DH pushing to move house whilst I’m pregnant

[Movingornot2]

Hi all, I’ll try to lay the facts out here as clearly as possible so hopefully it will enable some objective views:

-DH and I live in our first home purchased in 2019. It is a detached 3 bed but on the small side. Living room/ kitchen downstairs, not a lot of space but liveable. Upstairs is our main room, a smaller room which would barely fit a double so we use as a dressing room/office and also a box room. Has a garden, in a great location etc.

-DH has been pushing to move since our DS was born two years ago. I know we need more space eventually but in the midst of newborn life I said it wasn’t the time.

-I’m now pregnant again. DH declared we must move as we don’t have the space as it is let alone with another DC on the way.

-I am already struggling with pregnancy symptoms and the thought of the stress of moving on top is unthinkable to me. DH says it will be worse having to move when we’ve got a newborn.

-I think we should wait until DC is a year or so old and then move. We will make do until then as they will be in with us in our room for much of that. It isn’t as if the house market is great either.

Would you agree to move now, or wait it out as I’ve suggested?

DB, SIL and their DC moved from a flat to a house the other side of London when the youngest was 9 months old. They didn’t take a lot with them and used a packing service. But they’d looked for a house for a year before moving. Plus SIL is super organised and tidy. AFAIK SIL was still not working, returned when youngest was 1 so had that spare time.

Why don't you fit into a 3 bed? On paper that should be plenty big enough. If you don't fit, the chances of finding somewhere better are slim. It might be better to work out why you don't fit: hoarders, oversize hobbies etc, and fixing that.

We moved 24hrs after we had our twins lol we knew it was going to be tight but there you go it's just how it worked out. Luckily a home birth like all our other children happened as I wanted and then just dived in with packing a few hours later. Very lucky to have a super dh and family who also dived in at the right but awkward time to move. The plus I guess I'm a super chilled person so just go with the flow of whatever happens. But ye to suddenly have all this house space was brilliant and just what we needed to

Moved cities at 20 weeks with twins, knew no one there. I survived.

We moved when I was pregnant with no2. It didn’t occur to me to put things on hold just because I was pregnant. It was all absolutely fine. In fact, I think the hormones gave me lots of nesting energy as I was sorting and decorating like a demon.

I wouldn't move now.

My reasoning is that it can be such a long, unpredictable process. You could be done in 3 months, or it could be a year or more.

I put my house on the market in the April, it sold at the start of August, and I found a house at the start of September.

My moving date kept getting pushed back. End of November, December, January, then April... Although I ended up moving with 2 days notice in the February because one person's mortgage offer was running out and the bank had told them they wouldn't get another one... One of the solicitors in the chain was also done for fraud during the process.

It's not the worst I've heard by a long way, either.

We moved twice when I was pregnant with DS. For similar reasons ie space. First in early ish pregnancy to a rented place. Then just over a month before due date to a bought place. I was happy with this idea. We are only now moving again and DS is 4. However I had no pregnancy symptoms really other than a big belly. I was fit and able to move and lift boxes and be an active part of the move etc. so it seems like a different situation. If you are struggling it might be best to wait but only you can answer that.

I’m with you OP, with one child and another on the way I’d have sooner wiped my arse on a cactus than moved home. Hold your ground, moving house takes both of you on side not just one bulldozing over the other.

I moved while pregnant with my second. It was a HG pregnancy and I was hospitalised 5 times during it. Still glad I moved during that time rather than with 2 kids

I was three months pregnant when I had the moving bug. Same scenario we needed to upside or extend. It took six months for paperwork to go through and we moved in JUST before baby was born. A week before. Things to consider
How sick are you through pregnancy?
Are you moving into a fixer upper
Will you be paying for a moving an removal team to pack and unload
Do you have a support network near by that can help with kids or generally in the new place (unpacking etc)
Do you have to juggle work?

There's no harm in looking because the right place isn't going to turn up over night, nor are going to find a buyer overnight.

I however DID find a house and buyer within two weeks of putting my house up for sale and looking for a new place. It was hectic but I wouldn't have had it any different as I look back..we moved into a fixer upper but postpartum I had complications and if I had left it, we wouldn't have been able to move for another two years as health and mum of two kids life floored me on top of juggling work. No one warmed me how much my brain would be exhausted be caring for two. 😂😂
But I understand that you might have a more complicated pregnancy journey. For me post partum for the second was harder.

All that to say, there's no right time, listen to your body. If it's really something you can't weigh up doing whilst pregnant then your answer is you can't do it now.

If you have 3 bedrooms, albeit one small and one a box room, then toddler can go into one of the small rooms, use the other as an office and baby in with you, surely?

Might be a bit of a squash and squeeze, but perfectly doable.

I understood mortgage rates to be through the roof at the moment so I would check that out first to see what you can borrow at the moment.

I’m about to move at 32 weeks pregnant for similar reasons! It should have been much earlier but there have been endless delays. We didn’t want to get priced out of the sort if house we want or have to move with a newborn so here we are!

Way, way better to move when you're pregnant.

I did an international move with two kids and 7 months pregnant 🤪

Good bit is everyone is really nice to you and doesn't expect you to do much!!

I will say though, that our move was locked and loaded before I was pregnant.

I would be worried that the selling and buying and all it entails would take longer than 9 months and you'll end up in limbo around your due date or shortly after. That really would be crap.

You’re being really unreasonable op, you’re dragging your heels again but it sounds like DH has been patient but the house isn’t right for him anymore, and hasn’t been for years! There will always be a reason it’s ’not a good time’ why on earth does it matter that you’re pregnant??

either get it done or tell DH that you don’t want to move- then he knows what his choices are.

my house took a year to sell and complete, so perhaps your due date being in April wouldn't matter too much. Whilst the children are small, perhaps stay where you are?

That’s a good point about your timeline. I understand why the majority of people are saying to go for it and move while pregnant as it’s easier than with a newborn. But we got sale agreed on our house when I was 4 months pregnant and due to delays we couldn’t have foreseen we ended up moving house 3 days after I gave birth and nobody in their right mind is wanting that outcome surely! Personally, I think unless you’re already well into the process very early on in pregnancy it’s wiser to wait as it can take an age to move house in the UK. Or maybe if you’re buying a new build or vacant property that makes it different too.

Are you assuming you’d get a buyer straight away and find a new place all in a few months? These things take ages! Put your house on the market and go with the flow.

Three beds are very varied in how big they are. I’m in a three bed but the downstairs space is tiny. Other people could have three doubles with a large downstairs

I moved house with a 4 week old! Bit yo be fair. We still have our London house and only moved our clothes - which I hired someone to pack up. And then someone unpacked on the other side. An interior designer worked with contractors to have the new house ready. They had 5 months to do it all. It was nice to have more space/beautiful views (our new house) easier with a little baby as she did sleep, so I could move things around in the new house..get settled etc. would be much harder with a toddler!

Everything will be harder with two kids. Everything.

I think a lot of people do move when pregnant, even heavily. It's often sod's law one ends up moving a week before a wedding or days before a due date.

I moved with a toddler and a newborn. It was fine, we paid for packing and moving so I didn't have all that to deal with.

I would only do it now if you can hire somebody to do all the packing and moving so you don't have to be the dog's body trying to pack up everything yourself