Am I being overprotective about my DS going on camp with cubs?

[Nordicdaydream]

My DS (8) has been offered a place on a cub’s camp for two nights at the beginning of December, which he’s excited about.
The only thing I’m really struggling with is the journey. They’re going on a Friday evening, so it will be dark, and it’s around two hours away, including motorway driving. They’ll be travelling in a minibus with one of the camp leaders driving.
I keep worrying about the possibility of them having a motorway accident, and the thought of something happening to my little boy is really frightening me. Especially as it’ll be dark and potentially foggy/bad weather conditions.

I know accidents can happen anywhere and that motorway journeys are a normal part of life, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about the journey and all the things that could go wrong.
I don’t want my anxiety to stop him from having exciting experiences and becoming more independent, especially if it’s something he’ll really enjoy. But equally, I’m finding it hard to feel comfortable with him being so far away from me.

Am I being unreasonable and overprotective, or is this a reasonable thing to worry about? Would you let your 8 year old go (he’s only just turned 8) and is there anything you’d want to check with the camp beforehand?

I’m genuinely interested in hearing from other parents, particularly those whose children have been on similar camps. Please be kind, as I know some of this is probably my anxiety talking.

It's normal to feel nervous about this OP, but please don't stop him from going.

I have read the positives and reassurances too. I appreciate those as well.
But of course I’m going to pick up on someone saying they wouldn’t allow their child to go.

I would have been nervous of my DD being away from home for 2 nights at that age, but I don't think it would have occurred to me to be worried about the drive specifically. Presumably there will be more than one adult with them, and whoever is driving is an experienced driver/ leader? If it really concerns you that much you could offer to drive him yourself. If you're extremely concerned you could even go and stay nearby. But if he wants to go, you shouldn't let your anxiety stop him.

It’s fine to be anxious. It’s not fine for it to stop your child experiencing things. Acknowledge the anxiety and accept you will likely spend the weekend dealing with it. But that’s your issue to manage, it shouldn’t impact on your son.

I run camps for similar-aged children (Brownies) and it’s such an empowering and important experience for many of them. They get so much of it.

This is a helpful response I think

Become a leader and go with

Because you want to convince yourself that your anxiety is justified.
You're seeking a reason not to send him so that you can calm your own worries, not because there is any realistic danger.

Your son wants to go.
It's you who doesn't want him to.

Please get some help for your anxiety because it's cruel to clip his wings because you can't cope.

But there has to be a first time. Cubs is the wrong thing to let him do if you don't want him away from you. If he continues, you do know there are internation scout jamborees that take them out of the UK? Is he your first child?

So most people who are worried about this are worried about their child not coping.

so what we did was have one night sleepovers with grandma and grandad first, and then some sleepovers at friends and with friends sleeping over with us.

when they were pretty solid with those my dd did a 2 day one night brownie camp and my DS did similar with cubs.

most people if anxious are not anxious about the journey. That’s an unusual thing to be anxious about.

There is no good reason for your son not to be able to go on road journeys at night because you are anxious about motorways in the dark. I really detest softboiled eggs but my DD eat them. The logic is the same.

There is no good reason for your son not to be able to go on road journeys at night because you are anxious about motorways in the dark. I really detest softboiled eggs but my DD eat them. The logic is the same.

If he wants to go, he should be allowed to. Has he not spent a night away from you, say with grandparents, before?

I wondered that too. There's time for a trial run, especially with half term coming up.

Yes he’s stayed at grandparents for one night.

And he’s been to a local camp for one night but his dad went to help, although they weren’t in the same sleeping space. He was in with the other boys.

And he is not ever likely to ever have this experience if you let your anxiety win. Is this what you want for your child?

Yes you’re being overly anxious

I am a worrier and sometimes get anxious about motorway drives, so I do sympathise, but I think it's really important that you let your son go if he wants to go. You could ask the leader whether they've driven the minibus before, explaining that you are a worrier and are just wanting a bit of reassurance. I think if the leader says they have no previous experience of driving a minibus then it is a legitimate concern that their first such drive will be on a motorway in the dark. I let DS go on a trip involving a 2 night stay away when he was in Beavers (so too young for Cubs). He also went on various cub camps.

Also my mum has the same fear as you - motorways, driving in the dark, driving unfamiliar roads it then expanded to be driving over bridges, driving in the rain, driving at all…

Shes in her 60s and her life has become smaller and smaller from it. She once stopped in the middle of the motorway because she froze in fear putting us all in danger.

Get some help. Before you end up trapped by it.

How did he cope?

Useful Intel could be gleaned from your DH/P. Was DS running back and forth to see DH during his time away?

Feel for you, ours were always local and we dropped off and collected

"runnerducky · Today 16:07
It’s fine to be anxious. It’s not fine for it to stop your child experiencing things. Acknowledge the anxiety and accept you will likely spend the weekend dealing with it. But that’s your issue to manage, it shouldn’t impact on your son.
I run camps for similar-aged children (Brownies) and it’s such an empowering and important experience for many of them. They get so much of it."

This with bells on (except that I don't personally run camps). 2 nights away with cubs at age 8 sounds like a brilliant introduction to staying away from home without you and his dad. UK roads are amongst the safest in the world. Don't shrink your son's world because of your own irrational fears.

How do you think he is going to 'get experience of it' if you don't let him ?

You say he's done a one night camp already, so surely this is the next step ?
How do any of us get to do anything if our parents don't let us do it the first time. It makes no sense.

One of my best memories of being in Brownies/Guides was the journeys to camps/trips. Not even the trips themselves but the actual journey on the coach, singing songs and laughing away. I can understand the worry but you're just as likely to be in an accident if you drove him yourself