Is it unreasonable to never want a relationship again?

[Davegrohlsnewwife]

I don't know if this is a common theme on here as I don't visit a lot, but I am absolutely done with the idea of relationships. I am late 40's, slightly chubby but not awful looking. I am reasonably intelligent and do have a sense of humour. But increasingly I cannot be arsed with men. I have male friends and family, and that's great - but I even find myself feeling for their partners. There's the weaponised incompetence, unreasonable expectations of looks and weight, lack of understanding of menopause, leaving women to do everything in the home, look after kids, have a career and carry the mental load etc etc.

My family worry about me growing old on my own, but I have a great group of single friends, and we all look out for each other. I have been so let down in the past, and I know that's down to my choice in men, but they never started out awful, just that over time their true colours came out. Twenty odd years ago we weren't as aware of what red flags were - well at least I wasn't.

I've reached an age where I have older kids now, I have done the working shit jobs to pay the rent, and struggled my way through, I just want an easy life now. Prospective men tend to seem quite entitled and their idea of a "joke" is to put you down somehow. They have ongoing drama with exes, overbearing mils, kids they seem to begrudge supporting, and an inability to actually make any decent time for you. I watch some of my friends experiences of dating, and I wonder why they are bothering.

I know there are some decent blokes out there, but they are rare like unicorn pooh, and I don't hate men, I know lots of lovely fellas, but they're either married or related.

I love my independence, but I get annoyed when I get the sad head tilt from people when they hear I am single, like the only goal worth having is a man. I'm not looking or entertaining any idea of a relationship, but a lot of people I know think I'm weird or a closet lesbian. I just want my pj's on by 7pm and to watch crime documentaries to my hearts content. Is this being unreasonable?

I'm 48 and quite happily single with my cats, pjs and crap reality tv as well as crime documentaries!
Throw in a cheeseboard and the odd margarita and I'm quite content 👌

How on earth could anyone think this is unreasonable? It's your life, nobody else's.

I wouldn't mind a male friend that could be a plus one or to go on outings with etc.

But I have zero interest in sex. Sadly most men of my age (60s) would still want it so a relationship woukd be a definite no from me.

My oldest friend is single and part of a big circle of women friends in their 50s, 60s and 70s. They are as tight knit a group as you can imagine, go on holidays together, have all sorts of fun and adventures, help out if there's any kind of crisis, look after each others dogs when they go away and meet for a walk and a sociable lunch every Sunday.

They're all happy as clams. None of them have any interest in another relationship. My friend says the only reason she'd want a man is for sex and ithat doesn't interest her any more (and certainly wouldn't be worth the hassle or waxing).

I married a unicorn. If anything happens to my DH I won't bother again. After 40 years I've never met another man I could tolerate. They get no head tilt from me.

This line from @DontBotherJustChooseYourself

It's always, always a decline in general life satisfaction.

I really, really, really think blokes just have no concept of how little they bring to the table. I'd like to think it's mostly men of a certain age, but I don't actually think it is.

They need to evolve a bit. Because a good 80% of them just aren't fit for purpose. And those blokes in that 80% that are lucky enough to be married need to fucking cherish their wives. Because given the rate at which women are just swearing off relationships, the chances of those men finding a replacement to tolerate their shit is low.

I spent the best years of my life with deeply unsatisfying men. Selfish. Obsessed with their penis'. Lazy. Judgemental. Never again. Not even for mind blowing sex. I'd rather use a vibrator.

I know so many seriously competent, amazing women who have lovely homes, are divorced single parents, happy children, great social lives. The men they left behind just aren't their equals. I do also know some really lovely blokes who do their share of child raising, housework, mental load as well as working and appreciating their partners. But they're all married or in LTR BECAUSE they're great catches.

I love my husband and if anything happened to him, I'd be devastated.
But I know with complete certainty, I would not be interested in having another relationship if this one ended.

Same here.

Too many degenerate men out there. Plus post-menopause I have very little tolerance even for the good eggs (and unmitigated rage about the other type).

I've just turned 46, separated from ex-h 11 years ago, divorced 6 years ago. No one else, no dating, no ONS, no FWB's, nothing. Just me, my kids (now late teens), my dog & my terrible health!!! Lol could I be happier? Maybe, but I seriously CBA with apps & coffees & endless texting. Give me Minecraft & an early night any day

I think so too!

I love this! I’ve been single for 10 years after a 15 year marriage. I also get the pitying- Don’t worry , I’m sure you’ll find someone ‘ from people.
I really like it being me and the dc . I intend to replace them with a couple of golden retrievers when they leave home. I’m financially secure and love my own quiet space.
I like men and lots of my friends husbands are great. I also have male friends through my hobby. I just don’t want one in my house again. It’s good to hear I’m one of many who feel this!

I loved the 'limp dick' bit. So true but they are just as relentless in pursuing women for sex. I used to work in a GP surgery and the number of 80 plus men with horrible chronic medical conditions who want referrals to impotency clinics is unbelievable. Do they ever give up?

I’m married but if we were to split, I would definitely not get into another relationship. I’ve always been independent, with my own money and a great career, so being single isn’t a “fear of mine”.

I would also buy a commune with my other single female friends, or spend a lot of time on cruises.

The thought of dating and weeding out the sheer amount of men who hate women genuinely terrifies me.

Same here. In my mid 40s now, been separated/divorced for 5 years, me and DC are doing fine, career is going well, have a comfortable home. Yes I regret my marriage ending but now learned that it is what it is.

I don't want a relationship or marriage again, I want a life filled with good times and happiness. For me right now that's a life without a partner, don't even get me started on the thought of dating. I couldn't think of any worse use of my time.

I decided long ago that if anything happened to DH I would never want to be in another relationship, ever! Too much like hard work, and I am far too selfish. I love my own company, my books and my own favourite tv programmes

Wow 97% - the meme is true ‘If women don’t lower their standards soon, they’ll die alone in their clean homes, with their regulated nervous systems, good friends, great food, peace, and no angry men’ 😂 I love it!

I am 59 and I separated from my husband almost two years ago. I am just having the best time. I realise now just how much of a fucking energy drain my marriage was! There was no space for me to grow, enjoy, create, experience, laugh or meet new and interesting people because I was so busy trying to manage someone else’s expectations and life.

Never, ever again!