To think people only want the best then complain about cost and stress

[Ohhhhok]

This does not apply to people living in poverty, in unsuitable accommodation, struggling to find work and to make ends meet whatsoever.

I feel like many people will not settle for anything less than the dream lifestyle- large house in a desirable area with fancy interiors and expensive appliances, nice garden, cleaner, new cars, high-end clothing and make-up, expensive restaurants and luxury holidays, and so on.

Then they complain about the cost of their mortgage, the stressful job where they work 60 hours a week with all the responsibility and the 2k a month childcare bill.

It seems like nobody is willing to settle for less, it's like you've got to have the above to have 'made it' in life- they wouldn't be seen dead with an older car, a terraced house or shock horror, a flat. Second hand clothing, living a simpler life.

YABU. What's with all the 'be content with your lot' threads lately? It's all a bit four Yorkshiremen. Maybe people want a nice car, house, beautiful clothes and a stylish life. I sure do. That said, I also am childfree so I kind of agree with you that it's hard to have it all. I don't like it when people turn on the middle classes, though. We're already overtaxed, and it's frankly a bit of a joke.

Agree there is a lot of this, but sadly we have built a credit-based culture where it’s too easy for people.

We live in a small 2 bed terrace (2 adults and a child) though we have a household income of almost 100k. We wouldn’t feel comfortable stretching ourselves in case things change in future. Jobs don’t feel secure, and costs are only going up.

We know plenty of people who earn less or similar, and have large houses, two cars, and shop a lot. They either have family help or a lot of debt.

We know people who are so in debt they can’t get a mortgage, yet drive expensive leased cars, are online shopping every second of the day, and live on takeaways. It’s almost like they have a spending disease!

I was a child in the 70s. By the 90s when I was bringing up my children I agree it had changed. I suppose to me what happened in the 90s still feels like a new thing! 😂

In a way that is a luxury. Because you can safely drive a dodgy car knowing that if it breaks down you can fix or replace it quickly.

When the kids were small and I worked in a job that required me to use my car to visit people at home - I bought a brand new car on finance. Admittedly it was a Kia but it meant I knew what I needed to pay each month, and that covered everything under warranty with free servicing and no mot. I could not afford to drive a crap car with unscheduled payments for repairs and potential unreliability that would prevent me working.

I know what you’re trying to say. I had a household income of £45k pre-covid, changes to WFH allowed us to gain promotions and our household income increased to £100k.

We looked at new houses, the increase in our disposable income was huge (comparatively) and we could afford a much bigger house…then I realised that there was no point in getting a better and bigger house. We have more than enough space in a 3 bed detached (it is extended downstairs so lots of space) so why give ourselves huge bills. We have just one car between us.

Now I have tonnes of spare money every month and we are constantly taking holidays (including an annual WDW 3 weeker) and I never worry about money. If I had got bigger home and trebled our mortgage I would be back to being close to the breadline. Because I didn’t go chasing more more more, I have such a relaxed life, and I can even cover my son’s uni bills.

Those who complain about costs even though they have more far more income than I do will 💯 be paying more than they need on their property, some will be paying private school fees, multiple cars…if you want EVERYTHING then you will be back living paycheque to paycheque as though you were in a low income role.

This is not my experience of growing up in the 80s and 90s. I hardly know anyone who lived in the same house their whole lives, and plenty of my friends had loads more stuff than we did. It isn’t materialistic to replace a carpet, they aren’t designed to last forever.

There are people like that, but there are many who choose to have the older car, fewer fancy holidays and clothes etc. And there's always people on here saying how they choose to have a lower salary/work pt so they get more time with their kids, so it's definitely not everyone.

Don't be ridiculous. How much do you think benefits are?

I don't know anyone like that. Houses are expensive and overpriced so people do tend to have large mortgages even for quite modest homes as new homeowners unless they have family money.

Yes see it on here all the time. People saying they earn 100k and it goes nowhere and it turns out they live in a massive house with two expensive cars, cleaner, kids activities etc. They chose all that and don’t want to cut any of it out.

I agree that responsibility for one’s own choices should be far more prevalent than it is.

I don't know about 100k but a couple of years ago I saw a friend's bank statements and she had a higher monthly income than I did l and was working part time in a low paid job and claiming various benefits for herself and her 3 children

My annual income was about 65k at the time

I mean if you have multiple severely disabled children and get housing benefit for somewhere like London then maybe but your average single parent on benefits who works a full time minimum wage job earning 25k which is what I wrote 99% won't be getting anywhere close to that.

A family with two DC who have disabilities, one parent earns 25k, one who is a carer, pay £1500 per month rent could end up with nearly 7k per month.

No severely disabled children and SE but not London

I have no idea about if you've just made these numbers up although I know carers allowance is ridiculously low I have no idea how much dla is. But its certainly not a life I'd be jealous of. I have all the sympathy in the world to anyone who has severely disabled children.

Which is under very specific circumstances including having high rent costs and two severely disabled children if we're talking about highest rates DLA.

I'm not sure why an extreme version is used as an example when the majority of people don't have two severely disabled children?

Well I don't think we can pretend that the same net income can simultaneously provide a life of luxury and a life on benefits.

It's this lie that leads to people feeling fed up.

I get less than 50% of any income I earn over 60k. That tax rate should apply to the truly wealthy not to people getting the same net income as a benefit claimant

(And I work despite lifelong disability so no I am not some privileged healthy person)

But what where saying is 99% of people on benefits aren't getting anywhere near 60k a year in benefits. I wish I was but its unfortunately not even close to the reality.

We're not pretending because it isn't the same. Having two severely disabled children is going to be expensive and is far from living a life of luxury.

It is also a very specific circumstance that doesn't apply to the majority of people who are on benefits.

And here we are again, 24/7 benefit bashing.

If you really want disabled kiddies you could always adopt a few.

God, the idea that a “dream lifestyle’ is a matter of appliances, cars, high-end makeup and luxury holidays is pretty depressing, isn’t it? I mean, that might be your ‘dream lifestyle’, but it certainly isn’t mine.

That’s great but a lot of people live in a 3 bed and don’t have all the spare money each month. And can’t downsize any further as they need bedrooms for their kids.

That's nice but you already have the big detached house that OP thinks we shouldn't be chasing....