To think people only want the best then complain about cost and stress

[Ohhhhok]

This does not apply to people living in poverty, in unsuitable accommodation, struggling to find work and to make ends meet whatsoever.

I feel like many people will not settle for anything less than the dream lifestyle- large house in a desirable area with fancy interiors and expensive appliances, nice garden, cleaner, new cars, high-end clothing and make-up, expensive restaurants and luxury holidays, and so on.

Then they complain about the cost of their mortgage, the stressful job where they work 60 hours a week with all the responsibility and the 2k a month childcare bill.

It seems like nobody is willing to settle for less, it's like you've got to have the above to have 'made it' in life- they wouldn't be seen dead with an older car, a terraced house or shock horror, a flat. Second hand clothing, living a simpler life.

@DeftGoldHedgehog but I don’t think an occasional matcha is to blame. We’ll obviously have to disagree.

I do agree that a university education is a luxury compared to the 80s.

And whilst this may be true. It certainly was not my parents or in laws experience which are both boomers. They had a very comfortable life with 3 kids and holidays abroad and new cars. My in laws aren’t even university educated, and had that life with one parent working. Which is now very difficult to achieve!

@Rockpunkdisco the waste is terrible. People buying ‘stuff’ they don’t need & wouldn’t want had they not seen it on insta. I think social media has had a much bigger impact on the world than I ever expected it to.

@Yogafiend maybe you lived in a prosperous area. I was in a working class & in some parts deprived town. We didn’t have those things. Maybe it’s more of a regional issue than generational.

I would hope that's not true! People need to be planning better and not having kids whilst one partner is on £25k and the other is sat not earning. We shouldn't be giving anyone a large luxury of an extra £75k a year as a gift! Why does a couple need a joint income of 100k for barely bothering to earn anything! It's a bloody insult!

as I said my in laws aren’t even university educated, my mother-in-law worked as a teller in a bank and their parents were working class. My mum was a nurse (back in the day where you didn’t have to go to uni) so our background was definitely working class. We don’t class ourselves as working class now as that feels disingenuous but that is definitely our background

The only people I see like that are on MN crying that their 8k a month joint income is poverty!
However I do have a bugbear with young people that whine about wanting to get on a property but think they should be able to have a first house that that's immaculate, detached new build in a sought after area or a 3 storey beautiful Victorian terrace in a nice suburb of Manchester etc and these types of house are several hundred thousand pounds! They feel hard done to if they can't jump on the property near the top alongside people who've paid mortgages for many years to get to that point and started with modest homes in cheaper areas and doing dated houses up!
It's like there's been another thread from a mother whose daughter hates being in house share but won't get on the property ladder because she won't have as much money left a month - that's part of life, you don't stay skint forever once you get promotions and get up the property ladder. I can see a lot of young people reaching retirement and being annoyed when their finances are a lot more poorer than they would have been if they had a nice paid for home at their disposal.

Don't read anything into Mumsnet anecdata.

Absolutely! Our previous home was also a 3 bed, but in London. The council tax was around half for a property of similar size and value.

Totally agree. I'm perfectly happy in our three bed bungalow that needed a bit of work and our secondhand car in the drive because I like being able to get my hair done, go out for dinners and drink nice coffee and wine.

It’s crazy
i wonder if it’s on the agenda to be reviewed/changed?

Don’t people get 30 free hours of childcare if working? My daughter is a teacher and she does for her 1 year old

£100k after tax/NI would be £5713/month

A family of 4 with 1 adult earning £25k a year could get in benefits, in addition to their earnings:

£25k after tax/NI £1793
Universal Credit (including rent, carer & disabled child elements) £2145
Child benefit £195
DLA for 1 child (middle rates) £464
Adult PIP (middle rates) £463
Council tax support £53
Funded childcare (15 hrs/week for 2 year olds) £423
Free school meals (1 child) £42
Total £5578/month

So am I being ridiculous?

