Is sending nice buns into school showing off?

[Luce1234]

Possibly very much overthinking here, but it is my daughters birthday on Wednesday (turning 9) her class normally take a sweet treat/cake in on on their birthdays, this is fine with the parents and no one has allergies (know this from several parties). I love baking but never really do it much, last year I made and took in some cupcakes, I'm a home baker but can turn out a decent cupcake, planning to do it this year again but my husband has said that I shouldn't, that it is very much attention seeking and very 'look at me" This isn't my intention at all, I have most of the ingrediants in the cupboard all ready, it'll only cost me about £4 to make 36 buns, I only have to buy the butter and some icing sugar. I have boxes already that I bought in bulk from Temu and tbh I just like baking. But I would hate to be talked about by any of the mum's, or for people to think that I'm attempting to show off, parents would see them as they are normally given out last thing. Should I just buy some shop bought cake or buns, which would cost me more money and not be as nice? I'm inclined to think that my husband is been harsh, they will look nice when done, but I reckon people will still be able to tell that they are homemade and that I haven't spent loads of money buying them. Thanks.

It is far from reasonable.

What do you do if your child is invited to a birthday party? Forbid them to eat?

Acknowledging reality is a sad way to go through life?

What an odd sentiment.

If anything, the parents will probably be happy that they are fresh and homemade.

I’d go for it-just don’t make them too flashy

Ah, another sealion.

Sealioning is "a bad faith rhetorical strategy or form of online harassment, rather than a strict logical fallacy. An interlocutor feigns polite ignorance and relentlessly demands evidence or explanations to exhaust the target. The goal is not to learn, but to wear down the opponent through an endless series of seemingly reasonable questions until they lose their temper or disengage, at which point the "sealion" claims victory by portraying the victim as unreasonable or closed-minded."

Here, have a fish :)

What do you think would happen to your child though? I beg to differ that it’s rational and reasonable - unless your child had some kind of allergy and couldn’t be sure of the ingredient… call me rude as well if you like!

Oh dear. I hope you’re ok.

What do most people do? Do that.

You sound barking mad, like a sealion :)

Sealioning is "a bad faith rhetorical strategy or form of online harassment, rather than a strict logical fallacy. An interlocutor feigns polite ignorance and relentlessly demands evidence or explanations to exhaust the target. The goal is not to learn, but to wear down the opponent through an endless series of seemingly reasonable questions until they lose their temper or disengage, at which point the "sealion" claims victory by portraying the victim as unreasonable or closed-minded."

If my DC came out of school with a cake or a bun(?) or whatever I wouldn’t give it even a second thought. I’d probably prefer shop bought if I was thinking about it… some people have terrible food hygiene/ dirty kitchens. But I really wouldn’t have the time to consider it on the school run. My DC would eat it before I’d even seen it.

Seriously, why is eating a homemade birthday cake at a party different to eating a homemade birthday cake at school?

What about sandwiches? Would you insist the birthday sandwiches came in packets from M&S?

The reality is though - that nothing bad will happen to your child through eating a home-made cupcake for a classmate’s birthday. It’s just as likely that they may consume a bad batch of shop-bought ones and get ill, if that’s what you’re worried about. Or that someone sneezed on it in class. I do find it sad that some parents wouldn’t “allow” their child to eat it. Unless there is an allergy involved of course!

I find it strange @MyArtfulGreySloth that you are calling other posters rude and mad when yours are some of the most patronising and odd in tone posts I’ve seen on mumsnet.

And what's copy and pasting the same block of text you found online over and over called?

No you don't :)

Your response is what we call arguing in bad faith, or being disingenous. See also ad hom by implication, attempting to pretend you believe the person you are harassing online is unwell in some way as an attempt to score points, or insult them.

It didn't work though. What next I wonder :)

I do hope you’re ok, the responses on this thread are, frankly, concerning. Over and out!

Ah, I see you have switched to the Red Herring fallacy.

The Red Herring Fallacy is a diversionary tactic where an irrelevant detail is introduced to distract from the core issue, effectively derailing the discussion.

Nice try :)

No, they're absolutely not.

But you already know that :) Bye then!

Anyone who thinks shop bought food is ‘clean’ has clearly never worked in hospitality or a factory 😬

OK, the core issue is, you wouldn't let your child eat a homemade cake.

Why not?

What do you think will happen to them?

Well, that won't be enough for the whole class! Unless the daughter's Jesus.

My DD school wouldn’t accept home baking in the class. The teachers were pretty snotty about it too, said you never knew what went on at home! Based on that, I wouldn’t bother but you do if you’d enjoy it

This is a strawman.

Nobody has stated that all shop bought food is clean. However we do know there are hygiene standards compelled by law, and lots of different eyes on those practices.

And we do know that we cannot compare an environment which is built for food production to the general public to the home of a total stranger, as there is not nearly enough information to go on.

You've certainly impressed us all with your knowledge of rhetorical devices, SleepyJean!

Any chance of addressing the core issues?

I would think it was lovely 😁 -it wouldnt even cross my mind to worry about hygiene and showing off to be honest!
DD (or myself!) would eat the cake and enjoy it.
Honestly i don’t understand a lot of the views that have been put here.