Selling inherited house when sibling living in it

[Dutchhouse14]

Our DM passed away a few months ago and her will divides everything equally between me and my 2 siblings.
Im the sole executor.
Dsis ,mid 50s, has always lived at home, never moved out. Towards the end of mums life she became her carer.
She works limited hours although she has increased these with overtime since mum passed away but full time contracts are non existent in her sector.
Shes used to pay a small amount of housekeeping but this stopped when she was made redundant from full time work about 10 years ago.
DMs house is in a bad state of repair, none of us can afford to maintain it . Me and my other sibling want to sell.
But DSis is resisting ,not replying to texts, avoiding phones calls, went out when estates agents came round for valuations etc
She has limited income and savings but could get a small mortgage and with proceeds of sale she could get a 1 bed flat.
My other sibling agrees we need to sell but doesn't want to upset dsis and is generally very good at avoidance! They are happy to give Dsis a much bigger share ie 50% I would prefer 40% which i think is realistic for dsis to buy somewhere.
So ive become the wicked witch of the West in Dsis eyes and shes taking it all out on me, well basically stopped talking to me.
WIBU to put the house on the market?
Probate has been granted.
Anyone know what the legal situation is?
I dont want to fall out with Dsis, I love her, but she seems filled with resentment for me and frankly has said some very hurtful things.
Ive always been there for her but shes never ever reciprocated or supported me when ive needed it.
Although I live with DH and DC, the money would really help my future, my pension etc and I dont want to give my share to Dsis, which is what I think she really wants as shes used to being in charge of DMs money , always lived here so I think basically considers everything as hers.
Just dont know how to move things forward or if im being unreasonable selling the house and wanting my share

complete conjecture on your part. as I said one option is to come up with a sensible plan for the way forward.

slagging off your grieving sister with randoms on the internet probably not gonna help

yes I am

So what happens if the house needs a new roof, or a new boiler? Are the OP and her non resident sister expected to pay for it? The resident sister has a very limited income and the house is already in disrepair. Are they expected to pay for bills and other ongoing costs? There is a real risk it could end up costing the OP money. If the resident sister was on top of the maintenance and could afford the council tax, gas, electricity, etc. on her own then fair enough, she could possibly let her stay for a year or two, but the sister clearly can’t cope with the house and can’t afford it on her own, and it’s not in her best interest to let her remain there.

This - unless of course your mum was able to live independently.

If your sister could get a small mortgage for 1/3 of the sale price, could your sister buy you out?

I’m not sure anyone can say for sure whether you are reasonable or not based on the information in the op

Factors include whether the sister has grounds to dispute the will based on lack of reasonable financial provisions.

Also if the by providing care has this saved the estate ££££££ over the years at the cost of the sister’s own dwindling income. Of course that would be balanced against the savings the sister has made in her own housing costs over the years.

The op also mentioned the other sister has suggested giving the sister 50 percent. This would reduce ops share from 33 to 25 percent. Only Op will know how much this is likely to equate to in monetary terms, and whether an argument over that sum is worth a permanent family bust up.

Some of the replies on this are bloody awful. I'd never go to court to evict my own sister under these circumstances.

So sorry for the loss of your mum and that you and all of your siblings are in such a stressful situation. However, I doubt that your sister would be granted a first time buyer mortgage in her mid fifties with limited savings and precarious earnings even if she did provide a good deposit. Most social housing for the elderly accept people over 55, either Local authority, Anchor or Giinness, and it sounds like this would be the best idea for her, as she would not have to pay a large amount of rent or bills and there would be others like her she could make friends with. I am sure your sister feels slightly entitled as she has been your mothers main carer, but in reality she herself has benefitted from low cost accommodation for years. Legally, you may be treading on dangerous ground, I doubt your sister will be forced to sell, given the number of years she has lived there, plus caring for her mother, she may well have residency rights. I have some friends whose aunt left them shares in her property when she died alongside her two daughters, but the youngest daughter who has lived there all her life refuses to move and seems to have obtained the right to stay there.

Whilst this may be true, it can also simultaneously be true that if she wasn’t living with DM, DM would have had to go into a home plus all the precursor of getting frailer and needing/expecting more care from adults with busy working lives.

OP was spared all that. Old people notoriously underestimate the amount of care they are getting from relatives and DM should perhaps have changed her will to reflect her DDs input. I have seen how fast care home fees drain away any savings. DPs costs £1900 per week each but priceless for getting my life back.

Why should OP do this? One sibling has sponged off their parent their whole life and is now trying to bully their siblings into giving them the whole inheritance. You are saying they should now be rewarded by being given a house? In what world is that right or fair?

I’m assuming there is a reason DM chose the OP to be executor and not one of the other siblings, also a bit shit to then leave her with this problem to sort.

How come none of this was discussed before your mum passed away? Was everyone just burying their heads in the sand hoping it would go away? I do agree with PPs who mention the care costs your sister has likely saved the family though. I would try to quantify that and give that cost to your sister from the estate.

