve been spoken to already about wfh and your dogs, you have taken a 1 hour 10 minute break minimum when you get 30 minutes. Who does school pick up? What time are you using to complete this?

if you value wfh I’d start working to the rules you’ve been given or come to an arrangement with your line manager about hours.

were this my staff I have no issue if they talk to me, I’m really easy, but I don’t like not being aware when you assume they are at their desk

YABU as this is the kind of reason people can argue against WFH.

A previous employer, 33 odd years ago so very unusual back then introduced flexible working in one of the depts on campus. The University awaited to see how it went, the system was openly exploited so it was not introduced. The few spoilt it for the many.

Unless it negatively impacts your customers or colleagues couldn’t you just ask to take a longer lunch on a Friday and start earlier or later? I manage a team of 9 and would be happy for my team to do this if they asked.

so you took at least an hour and 10 minutes for lunch when you’re only allowed 30?

I doubt you’ll get into serious trouble. But I’d have my story straight just in case- like you’ve had terrible back ache and this was the only class you could get in to, you knew it would help and you made the hours up after work that day.

That said I also agree, if your contract says 30 mins and that’s what others get you need to stick to it, unless you’ve officially negotiated a change (like flexible working, or TOIL for overtime) and had this recorded in writing. Everything else is irrelevant, like the pay and your seniority. If you don’t like the job/ conditions then you need to leave or negotiate a better deal if they want you to stay.

If the class was 50 mins and it’s a 10 minute walk, then you’ve spent 1 hour 10 just on the class. And I would assume you then had to grab something to eat and eat it once you got back. I do think this starts to take the mickey a bit. And surely you can find a class outside of work hours?

So you have set working hours and a half an hour lunch break but you went out fir at least an hour and a half.

Sorry you are being unreasonable.