30 hours a week, term time only. It's still expensive if you need a full time, year round space.

The vast majority of money was spent on prep. Filling cracks and dents in the wall, one wall needed skimming, we stripped the carpets and sanded original floors (cost of machine rental plus sundries for two rooms was nearly £400 but the floors never need to be redone again), one of the boards needed replacing. Then gaps re-filled. Floors waxed. Wardrobes fitted (here were none previously so this alone cost me £600). Skirting boards and architraves were in bad nick and needed restoring so nearly £60 worth of wood filler. Every wall needed sanding as previous painters left brush marks everywhere and then dusted so £20 was spent on a box of tack clothes which would hopefully last a few more projects. Endless rolls of sandpaper and masking tape (probably in excess of £100). New light switch and sockets as, again, previous painters just splashed paint everywhere and it would take more effort to clean them than to replace them. Caulking, paint rollers and brushes, solvents... the cost really mount up even when we try to salvage as much of the old fittings as we can.

Do you mean F & B paint not F & F? Don’t think Tesco do paint 😉 that In itself is a prime example of being able to say I have F & B paint which to be honest no one would know looking at it and I was speaking to a paint expert in a large diy store who when mixing me some home brand paint was saying how it is all about the name and the high end paints are no better and that dulux is the worst one of all!

my DH and I have been together for 32 years. He will be 65 next month. He was a factory worker when we met, I had 2 small children. In his early 40’s due to many steps taken starting as a night course once a week he studied hard and became a Dr. We are now 18 years on, he still works full time and our income has increased hugely, however we are in same house despite many people questioning why we haven’t “upgraded” we have enough room, we have nice holidays, 2 decent cars though one is 13 years old. BUT we don’t worry about paying bills and can enjoy life and after many years of struggling in the beginning of our relationship we appreciate this so much and obviously retirement is on the horizon now. We could go for the huge house in the upmarket area of town which I think due to his position professionally people expect us to live in but are happy to not worry and to stay where we have always been

On one thread / why aren’t people ambitious like me and on another why aren’t people just happy with a simpler life

MN summing things up - people are different

I think people can chase or even achieve their aspirations, and still object to overinflated childcare fees and increasing interest rates on their mortgage. Many were living within their means just a couple of years ago, but are now struggling to meet their financial obligations now because pretty much everything has become more expensive.

But this is a very unlikely situation considering you are talking about severely disabled adult and child in a household yet the other adult is working full time so who is looking after the disabled child yet still able to claim pip but can magically prove to pip they are capable off looking after a disabled child yet can't bath, leave the house unaided you are talking about 1% off benefit claimamts not the 99% which is what makes it ridiculous. Ive just seen you've put carers allowance too whos getting that because the healthy adult is working full time.

I can assure you there are a large number of people claiming PIP who also claim carers allowance for a child/ren who receive DLA

Off course you do i bet you also have seen you're neighbours bank statements and they get 100k a year in benefits and I bet there's nothing wrong with them and they go on 5 holidays a year and the mum walks around with her nails done all anti benefit posters on mumsnet have full access to their neighbours bank statements or medical records or claim to work with benefit claimamts.

Gap’s experience is similar to mine. My parents bought one house after they married and I lived there my entire life (until buying my own flat). My bedroom furniture had been my mums when she lived at home (so 50s-70s) and there was no expectation of changing it despite the fact it was terribly old fashioned!

I guess it depends on the community you were brought up in. Certainly my family wasn’t unusual although there were people who bought new clothes more frequently for example. I like the idea of stuff lasting and DS often teases me that some of my clothes are older than him (he’s 20).

I go to the theatre a lot and I get a bit sick of hearing people complain about how outrageously expensive it is. Always turns out they mean the £200 super premium seats in the stalls. When reminded they could buy £20 or £30 tickets in the balcony they are generally dismissive, couldn’t possibly sit anywhere but the most expensive seat. 🤷‍♀️

Well it is nice to properly see the show.