Surely the sister living in the house knew that this day would come

Ive just finished work and seen all the comments, will read them all.
To answer a few recurring points-Dsis has always lived with our parents, she was mums carer for the last 5 years ,which was difficult .But Dsis didn't want DM to go into a care home,although she did tell me at one point if money was no object she would have preferred that. So I think understandably it was not completely altruistic, she was also thinking of her housing situation. Having said that she did really love and care for mum and her life was centred around DMs care for the last 5 years .
When occupational health recommended carers 3 times a day Dsis refused, not wanting to use DMs money and perhaps also have the intrusion. So we only had carers in once a day and Dsis did the rest with me and DB helping when we could, but obviously she did the lions share. She also refused my suggestion for mum to go into a care home for respite so she could go on holiday, again she didnt want to spend DMs money or trust anyone else to look after DM. I used annual leave to stay at DMs so Dsis could go away on a few mid week breaks and also days out.
DB and Dsis didnt want to investigate nhs continuing health care when it became apparent we would need to pay for help and advice to do this. ( nhs staff advised us to get professional help to put a case together)
Dsis will have enough money to buy a 1 bed flat but she will need to get a small 30 -40kish mortgage and use her savings as well.
Both mine and DHs jobs are not particularly secure and we have 3DC living at home so tbh my share would really help us out.
Im a bit cross with DB who always puts his head in the sand and is leaving all the difficult conversations with me and , probably through guilt or to appease Dsis has said that she may need 50% share.
Dsis probably isn't keen on using her savings or getting a mortgage so I think if DB offers more she will just keep her savings ( i don't have any savings!) or get a smaller mortgage. Im happy to ensure she has enough to buy a small flat but I need to make sure shes willing to put her own money towards it and not just use mine and DBs share.
Im a bit worried about the legal situation.,as she hasi always lived with our parents and contributed minimally. the house is valued at 280k so we aren't talking a big estate in the grand scheme of things, and legal costs would mean everyone is poorer, and more importantly destroy relationships. Its obviously a huge change for Dsis and im trying to be sensitive but I thought I really need to start tackling the situation and not just ignoring it , cant decide if better to give Dsis more time to grieve, it been 4 months, or to push ahead

Your mother could have chosen to leave the whole house to your sister, or could have split it equally but included a clause that your sister had the right to live there for x months or indefinitely or whatever. She chose not to. So your mother obviously expected that this would happen at some point.

Question is, what do you mean by push ahead - any effort to sell it is going to fail based on her occupation, unless someone is prepared to take that on at a hugely knocked down price.

The alternative is to take it to court, the court could well grant her leave to remain as it has to consider her needs, that has the potential to either completely remove your claim to a third or at least kick the possibility of getting that years down the line.

She has likely a good case under the 1975 act or an Estoppel case, both of which could leave you all with nothing.

Given she provided care, she has potentially a strong case for estoppel if she can satisfy the court as to a promise and her detriment, that could ultimately land her with the house, but a big legal bill too.

You need a solicitors advice, and they will advise if at all possible to reach a settlement.

That cost, in real terms would hand her the house, and if she claimed the mother gave her a verbal assurance and demonstrates detriment that's what could happen - my cousin managed it in similar circumstances, was granted right to reside for life, his brother owns half the house, but can't sell it or charge rent, its in limbo.

The house is valued at 280k so we aren't talking a big estate in the grand scheme of things, and legal costs would mean everyone is poorer, and more importantly destroy relationships

Trouble is, @Dutchhouse14, unless you're prepared to roll over completely, the guidance legal professionals can give may be your only way of not destroying relationships

I see, though, that your sister did the caring for 5 years, which is a lot longer than it sounded in your first post, so while I get that she herself resisted money beiong spent on carers it might be appropriate to consider what her role saved the family in £££ terms

Having read your update, if what you’re saying your sister has kept your mum out of a care home for 5 years then I would be more sympathetic towards her. Simply put after 5 years there would be no house for any of you to be discussing. The house would have been sold and the money disappeared long ago.

I’m not so sure giving your sister a 50 percent split is such an unfair split under the circumstances. It’s about £20k less for you, but still gives you £70k more than had your sister not lived at home all those years.

Good luck whatever you decide to do

I’ve not voted as I can see both sides but if your sister has lived in the home her whole life and did so much caring for your mother is it right to kick her out now?
You really need to have a discussion with her and work out a way of moving forwards, she needs to understand the difference the money will make to you and you need to appreciate it is the only home she has ever known and the selflessness of her preventing your dm entering a care home. They are not happy places and your dm was very lucky to be cared for by a loved one.

Although your sister has spent the last 5 years caring for your mum, what about all the years before that? Surely in all those years she could have saved enough to buy a flat outright. Most people are struggling to pay hefty mortgages and utilities and have all the worry that goes with that.

What did she do in the 5 years between being made redundant and then caring for your mum?

Your mum wrote the will expecting that she would get a third and therefore believed that would be enough to set her up. Maybe she noticed that she freeloaded all her life and wanted you to have your third .

I would trust your mums logic and respect her wishes

She clearly stopped your mum accessing full care due to financial reasons. Her being a carer wasn’t altruism. Go ahead and give her notice.

Did you have POA in place?

If your mum passed away four months, then tell her you plan to put the house up for sale in January, and between now and then, you will be preparing it further sale Ed weeding and tidying the garden, (I know you said you can’t afford to maintain it, but I’m sure there’s minor things you can do).