Family member's newborn – WWYD?

[CrumpetConnoisseur]

My cousin has recently brought her tiny premature baby home after a stay in NICU. She weighs less than 5lbs.
She sent me a photo of the baby asleep on her tummy in her Moses basket and said that this is the position she settles best in.
I have to admit I’m quite concerned. I know babies shouldn’t generally be put down to sleep on their fronts, and with her being so premature and tiny, it makes me particularly nervous.
My cousin also doesn’t want to use a breathing or movement monitor such as an Owlet, which adds to my worry, although I appreciate these aren’t recommended as a substitute for safe sleeping practices.

Obviously, I’m not her baby’s parent and I don’t want to come across as judgemental or interfere with how she’s looking after her. I also don’t know whether the NICU team has given her any specific advice regarding sleeping positions.

Would you be concerned in this situation? Would you say something to her, or leave it alone because it’s not your baby?
I just want the little one to be safe, but I also don’t want to overstep the mark.

Definitely not. 8 hrs after the birth. No where did I say baby had been asleep for 8 hours.

Erm you are joking? People take photos of everything now. If there was a legitimate burn not sore or pressure mark then it would have been photographed and plastered over every social media. Socks would have been recalled and owlet sued. None of that happened.

The last thing on my mind if my child was hurt would be to photograph it and put it on social media what a strange way for your brain to work

Not different. Parents are given the lullaby trust details/leaflets before they leave. Nicu nurse here

Pediatricians do not recommend the
Owlet Smart Sock because it has not been proven to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), often generates inaccurate or false alarms, and can give parents a false sense of security or heightened anxiety.

• No Proven SIDS Prevention:
• Home cardiorespiratory monitors do not prevent or lower the risk of SIDS in healthy newborns.
• False Alarms and Inaccuracy: Studies have shown that consumer-grade biometric socks can have high failure or low sensitivity rates (such as missing slow heart rates or irregular oxygen levels) while frequently triggering false alerts.
• Consumer Reports +1
• Increased Parental Anxiety: Instead of helping parents sleep better, frequent and meaningless notifications often disrupt rest and heighten panic.
• Facebook·Dr. Michael Milobsky +1
• False Sense of Security & Complacency:Pediatricians worry that relying on a tech gadget might lead parents to slack on proven safe-sleep guidelines, such as placing the baby flat on their back on a firm, uncluttered surface.
• harbor.co +2
• Regulatory Status: Devices like the
• Owlet Dream Sock
• are often marketed as wellness products rather than medical-grade diagnostic equipment, leading medical groups to recommend them only for specific high-risk or technology-dependent infants under direct doctor supervision.
• TikTok·dr.amnahusain +2

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Well if the Mum is daft enough to live with and have a child with a smoker, she isn't that fussed about either her or her baby's health so I doubt your concerns would be well received.

Whilst I appreciate that not all devices are medically recognised. There is a reason they are for sale.

Like I said it was a lifeline for me & I am sure for many others too. Anybody in my situation, I would most definately recommend.

Whilst on the other hand, they are not everyones cup of tea.

But anyway, seems we digress from the original message.

ChatGPT?

This is literally the must passive aggressive statement please don’t do this.

I wouldnt say anything because unless she has been living on Mars she will know the standard back to sleep advice.
At the end of the day it is the parents' decision tp make.

Its anyone's business if a young life is put at risk, and someone smoking in the same building will put her at risk. That is unacceptable. 😰

My cousins daughter was born at 23 weeks and survived. Nicu babies are put on their front to sleep and thats how she slept when she came home too. I have 5 children and all of them slept on their fronts

as someone who was in a very similar position 6 years ago, I wish I’d said something. Baby spent 8 weeks on NICU and come home (without any oxygen/ monitoring) and was always placed to sleep on her tummy. They said NICU always did it and she settled so much better. I didn’t say anything as I just thought they obviously knew better due to the long stay. The baby passed away. Of SIDS 3 weeks later. On her tummy. I’ll never forgive my self for not mentioning it

My DC are both middle aged and both slept on their tummies. We were told to do it at the time.

Im sure the health visitor will pick up on the smoking indoors when they visit. Aside from that what can you do? Its her baby at the end of the day u have to leave her to parent as she chooses to. I agree some things dont sound ideal however its not your child so best to step back its so annoying people butting in. My nephew is a year younger than my daughter and they've decided not to vaccinate him.. i just said OK.. i didnt ask any questions just left it there because its not my child! I know what I do for my own and thats my business. Save yourself taking paracetamol for someone else's headache (although it seems ur cousin isn't hurting her head over her choices.. you are)

Definitely don’t butt out, OP! My DC was in NICU. At no point did they tell me my baby could sleep on their front when they came home! They checked I knew the safe sleep advice - ie baby on their back, no blankets, no cot bumpers, etc.

In your position, I’d either speak to the parents of the mum so they can pass the message on, or I’d say something myself. Perhaps after some gentle, interested questioning.

Assume nothing. I casually said something to my friend (about a different baby safety rule) when she had her first baby, assuming she knew - and she didn’t. She wasn’t stupid or reckless, she just didn’t know.

There’s zero chance that she doesn’t already know that tummy sleeping is not recommended. It’s drilled into every pregnant woman from all angles. She’s obviously made this decision anyway with that knowledge, so on that basis I wouldn’t say anything to her.

I compare it to when I had my babies and decided to co sleep with them, which is also not strictly recommended. It was the only way I could get any sleep. I would have been annoyed if anyone had criticised me for that.

I co-slept (safely!) and used to get so pissed off at people telling me “never take your baby to bed with you”. Unless you know all the facts back off and stop being judgmental! Have you visited your cousin and had a chat face to face?! She’s been through intense stress and probably needs support not judgement!

You need to say something to her about how guidance is now not to put them on their fronts.

Heaven forbid, but if anything happens you won’t forgive yourself for not saying anything.

Why do women keep on taking on othet peoples issues they complain enough about the thought load but ot seems women always need to find something to worry about so pick on what others do

I’d say forgive me if you feel I’m intefering and I know you know what you’re doing but I read something really scary about babies sleeping on their tummies, and I just had to mention it to you (and have an article at the ready to send her if she asks) I’d phone her not text as things seem harsher written in black and white.
Is it possible advice has changed though?

Yep . Advice does change !

I would definitely mention the front sleeping when so small. The smoking is really concerning but not much you can do about that.