AIBU to hate hosting playdates?

[Orangeducks]

This is light hearted really but AIBU to dislike hosting playdates?!
I love my own kids but find other annoying. We have had one this evening and I found the boy nice enough but rude and demanding 'I'm hungry' 'can I have some crisps? ' 'can I have another biscuit?'

I gave lots of snacks and dinner so felt they ate plenty. I would hate if my child were saying that at other people's house but not sure if thats just a me thing?

The kids (all not just the friend) left a huge mess and took forever to leave when they were picked up and I just wanted to get on with bedtime and relax!

I know I need to host for social reasons for my kids but just generally find it annoying!

AIBU?

Maybe the child hadn't eaten much during the day? Also, is likely still learning manners.
Regardless, play dates are tiring, especially at the end of a long week. Brava to you for hosting on a Friday night! 👏

Yanbu. I love having my children's friends over and host the majority of playdates and parties. Love the house filled with children having fun and am a bit sad to think that one day when they're grown that won't happen! However, I am a teacher and love children and it IS hard work, you don't have to like it!

You need a start and end time eg 4-5:30 and then they have to leave at 5:30 so you can start bath time bed etc.

i find it harder when parents stay and gentle parent their kids. If they aren’t around and I’ve given lots of biscuits, when the kid asks for more just say no and move on!!

I hate it too. Other people’s kids are so annoying. My own is, of course, wonderful.

Are play dates necessary? We socialised with our siblings and cousins, which isn’t always possible but kids don’t need to be constantly busy and entertained.

It really saddens me that I live somewhere that’s infested with people who talk about children like they’re shit on their shoe. I don’t love every child I meet and some of them can be annoying but some adults can be annoying. Thats life.

What if there aren't siblings or cousins?
Kids want to spend time with friends and having friends as guests teaches hosting as well. It's good for children's self-esteem to play with friends and have friends visit.

Aw I loved having playdates for my dc's and loved when they were invited back.
It's lovely for the children to play and be sociable and...have fun !

This is a very specific forum for people to vent. I am pro children. I am hosting regardless of my feelings on hosting. I'm just ranting that I dont appreciate someone else's child pronouncing 'yuck I hate this food' when I serve them tea. I get that enough from my own child 🤣

I hate hosting playdates too, though I do it because I accept that it's my kids' home and they're entitled to have friends over now and then. Much prefer to meet people out of the house, and we'll often offer to take a friend of our older DC out for the day alongside our two.

All kids are annoying in other people's houses though, so it won't just be the ones visiting your house. They're either too forward (asking for snacks/treats) or won't say boo to a goose so you can't get them to tell you if they want anything. A child who won't tell you any of their preferences (what they'd like to eat, what they'd like to play) is just as annoying as one who is constantly asking for things, and much harder to deal with as you have to work hard to get them to come out of their shell. But I like kids in general, and playdates do something weird even to nice kids, so try to cut them some slack. They're my kids' friends, not mine, so as long as the kids get along and the behaviour isn't absolutely feral, it's no skin off my nose.

I did notice when my children were young and we hosted that kids have become ever so confident with adults and in asking for things such as food and drinks. I’m comparing this to my own childhood where most of the kids I knew (including myself) felt awkward if they accepted more than a glass of water and certainly wouldn’t want to be chatting to friends parents let alone asking for things.

You need to introduce tidy up time into the play date OP. Everyone tidy up and then you can come down for a biscuit. Or it’s tidy up time. Let’s see who can tidy up the most before the music stops. The typewriter song is great for that one.

I always host....kids are drawn to my house... And thankfully they are a bit older

I completely understand. I get so fed up but

Someone once said that at least in your house you know what is going on... So I always had chicken nuggets and smiley faces in freezer .

And yep. I held that manta. When the kids were calling out I had the lay of land to know the kids, and their behaviour

The house can be tidied and you know what is going on.

But I can honestly say many a time I had to repeat that in my head as it was hard work.

Hate it! Im in the trenches of sleepover stage and just grin and bear it because they are reciprocated which means we get child free nights lol. My house is also the hub for every waif and stray in the street but as it was said, better them being close to keep an eye on. My DD loves it though and it generally keeps her out my hair until the demand for snacks start

I loathe it with kids like that. So utterly rude and annoying. My dc are older now and ones like that we stopped the play dates. Even if my child was starving they would never just ask for things. We’ve had some who asked what the dinner options were to see if they like it. And it’s always those kids whose parents never pick up on time too!

Oh I totally get it. I’ve five older ones 19, 17, 16, 14 and 14. I was so pleased when play dates fizzled out. I then had another two (madness I know) they are 4 & 3 and I know I’m gunna have to be tortured once again for a number of years once they start school….im hating life already at just the thought and then there are the birthday parties to host and attend. I’m questioning my many life choices 🙈😂😂 x

Most children are a pita to host. Yes. But it isn't really a choice. Just a to do thing.
Always set a time. 2.5 hour is my go.

I dont enjoy hosting play dates so I don't do it. I'll take dcs to a park or soft play and I'll book out a hall for a party, but I'm confident enough to set out boundaries around who uses our home. It hasn't affected my dc's friendships at all and they have great self-esteem.

I think this is fair enough. Home is meant to be a sanctuary. It’s bad enough having the chaos of the children you physically birthed (or indeed adopted) without other people’s children treating you as the hired help.

I did host play dates for my now teen offspring. My very worst scenario was when the visiting child didn’t want to leave and the parent didn’t know how to manage it. Took more than an hour to eject the more stubborn small guests and their ineffective parents.

I host kids quite a lot - mainly because I like to keep an eye on my own and I feel if they’re not here I don’t know what’s going on 😂 I have a 12 and a 10 and the 10 year old had a few friends over today - it was LOUD 😂

I always felt really children like PP who weren’t allowed visitors to their home. I had an easy going mum who said yes to most play date requests and I hope to be the same

Not necessary, just fun. It isn’t necessary for me to socialise with my friends either, but I do it because it’s fun.
Not everything we do I life has to be done out of necessity.

I always had a house full of kids when my own were little, but once they crossed my threshold, we lived by my rules!

We’d have “snack time” and I’d chase them off if they were looking for food constantly, they might get one leeway. And 15 minutes before pick up time, I’d start the clean up so everyone could help!

Only children are apparently the majority now (especially in some areas). Mine aren't, but tbh they're like me in that I preferred time with friends to siblings, no offence if they see this!
OP, I think it's fine to have your own rules when they come so they don't annoy you as much with snacks etc.