Working in cafes

[IsawwhatIsaw]

I went to a small independent cafe I like this morning.
The tables were pretty close together, we ended up sat next to a woman with a laptop and phone out and proceeded to have a chat and catch up. All whilst this woman was apparently scowling and grimacing at us. I couldn’t see her face as she was same side as me, but I heard the tutting.
I know there have been previous threads on this, but we weren’t noisy , and I won’t sit quietly to enable someone to sit and work.

What is your AIBU? Was it that you didn't challenge a grown woman tutting at you?

What makes you think she was tutting at you? I often tut at the work stuff while sitting alone in my house. Especially when I have 60 "daily digest" and "weekly update from CEO" emails landing in my box which I have neither signed up for no have any ability to unsubscribe from. There may have even been a few c-words flying around this morning as I was setting up my Outlook rules to send it all straight to junk.

And?

She wanted to go to the cafe to work, and you wanted to go for a catch up.
Neither of you are in the wrong here.
Although, I am curious as to how someone grimacing can ruin your day?

You sound paranoid I always tut and pull faces when im concentrating or stressing over something it most likely wasn't aimed at you unless you where obnoxiously loud

I hear you OP.
Other posters are being weird - am sure you can tell when someone is tutting at you!

Was the back of her head scowling and grimacing?

Someone sitting tutting at you while trying to use a cafe as an office is definitely the one in the wrong. If you want peace and quiet, go to the library.

Did OP die? No.

Noone said she did. Doesn't change the fact it's pretty rude to sit in a cafe tutting because people around you are talking. I don't care if it wasn't a life changing experience.

If you go to a cafe to work you expect the buzz - in fact for me it's half of the reason I go - to get a nice drink delivered to my table and be amongst other humans and not just on my tod in my office at home. That said I am sure I have tutted in public - more than once - at stupid work emails I have been reading!

Is that the benchmark for having a moan now - it's only permitted if something has resulted in your own demise?

It’s rude to try to work from cafes. She was being a dick - if indeed it was you she was tutting at.

I don't think seeing someone grimace at you is a benchmark either.

I think someone working in a cafe can't tut or grimace about people using cafes for normal social interactions. She needs to work at home if she can't cope with that.

It's worthy of a light moan.

Rude of her - jeez - too many laptops in cafes ruin the vibe imo. Tell her to go to the library/home is she wants silence.

I imagine the OP’s friend, who, it seems, was sitting across from the tutter, could see her face.

So challenge her, rather than seething silently and posting on the internet about it?

I think the point was I could hear the tutting but not see the apparently simultaneous scowling and grimacing which my friend felt was definitely directed at us. She didnt want to say anything, but I would have if I’d seen it.
and no, It wasn’t a life changing incident. But it changed a friendly catch up to a rather less pleasant outing

Oh not everyone can be bothered to challenge things, it's really very normal to just moan a bit later!

Why were you watching so intensely that you noticed 'scowling' & 'grimacing'. She might be scowling & grimacing at her work - I do that if I get an email from a certain colleague!!

I stick my headphones on anyway so not bothered by chatting - unless it's that awful loud laughter that some groups ow women have - but that winds me up everywhere.

The only thing that winds me up is one bloke who shuts himself in the only toilet cubicle every time he takes an important client call. Meaning there's often a queue formed by the time he gets out.

Does anyone actually audibly 'tut'?

Especially loud enough to be heard in a cafe 🤔

As I said, I couldn’t see the scowling and grimacing as I was sitting the same side as her. It was my friend who said it coincided with the tutting and felt it was definitely aimed at us - worse when we dared laugh

Oh yes definitely.