DH Thinks Shane Gillis is Great

[Delphinium20]

We watched SNL and DH kept laughing and I didn’t really get the jokes, but then it came to the infamous “why are all women dressed like whores at the gym” and I was disgusted. DH laughed at it but saw my face and tried to pretend like it wasn’t that funny.

we talked a bit and it turns out DH loves this comedian and can’t stop defending him.

FWIW, I have laughed my head off to many edgy comedians like Dave Chappelle and Ricky Gervais. Somehow, this Gillis guy seems really off (and not terribly clever). DH’s defense is giving me the ick. We just started a week away trip that is supposed to be romantic and all I want to do is be far away from him.

I don’t believe I defended that joke per se. I pointed out that comedians say inappropriate things all the time.

The idea that comedy has to be acceptable is problematic because it’s subjective.

I may well have not found it funny either. But OP wasn’t discussing that. She was judging her DH for finding it funny. There’s a difference.

Or jokes about homosexuals every time he's asked where Alan is?

Or pedophiles or having sex with "your mum"

But god forbid a joke that's about women's clothes

But god forbid a joke that's about women's clothes

Jokes about clothes are absolutely fine, clothes can be silly or badly chosen; calling women whores for wearing shorts to the gym… not quite so good.

That a woman is going to the gym immaculately made up, dressed in revealing clothes...to get hot sweaty and uncomfortable seems ridiculous....there explained

Oh and why does everyone who goes to the gym want to avoid walking more than 10 feet from the car? It's not one I'd open with on Graham Norton but it's a filler

But don't you think it would have been useful to know what people were actually talking about?

Yes, comedians tell inappropriate jokes all the time but sometimes they just say inappropriate things. Being a comedian isn't a get out clause for misogyny.

I'm still waiting for someone to explain why what he said was funny? Why it's considered a joke and not just outright misogyny? If a non-comedian said it would it still be considered a joke?

No, it’s not explained. You conveniently left out the “whores” part.
Why are women dressed in shorts, to the GYM, like whores?

Go on, I could do with a laugh.

Why did he need to use the world whore?
He could have said they same thing without the misogynistic language. I mean, still wouldn't be funny but at least he wouldn't have called women whores.

And the gym/car comments is as old as the hills. And not funny either as most people go to the gym on their way to or from work.

The bit about women looking like whores wasn't the joke. It was part the setup, along with the complaint about how weird the scrunchy shorts look. The punchline to the joke is that he's in their selfies, looking at their butts.

The joke, such as it is, comes from the juxtaposition between the apparent distaste for how these particular women dress and the revelation that he nevertheless finds them attractive. It's not particularly funny to me but there you go.

So the punchline is that he's a sex pest? Hilarious.

Thanks @Moros that makes sense. And doesn’t remotely resemble the first “explanation” at all.

The “joke”, shit as it was, and still misogynistic, didn’t have to have women deemed whores for wearing shorts for it still to have “worked”.

I do not share my husband's sense of humour.

Despite that, we have been happily together for many decades.

I don't have to agree with his literary, music, movie or other cultural choices either.

It's like you saying 'I can't stand his music' - if he's playing at full blast fair, but if it's on headphones - not fair.

What I'm trying to say is it's about impact on you.

If he comments negatively on your gym outfit and says to get changed - that's a problem.

If he finds it funny as a general thing, but actually thinks you're fine wearing what you choose to wear to the gym - then not such an issue.

Yes this i mean obviously the women make him look it isn't his fault he is just a man etc etc 🙄

I think it's more that he's a hypocrite.

I would have an issue with DH if he finds misogyny funny. Many people wouldn't find it acceptable if their partner laughed at racism but misogyny still seems fair game.

I do wonder if in years to come the comedians who are seen as 'edgy' now will be looked at with horror in the same way many 70s shows are now, or even some elements of shows like Friends where those bits haven't aged well

Id also have an issue of my DH was commenting on what other women wear to the gym. I think it demonstrates how he feels about women generally.
I couldn’t be married to someone who referred to women as whores or who thought it was funny when other men did.
It’s a clash of values as opposed to a clash in taste.

Why did ne need to use the words whores?

@hagchic all perfectly reasonable, but would you be so accommodating of your husband’s tastes if they were racist and sexist?

I don’t think it’s having different tastes per se that’s the issue; more that OP finds her husband laughing at misogynistic slurs unacceptable.

But also obviously a sex pest if he’s staring at women while in the gym.

No idea. I'm not him, I didn't write the joke, I'm not defending his choice of words, and I don't find it funny. It's just that people were asking for the joke to be explained so I did.

Fair points. He does comment about scrunch bum shorts - and I push back/argue about it.

That said - I've had fiercer arguments on here about women's gym wear so it is definitely not just men calling women names about what they choose to wear.

Women can be misogynistic too!
Nobody should be commenting on what someone else chooses to wear. Man or woman.

And yet there is a lot of commentary on here and definitely in our society about judging people for what they wear and what they look like.