Is sending nice buns into school showing off?

[Luce1234]

Possibly very much overthinking here, but it is my daughters birthday on Wednesday (turning 9) her class normally take a sweet treat/cake in on on their birthdays, this is fine with the parents and no one has allergies (know this from several parties). I love baking but never really do it much, last year I made and took in some cupcakes, I'm a home baker but can turn out a decent cupcake, planning to do it this year again but my husband has said that I shouldn't, that it is very much attention seeking and very 'look at me" This isn't my intention at all, I have most of the ingrediants in the cupboard all ready, it'll only cost me about £4 to make 36 buns, I only have to buy the butter and some icing sugar. I have boxes already that I bought in bulk from Temu and tbh I just like baking. But I would hate to be talked about by any of the mum's, or for people to think that I'm attempting to show off, parents would see them as they are normally given out last thing. Should I just buy some shop bought cake or buns, which would cost me more money and not be as nice? I'm inclined to think that my husband is been harsh, they will look nice when done, but I reckon people will still be able to tell that they are homemade and that I haven't spent loads of money buying them. Thanks.

No, no, that's your core issue, the one you decided to fixate on when you realised you could not sway me on facts and that being sarcastic and rude wasn't working either :)

I simply stated I would try not let my child eat food prepared by a stranger, and you already know the reasons for that, and if they did - oh well.

So, despite your best efforts to sea lion, there is nothing more to answer and this is a far longer response than you actually deserved.

Fortunately, I have a little free time and am happy to educate.

Here, have another fish!

Depends how big they are! 🤭

I’m not taking a fish from you, I’ll get mine from a shop thanks.

This reply has really made me laugh 😆

Adhering to basic hygiene? I can live with that 😀

😆

Me too :)

I’m a terrible baker and impatient to boot, so it’s always a shop bought treat. Birthday treats from others range from a packet of haribo to some exquisite looking cakes - the kids are happy with everything! I wouldn’t judge you, but would admire your talent. I have never heard another parent judging, although I’m now wondering if my home is being judged!

Thinking back to the time my kids were that age, I can think of 2 scenarios, neither of which would have resulted in me looking down on you:

1. Kids eat the cake before I even see it or
2. I discover the cake squashed in the book bag 3 days later

It isn’t a strawman, you need to go back to wikipedia on that one.

And while you’re googling you could check how businesses are certified, watch some videos of supermarket sandwiches being made and think about whether a number of workers in a factory with short breaks, shared toilets and no connection to the eventual customers or a mum making a treat for her child’s friends is more likely to be washing hands, working while ill, scratching their nose, etc. I’d rather eat the food that one pair of hands has touched than twenty!

The question the OP asked was should she send homemade cakes into school.

Your answer is helpful only in so much that it was clearly in the minority. Most responses say she should.

And, as the OP has control over the hygiene that so concerns you, the only reasonable conclusion from the thread is that she should get baking.

I would find handmade cakes lovely, go for it., and make them as fancy as you want. We get a mixture of hand made and store bought ones in our school, asxwell as packets of haribo or other sweets, even fruits. No one I know judges what others offer. And no-one I know would worry about hygiene.

Everyone baked for a coffee morning recently- the teacher came over t ok tell the people pretty much around us how amazing all their cupcakes etc were. Ours were very much not amazing and nothing was said to us😂

I wouldn't mind...my kid wouod lick the icing off and dump the cake.
But our school only allow shop bought cakes or sweet packets for birthdays...i guess for allergies/Hygiene

I can knok up a bun but wouldn’t for school because people are weird.
Same as handing out loose sweets at Halloween, apparently most people throw them away!

I adapted to the madness and bought everyone a flump (long marshmallow) and pencil with mixed colours. Tied them together with a ribbon for dds class.

Save the baking for family and friends

Moves sealions out of the way.

So anyway, OP, as I said, I wouldn't eat anything prepared by a stranger in their own home, it's a perfectly standard reasonable hygiene concern and nothing to do with you personally. I wouldn't say a word, I just wouldn't eat it, and would try to stop my child from eating it.

But if they did, oh well, such is life, they used to eat dirt from time to time so they'll likely be fine.

However to be clear, this is not an uncommon boundary hygiene, it's very common indeed.

To return to your question however, I would not say it looked like showing off, and the sort of people who think that will be impossible to please anyway.

As you can see from this thread, a lot of women are just barking mad and desperate to have a go if they possibly can, they will pick any and no reason at all for starting a fight in an empty house.

You will find as you go through school there are a lot of deeply unpleasant people out there (and they're all on Mumsnet 😅)

I'd just buy something from a shop, but that's your choice obviously.

The thought behind it is kind.

There's not a single other word I need to write to clarify anything, and I have covered all the bases here so I will leave you to the barking sealions :)

I love being talked about, bakes those buns lady 😁

YANBU for sending home made cakes to school

YABU for buying temu crap and storing food in them. They have terrible chemicals in them.

Have you thought about sending in Fruit Loops?

That really isn't standard

You’re getting lots of responses not because women are mad or the forum full of ‘sealions’ but because you’re posting in a very odd, antagonistic and repetitive way.

And your pseudorationalism is a fallacy based on the aesthetics of food wrapped in plastic looking ‘hygienic’, food poisoning is far more likely to be the result of commercially prepared food. One paper here that shows food poisoning more than twice as likely to be from eating out than at home, see also the news on a regular basis (or get a job in a pub, factory or cafe…): pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11502323/

I think its lovely and find it incredibly weird when people claim they dont eat anything homebaked on hygiene grounds.

That said, lots of parents won't want their child being given a sugary cake after school.

Unless you are going to turn out incredible amazing ‘oh my god these are to die for’ buns and post it all over SM what an incredible mum you are baking for her whole class…what is the problem? You said it’s normal to bring something in, so, I just don’t get what the issue is?

Mad as a hatter

Ive never met anyone in RL actually like this yet mnet is full of it.

Meanwhile in RL homebaked cakes are bought in tons of school fairs, WIs and summer fetes every year.

Some people on here really need to grow up

You are one of them.