MIL has sent us a Christmas schedule

[TheChristmasSchedule2026]

MIL has decided that ‘enough is enough’ and she wants a faaaamily Christmas.

We said yes we will try to visit on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day if she lets us know which she prefers. We have now been sent a schedule which stretches from the 23-27 December.
Im working on 23 the whole day and AM on 24th. She will apparently amend the schedule to reflect that and I won’t have any ‘duties’ on 24 (she had put me down as helping prep veg)

She thinks dh and the dc can just travel up and I can go straight from work on Christmas Eve.

We are seeing her this weekend so dh has said he will explain to her that we won’t be doing this as we have our own plans and reiterate that she can pick Christmas Eve or Boxing Day for a visit , if it’s Christmas Eve it will just be dh and the dc though (but I don’t think that will bother her it’s more dh and the dc she would want to see).

She is generally very controlling but this is more so than usual! I did say to dh just check first that she isn’t unwell or anything but otherwise AIBU to stick to just one day !

Because she doesn't want to.

Organising Christmas in October isn't all that odd, but being so prescriptive is definitely OTT.

Yeah get the bitch told. How dare she want to spend time with her family.

How dare she want to spend time with her family.

I don't think the OP has a problem spending time with her, its the 5-day plan that she's struggling with

Would like to hear the MIL side of this.

Yes, the idea of MIL graciously removing her duties when she's working suggests that all the others are still in place.

Last year we spent Christmas Day with friends and Boxing Day with ILs. Now, we love our friends, and the day was fantastic, but there's definitely a case for doing it differently because our friends are real foodies.

Every single item on the menu was agreed between us, with a fancy overdone recipes for everything. For us, with a young toddler (they have one too), we definitely would like a more casual roast and maybe canapes from the shop.

If you're invited for days' worth of similar, you can definitely see the downsides.

Hah! Look, I spend plenty of time with my parents and DP's parents, but noone is sending me a schedule or failing to ask my opinion on how I want to spend my Christmas.

Nothing wrong with wanting it. But have a discussion about works for all … don’t send a schedule.

That’s the spirit.

She should check first.. my mam does that too. Mary is around this week. No mam please check dont presume my days

He needs to tell her that will not be happening but also ask her if shes ok because this is out of character. And see what compromise there may be here.

No need to call the woman a bitch Mr misogynist.

WTF? OP isn’t being resistant? - they have offered to visit 24th or 26th! Being given a schedule for 23-27 December when you’re working and have other plans is mental.

What’s wrong with you?

Why are there so many mental replies on this thread 😅

They usually go away, so aren’t too bothered about OP’s schedule 🤣

indeed

Exactly my thoughts!

So who do you spend Christmas day with?

At home, just as a family. Its what we did (no kids and not by choice ) and what many families do especially when the chidren are smaller. We would give the dogs one good walk, come home, shower, then have bacon sandwiches champagne and gifts. Then we would phone both families to whsh them a merry christmas and just chill for the rest of the day. No driving, no schedules, no having to do stuff we'd rather not....it was sheer bliss.

Its the Be Kind brigade.

im a massive scheduler and would absolutely LOVE it if my partner’s mum would send me an Xmas schedule. I can just turn my brain off and chill out for a change! Happy days.

Did you read, and actually understand, the original post?

I may have misread the original post but I read that they would either go with Dad on one day as OP was at work or all go on 26th together. I agree a 5 day visit is too much.

Why the fuck would you have been ‘down’ to prep her veg if you hadn’t been working on Christmas Eve??