DH Thinks Shane Gillis is Great

[Delphinium20]

We watched SNL and DH kept laughing and I didn’t really get the jokes, but then it came to the infamous “why are all women dressed like whores at the gym” and I was disgusted. DH laughed at it but saw my face and tried to pretend like it wasn’t that funny.

we talked a bit and it turns out DH loves this comedian and can’t stop defending him.

FWIW, I have laughed my head off to many edgy comedians like Dave Chappelle and Ricky Gervais. Somehow, this Gillis guy seems really off (and not terribly clever). DH’s defense is giving me the ick. We just started a week away trip that is supposed to be romantic and all I want to do is be far away from him.

Apart from the rampant misogyny, it's objectively and genuinely not funny. I watched it to see what people might laugh at, in that shock horror method that some comedians use. He says not one funny thing.

I get the impression that sexist language or referring to women as whores etc is more acceptable in the USA than here.

I'm struggling to imagine any current UK comedian, no matter how edgy, using that word in a joke set up on a television show. It just would not go down well here at all.

I don't think you can compare saying something offensive at work with a comedy script. I just don't. That's clearly where we differ.

Comedians shock all the time and say things that offend. When it's well crafted like Ricky Gervais, it skirts a very fine line, but manages to stay within that line. It sounds like this guy crossed the line which is a shame and I am in no way defending him as an individual. But I do think we live in a world where everyone is offended about something and that's not good.

I mean, he was at work! I don't think his job as comedian is to make misogynistic comments. It added literally zero to his act. Which you would know if you'd actually watched it!
It was just misogyny - I don't know why you you are tying yourself in knots to make this acceptable.

People are allowed to be offended. It has to work both ways. If people can say offensive things then people can be offended by those offensive comments.

Some of them do, yeah. Some people find it funny. Some don’t. The mere fact that they do it doesn’t prove that it’s funny.

If you bothered to read my posts in the spirit in which they are written, you can see I am not defending him personally. I am defending the principle that comedy can offend. Comedy can use distasteful subject matter. Some of that might be viewed as misogynistic, racist or ableist by person A and absolutely fine by person B.

Lots of great comments to think about. I agree that we’ve swung the pendulum a bit too far where everyone feels they should announce feeling offended when sometimes it’s more about just moving on or agreeing to disagree. Hence why I did the AIBU? But I also agree that the whore joke had no comedic value except shock and it didn’t even land in the way Gervais can manipulate the shock to make provocative but intelligent commentary. Gillis just wants to use his negative view of women to do what? No idea. DH and I aren’t talking about it but he was a jerk this morning and decided to drive too fast to scare me. So, it’s getting worse, not better. Sadly, we’ve been married for more than 2 decades and his general mood has been shit for the last few years.

The pendulum hasn’t swung nearly far enough, if it had we wouldn’t have so many people even on a female-majority website defending calling women whores because of what they wear as ‘comedy’.

The pendulum is so, so far from even having swung very much at all.

I don't find him funny, had never heard of him before this latest thing blew up so watched a few clips of various stand up on YouTube so I could guage his style before watching the latest controversial bit.

I don't really care what comedians say, some try to be edgy or offensive on purpose. That can be funny, and we can't all like them all.

I don't think he is funny at all, and it's unhelpful when male comedians take backwards and knuckle dragging shots at women, but they have free speech so whatcha gonna do?

I will however reserve the right to judge people for finding that funny and appropriate!

Sense of humour is quite an important compatibility trait to me and can flag up issues in a relationship.

But you’ve not actually watched the clip so you’ve missed a really important point.
This isn’t about comedy because he actually failed in that respect. There wasn’t a joke or a punchline - he literally just called women whores.
The jokes came later. The sentence where he called women whores added nothing to that routine.

You’re defending comedy as a whole when this was actually just a man standing on a stage calling women whores. How else should we view that other than it being a literal example of misogyny?

I have other instances with DH where he doesn’t seem to respect me like he used to and I can’t help but feel his siding with Gillis is reinforcing his general attitude that women (his wife) are on this earth to ruin his good time. If we didn’t have 2 children and a previous good life together, I’d walk away today.

This.

Misogyny is gross.

Well I would say it is no surprise (but I am sorry for OP) that there is a correlation between DH liking that ‘joke’ and his general behaviour towards OP

Do you not think his attitude to someone calling women whores( with no actual punchline) is in anyway connected to his behaviour towards his wife ?

I am saying that they are totally connected

I saw a post on insta that said, The road from “women dress like whores at the gym” to “free pussy” in the group chat, is a straight line.

In the year 2026 we can do better. It’s not even a really a joke. It’s just a very weird thing to say. And baffling that men still think anyone is dressing for their creepy, judgemental gaze.

The only good thing about this is my feed is now full of videos of incredibly strong women working out in their “whore shorts”.

Oh so sorry i misunderstood.

Yes. You’re absolutely right.
Because normal intelligent women in sensible clothes have no objection whatsoever to other women being called whores in the name of “comedy”

Idiot.

Sense of humour is very variable and individual.

It doesn't work for you. That's all.

Whilst I don’t agree with calling women whores, I do think there is a significant minority of women who dress inappropriately in the gym.

I agree that women should dress modestly but those that dress inappropriately do not deserve to be called whores. It's pretty much the most offensive thing you can be called.

Can you imagine the uproar if a teenage lad said that comment, in humour, at school!! He'd be hauled over the coals, many MNs would be have a mad time baying for his blood, telling us all how disgusting it is tagtvtheir daughters/ other females have to put ip with this misogynistic crap!

I dont have a problem with edgy, crude comedy (i dont know who this is but have looked up the comments he made), the word where is not funny and the fact a famous comedian thinks its ok to use it to get laughs is bloody awful ansd such behaviour is why it trickles down to the next generation of blokes as being ok behaviour!

The veil is not thin; it’s absent,

The issue is, it’s not about whether you find different things funny . It whether he finds sexism and calling women whores funny. And if he does what does that say about him?