Am I miserable for not wanting to do secret santa at work?

[Nattyandcatty]

This will be my third year Christmas at this company and for the past two years, I have done secret Santa. I don’t want to do it this year, I find it pointless. It’s only £10 but it’s just the same crap every year. I don’t need another fluffy pair of socks or body wash gift set. I don’t know these people well enough to know what they’d really like, so all the gifts end up being generic or tat and I just can’t be bothered. We do have this online website where you can write a list of the things you like and create a wish list, but no one uses it. I just told my colleague that I don’t want to participate this year and she looked at me like I’d grown a second head and doesn’t understand why. She said she loves secret Santa but I’d just rather but presents for people that I choose. AIBU? Am I a Scrooge?

Oh wow, I have not seen notelets since 1989! 😆 I am sure they may exist, but I never see them.

I would of gone to Dougie's Caribbean cafe and got a stack of patties ! ( close to brooks bar) 😋

I like it, I don’t usually get a gift from anyone else and have no one to buy for.

I mean that is really silly, do the company not use an online generator thing? Then people can add their allergies, and if they drink or not.

I also absolutely loathe secret Santa at work. If it MUST be done then it should only be within a team. It's a bloody waste of time and money.

Also, there's always people who put in zero effort and people who put in loads. And they're always matched together 😂

There's so many other fun Christmas things to do.

I opted out, said I was trying not to contribute to excess and landfill.

I have opted out before, particularly when I didn’t like my colleagues 😂 there are other things I’d rather spend my money on. If people call you grinch or Scrooge, just tell them there’s no such thing as Santa 😂 (well maybe don’t, but just ignore them)

So potentially, it could be Secret Santa, money towards a gift for your manager and potentially a large amount of money towards a Christmas do? I'm not saying this is your situation Nattyandcatty.
But that is a lot at an already expensive time of year isn't it.

I hate it and am not doing it either. It’s always a waste of time, money and landfill space.

At a school where we did SS you could say if you wanted a specific thing like chocolate, bathbombs etc or a surprise.
I drew a woman who said surprise then when she opened it looked as if she'd opened a parcel of shite.

Don't ask for a surprise then

I voted YANBU but I mean for feeling like this.
However you’ve got to work with these people so I would suck it up, take part and get an Oscar for the best actress in the category of enjoying Secret Santa.
I have a similar dilemma spend ages picking out something for my SS person usually more than the £10 limit and last year got back a tiny. (very tiny) heart shaped candle and a small unbranded sachet (yes a sachet) of bath crystals. You’d have thought they’d given me a gold ingot as I looked so delighted! 🤣 I just moaned to H (a lot of whinging in fact) when I got home.

Our work does a thing instead where instead of a secret Santa, people buy a small gift to donate to a local children's charity. It's very much optional but you could suggest something like that.

I’m opting out, and I don’t care if people don’t like my decision. If others want to take part because they don't have family, that’s their choice, just as it’s my choice not to. I don’t care if that makes me sound like a Grinch, and I’m not interested in donating to charity that someone else has chosen as an alternative either. At the end of the day, the key is to stop worrying about what other people think and do what feels right for you.

I always opt out. I just tell them I hate it. Which is true.

Why lie?

I agree if the spend is so low that get pointless tat that you end up re-gifting or chucking away it's a waste of time. I have a loathing of pointless Christmas tat. I think you should up the amount to £20 and each person should provide a list of ideas for things they'd actually like and use. When someone pulls the name out of the hat it comes with the list. Much more sensible.

Hate it. Always opt out. Its a minefield.

I usually buy something sweary. Like a mug that says ‘my cat thinks you’re a c*nt’ with a picture of a cat on it. Usually goes down well 😆

Or to my colleague who loves Diet Coke, a sparkly print of a Diet Coke can but it said Diet C*nt’

YABU, sorry. It’s a bit of festive fun and a lighthearted way to share some fun at Christmas. Do you really find a pair of fluffy socks that aggravating?

Yeah I'm not doing it any more. I've always tried to choose nice things for other people but I've been given some right old shite at times. Can't be arsed with it. Nobody in my team seems to enjoy it much apart from the one person who organises it every year and the rest go along with it like sheep then grumble afterwards

Urgh I also don’t like these. In my house I have to do all the gifts from everyone to everyone (that includes grandparents to kids and vice versa). I’m like mother Christmas in Arthur Christmas when she hands the husband a gift and say “that one’s for me dear”

do I want to also sort a random gift for a colleague? No I do not.

I do participate but I feel it should always be optional so YANBU

Years ago, when I was at work, I refused to participate as I always felt stressed in buying the present and then receiving a rubbish present. Once I stopped doing it, a few people, the next year dropped out too. Don't feel you have to join in OP

Stick to your guns. Secret Santa's are shit.

Yanbu
I could do without spending money on shite no one really wants and I don’t need a £10 tat gift. It’s not mean. Money is genuinely tight for me. I buy the one colleague I’m close to a wee gift and she does same for me. I cba with the rest

Can you not encourage the wishlist - circulate it in an email?

We used it last year and it was fab. I got a book and reusable coffee cup. Obvs I read the book and I use the cup everyday.

I don't think YABU. I hate the absolute the landfill tat that SS produces.

Buying the good opinion of people you work with?! As a pp said, your work ethic should already get you this. I couldn’t give a shiny shit what people think of me, I know I do a bloody good job.

Fluffy socks-I don’t wear socks, have to wear my compression stockings every day.

Bottle of wine-I don’t drink (I do, but very specific wine, red, low alcohol)

Chocolates-don’t eat chocolate.

I did SS once, absolute generic shite. I got a mug that you could put letters on to spell your name. I’m not 4. Such a waste.