Is sending nice buns into school showing off?

[Luce1234]

Possibly very much overthinking here, but it is my daughters birthday on Wednesday (turning 9) her class normally take a sweet treat/cake in on on their birthdays, this is fine with the parents and no one has allergies (know this from several parties). I love baking but never really do it much, last year I made and took in some cupcakes, I'm a home baker but can turn out a decent cupcake, planning to do it this year again but my husband has said that I shouldn't, that it is very much attention seeking and very 'look at me" This isn't my intention at all, I have most of the ingrediants in the cupboard all ready, it'll only cost me about £4 to make 36 buns, I only have to buy the butter and some icing sugar. I have boxes already that I bought in bulk from Temu and tbh I just like baking. But I would hate to be talked about by any of the mum's, or for people to think that I'm attempting to show off, parents would see them as they are normally given out last thing. Should I just buy some shop bought cake or buns, which would cost me more money and not be as nice? I'm inclined to think that my husband is been harsh, they will look nice when done, but I reckon people will still be able to tell that they are homemade and that I haven't spent loads of money buying them. Thanks.

I think it’s lovely and a nice change from processed shop bought food. Can’t think of a time I’ve ever been ill from a homemade cake. I worked many years in restaurants and you’d be surprised by what some places get away with in the kitchens but it never seems to cross our minds when we eat out.

It must be exhausting hunting websites in desperation to be rude to strangers who make factual comments.

To add - no it's not even remotely inconvenient accepting reality and saying no to home made food from strangers, let alone exhausting. But you do you.

Well currently 5/24 responses say no due to hygiene and some of the other 24 are quotes disparaging this, so a pretty material concern for op.

You're not, of course, attempting to compare the home of a total stranger to a business dedicated to making food for the public.

That would be quite strange.

And you did, of course, report all those unhygienic practices in all those restaurants you worked at. Well done.

Are those foods not prepared by a stranger?

Surprised nobody's screamed at you for using Temu yet. Too busy trying to be snarkcastic about standard, normal hygiene concerns I expect.

And no, snarkastic is not a typo, it's a portmanteau.

I would sadly agree with DH. This sort of thing would get gritted teeth thanks at the gates from parents or 'oh how nice of X's mummy' while they also avoid eye contact.

No-one will actually say anything but people can be miserable.

However, if you want to do it, do it. So what if negative nellies don't love you for it.

You can over think the hygiene aspect. It’s weird people think factories are always clean. We do know they’re UPF . Make the cakes and don’t stress it.

Oh, we're doing the sealion dance I see.

Sealioning is "a bad faith rhetorical strategy or form of online harassment, rather than a strict logical fallacy. An interlocutor feigns polite ignorance and relentlessly demands evidence or explanations to exhaust the target. The goal is not to learn, but to wear down the opponent through an endless series of seemingly reasonable questions until they lose their temper or disengage, at which point the "sealion" claims victory by portraying the victim as unreasonable or closed-minded."

So, with that, are we trying to pretend shops don't have hygiene standards that they are required by law to follow? And that this is nothing at all like a stranger preparing food in their own home?

Here, let me throw you a fish.

Aren’t they tea cakes?

Are we trying to pretend that shops all meet those hygiene standards?

No, they're currant buns.

And are you going to pretend that shops and hospitality businesses aren’t staffed by individuals who probably, on occasion, break the rules without consequence?

If you think Environmental Health are stood in every cafe and restaurant ready to banish any unwashed hand or errant rat dropping I have bad news for you.

Obviously not attempting to compare the two. I’m pointing out that a restaurant is just as capable of poor hygiene. Not all restaurants but some.

So anyway, OP, as I said, I wouldn't eat anything prepared by a stranger in their own home, it's a perfectly standard reasonable hygiene concern and nothing to do with you personally. I wouldn't say a word, I just wouldn't eat it, and would try to stop my child from eating it.

But if they did, oh well, such is life, they used to eat dirt from time to time so they'll likely be fine.

However to be clear, this is not an uncommon boundary hygiene, it's very common indeed.

To return to your question however, I would not say it looked like showing off, and the sort of people who think that will be impossible to please anyway.

As you can see from this thread, a lot of women are just barking mad and desperate to have a go if they possibly can, they will pick any and no reason at all for starting a fight in an empty house.

You will find as you go through school there are a lot of deeply unpleasant people out there (and they're all on Mumsnet 😅)

I'd just buy something from a shop, but that's your choice obviously. The thought behind it is kind.

Indeed, and they can then be shut down. Unfortunately we cannot compare every single restaurant, bakery, factory that prepares food directly with the hygiene standards of total strangers in their own home. But we do know that there are checks and standards and that multiple people have eyes on restaurants etc and none whatsoever in a stranger's home.

So we don't attempt to compare those two, very different, environments.

Making your own buns is a lovely thing to do.
You will earn the "try-hard" label if the decorations look too polished. Aim for an aesthetic of "I decorated these in 5 minutes flat with my left hand while doing my hair with my right hand, sorry they are a bit slapdash" rather than "I made Paul Hollywood weep with pleasure at the sight of these buns"

Wow our school hasn’t allowed anything home made or unpackaged in at least 15 years. I didn’t know this was still a thing.

I used to be a teacher and we had a strict policy that everything had to be labelled with ingredients and sealed so couldn’t share out anything home made. Check with the school but it’s pretty standard.

The thing is, though, the OP will know whether or not she is planning to serve disgusting, unhygienic cakes or not. (I assume not.)

As most people aren't as paranoid as you, most kids in the class would be served a delicious home-made cake. Your kid, in this scenario, would miss out. Your loss.

What a fine time to be alive! Who's your Chair of Governors, Mr Kipling?

Nope, attempting to be rude to a stranger is not working out for you I'm afraid.

The thing is, your reponse is irrelevant and mine is perfectly rational, reasonable and a standard boundary.

Bye now :)

I don't think the 8 year olds can tell the difference between shop bought and home made, nor do i think they will judge you for trying to hard - i think they will just be thrilled to get a sweet treat :-)

I think it's a nice idea. Most people in real life won't do anywhere near the amount of handwringing that goes on here on mumsnet, so don't worry about it or overthink it.

I find it interesting that so many people say they prefer shop bought to homemade. Have these people ever read the list of ingredients on a shop bought cake?

What do you think will happen? Seems a very sad way to go through life…