To think people only want the best then complain about cost and stress

[Ohhhhok]

This does not apply to people living in poverty, in unsuitable accommodation, struggling to find work and to make ends meet whatsoever.

I feel like many people will not settle for anything less than the dream lifestyle- large house in a desirable area with fancy interiors and expensive appliances, nice garden, cleaner, new cars, high-end clothing and make-up, expensive restaurants and luxury holidays, and so on.

Then they complain about the cost of their mortgage, the stressful job where they work 60 hours a week with all the responsibility and the 2k a month childcare bill.

It seems like nobody is willing to settle for less, it's like you've got to have the above to have 'made it' in life- they wouldn't be seen dead with an older car, a terraced house or shock horror, a flat. Second hand clothing, living a simpler life.

Totally agree, I know plenty of people like this, in debt up to their eyeballs

I think social media doesn't help, I have friends whose houses have their own Instagram page and their houses are very nice, they've clearly put thousands into doing them. But what's the point when you're working non-stop and don't even get to use it?

The cost of childcare is an abomination and different to the other stuff you’re talking about IMO

Definitely this. Childcare so a mum can maintain her career, pension etc, should not cost the earth.

If the govt wants mums to go to work, pay income tax, contribute to GDP, keep their skills current, save for pensions etc, I think they need to contribute more to the cost of child care or at least offer better tax breaks.

To be fair, "thousands" is nothing given how much building materials cost nowadays. I've just finished decorating a box room and apart from splashing out on 2 liters of F&F paint, there were no extravagant purchases. It still cost me nearly 2k and I did everything myself so no trade costs either.
Yes, I could live in a flat at a pinch but this would be a constant nightmare moving things about to accommodate living, working from home and running an art business which requires space for equipment, materials and workshop. Plus, I am not interested in flipping properties. I want to buy a house once and live in it until I have to move to a care facility or cemetery. Which, I appreciate, is unusual nowadays.
I have some expensive tech and appliances because, again, I want to buy it once and use it for decades rather than replace a cheap Chinese crap every two years. Same with clothes. I buy them infrequently but they are of a good quality rather than shedding £20 every few weeks for yet another shein haul which disintegrates in the washing machine.
I don't go to expensive restaurants or on luxury holidays. Some of my holidays do cost a lot of money but that's because they are linked to an activity which necessitates paying for local guides and specialist travel insurance.
More importantly, I don't know why this is anybody's business. I work and I earn my money. It is up to me how to spend it. Yes, sometimes I dare to complain about the cost of living or stress at work. And?

I haven’t come across this and plenty of people are settling for less as you call it.

Some people might be like this but it’s not fair to imply it’s everyone. Maybe it’s the people you know?

I live in a terraced house myself and my kids go to an ordinary school where I’ve not met many parents with the type of lifestyle you describe. The school has a food bank attached.

You’ve just summed up life for the majority of the population in that one sentence, and we can all say it’s everyone else but I think everyone has some aspects of this in their life

One of my son’s friends families falls into this catergory.
They look like they have it all but in reality they are struggling with such high outgoings! Their council tax alone is hundreds!!

People certainly seem to want more materially than I remember being the case a few decades ago. When I was a child, homes were for functionality and furniture for comfort and durability. My parents had the same bedroom furniture their entire lives, and I only remember one new carpet (same as the old one). I don't recall anyone climbing the property ladder either. You just lived in your house forever. Perhaps things were different for wealthier people though.

What do you suggest they do about the cost of childcare? Take their DC to work with them?

We would fall into a version of what you are talking about. I complain about the cost of our mortgage and my stressful job but I am aware I am choosing that version of life. If we had a crappy house, less space to live in or shitty holidays I would complain about those things too.

Can you explain your point about the cost of childcare…?

I don’t think many people can ‘settle for less’ by not working nowadays.

Yanbu. I have mum friends constantly complaining about money stressed but they drive cars that cost about 10x my little old banger

I dont know what they think I earn (possibly not helped by the fact I WFH so tend to do the school run in jeans and a hoody) but DH and I could easily buy cars like theirs we just don't see the need.

I just think people could settle for slightly smaller houses, older cars, second-hand items and so on but just won't, if they don't want to that's fine but then people shouldn't complain.

Complaining is quite common human behaviour. I think you may wish to settle for not having any friends and unsubscribing from social media. You chose to expose yourself to people and their lifestyles which is fine but then you shouldn't complain.

My dad always used to say “enough is always a little bit more than you have”.

I dont know which circles you move in but most people live in normal sized houses or flats. Most people work their bums off and have no choice but to "settle".
Is this hypothesis based on tiktok observations?

I have a 5 bed house with a nearly 2k mortgage. 2 brand new cars…bought outright. I’m not complaining though.

I think this is slightly unfair comparison. My grandparents also had the same furniture their entire lives; however, it was certainly not cheap. There was no such thing as cheap furniture when they were a young couple setting up their home. They paid ridiculous amount of money for well-built pieces which still looked stylish and functional 40 years later. In fact, my granny still has her original bed, wardrobes and bedside table which they bought in 1964.
Show me a sofa, bed or a wardrobe from IKEA or DFS which you think may stand the test of time. It doesn't exist. Which is why I live by what my parents always used to tell me: buy cheap - buy twice.
But according to the OP, I should settle for cheap MDF shite rather than pay good money for solid wood furniture which I literally never have to buy again in my lifetime because it will last.

I think a lot off people on here are like this. When you read posts about people struggling on 100k a year when plenty are managing just fine on a quarter off that then you find out they have cars on finance, high mortgages, kids in multiple clubs, £60 mobile phone contracts and how days out every weekend are expected.

Fair points. Though I was thinking more of attitudes to home, furnishing, decorating and so on. I remember a distinct shift in the 80s towards seeing these things more in terms of style/aesthetics and following trends, rather than just comfort and practicality. I grew up with sturdy brown carpets and furniture, and my dad repainted the woodchip magnolia when it started to look grubby, and it was pretty much the same in most homes I visited in the 70s.

How other people spend their money is none of my business.

I actually am very happy in my little flat, I don’t own a car, and still wear clothes I bought 15-20 years ago, but I’m not a smug dick about it.

Live and let live.

Families on £25k a year will be receiving benefits - housing, universal credit, child benefit, probably PIP/DLA etc which when added up can be equivalent to a single income household on £100k after tax.

Growing up in the 80s/90s most of my friends were moving house as their parents climbed the property ladder. Sometimes from a small terrace to a three bed semi /4 bed bed build, at other times eventually moving into really large houses (6+ bedrooms) with land. It's definitely not a new thing!