DH pushing to move house whilst I’m pregnant

[Movingornot2]

Hi all, I’ll try to lay the facts out here as clearly as possible so hopefully it will enable some objective views:

-DH and I live in our first home purchased in 2019. It is a detached 3 bed but on the small side. Living room/ kitchen downstairs, not a lot of space but liveable. Upstairs is our main room, a smaller room which would barely fit a double so we use as a dressing room/office and also a box room. Has a garden, in a great location etc.

-DH has been pushing to move since our DS was born two years ago. I know we need more space eventually but in the midst of newborn life I said it wasn’t the time.

-I’m now pregnant again. DH declared we must move as we don’t have the space as it is let alone with another DC on the way.

-I am already struggling with pregnancy symptoms and the thought of the stress of moving on top is unthinkable to me. DH says it will be worse having to move when we’ve got a newborn.

-I think we should wait until DC is a year or so old and then move. We will make do until then as they will be in with us in our room for much of that. It isn’t as if the house market is great either.

Would you agree to move now, or wait it out as I’ve suggested?

I would move asap and get settled if you're going to. If you actually don't want to move at all can you look at extensions / reorganising / other options? You've been putting this off for a long time already.

I would guess that moving pregnant will be 100x easier than moving with two toddlers. And if you keep delaying your oldest will be starting school and that will be another thing to consider.

What's the rush? Objectively, your house is fine for your family size for the next few years at least. At most you need to swap rooms so DC have the mid sized bedroom and the box room is used as the home office/dressing room. Plus if moving to a bigger house is going to cost money in one off and ongoing costs, will you be able to afford it when you're paying two sets of pre-school childcare?

Or if he's set on moving, he can do all the admin, decluttering, old house prep, arranging removals and setting up of the new house and you can just go on viewings, sign paperwork and look after DC because you don't have time or energy for the rest of it.

I'd suggest ideally moving whilst pregnant. If not, when you have a young baby & toddler, as (1) maternity leave (2) the age when both aren't on the move is easier. Moving with a toddler and a preschooler sounds infinitely more hellish than moving with a newborn, or moving whilst pregnant.

Now. We stayed overcrowded temporarily (we thought) and nursery crushed our affordability for a new mortgage for years

The housing market is very subdued around here currently, lots of house been on sale for a while then were reduced in early summer, summer. Speak to an Estate agent or three, get your house valued and talk about the market where you are. You might find even if you look to move it not happen for a long time.

my neighbour put her house on market in March, had an asking price offered and accepted in June, the chain so slow won’t be moving this side of Christmas.

so even if you sold you might not get in before baby is born, if you do put the house on the market then use the time to reduce un necessary clutter. Pack things into storage?

We moved into our do-er upper when I was heavily pregnant and I gave birth 3 days after the move. Whilst it felt like a lot of change all at once for us (and our 3yo DS) it felt much more manageable than I think it would have been trying to navigate it with a newborn/infant.

As a mum of 3 small boys I say move now!
we moved country when my third baby was 3months old. It was hectic. We got professional movers and packers and cleaners which were great.

I can understand not wanting to move right now, or in the later stages or pregnancy but, as others have said, there is never really a good time to move. If you've both agreed that you need a bigger property, I would start the process now, before your small rooms look even smaller with a cot crammed into your bedroom and baby toys and changing mats everywhere. (The less stuff you have to move around for marketing photos, the better.)

It’s not hard to move when pregnant. Just pay for packers.

oh yes getting the removal company to pack for you is an absolute nonnegotiable. If you can empty the loft (barring the odd box for Christmas decs etc) that would also help as packers won't always clear a lift.

We started looking when I was pregnant with my second. The way it worked out, we moved when he was 6 weeks old. Not ideal but I still wouldn’t change it. It was amazing having more space! Moving day was pretty intense but we used packers too.

I was born 5 weeks early. My parents were still moving house, and my mum had barely started maternity leave, (which they had planned to use to move). Thankfully, I was being looked after in hospital and their employer was very generous and gave Dad 2 weeks paternity leave - not the norm in the 90s! - but it was still extremely stressful! Move while you can, you don't want to be doing it with a newborn, particularly not if there are complications!

How pregnant are you ? It can take months to move.

Not a chance as your house isn’t even on the market yet. Then you’ll be panicking about moving at the same time as giving birth.
Id stay put for a year.

Or put your house on the market in about 3 months. With the aim to sell before you have the baby but knowing you won’t be moving until the baby is past newborn stage.

Due in April.

I vote move now, but only if you can do it quickly before the baby arrives. Otherwise wait. You don’t want to be moving at 9 months pregnant or just after the birth.

For what it’s worth, when we moved to this house we had a nearly two year old and I was 4 months pregnant.

I moved at 7 months pregnant and it was fine. I know it’s hard to imagine but I genuinely think it’s easier to move pregnant, than move with multiple children and all the extra things that come with them.

We got sale agreed on a house in the November when I was due the following April. Surveys, solicitor delays, etc etc pushed it all out much later than we’d hoped and we ended up moving house with a 3 day old. Would not recommend 😂 Like the poster above I vote if you move during your pregnancy do it quickly or if that’s not possible hold off. Moving with a 6 month old would be better than 9 months pregnant or a few weeks postpartum.

So it could be very tight. I’d maybe agree but he’d have to do everything. Will he ?
Also the market is slow running up to Christmas.

Get on the phone and book some viewings.

get some agents out and yours advertised.

Update us in two weeks with what you’ve seen, what you liked and when yours is going live, if it hasn’t.

I moved at 36 week’s pregnant, it was fine and easier I imagine than with a baby or two toddlers

I moved at 7 months pregnant with a nearly 2 year old without removers, we did it ourselves. The new house was being renovated so didn't have a working kitchen (had the fridge and a microwave in the living room). The moving bit was fine, getting the renovations finished 3 days before Dd2 was born was a bit stressful 😂

I dont see the issue if you have run out of room you need more room so wouldn't it make more sense to do it now, being pregnant doesnt make life stop

You’ll soon have 2 children and 3 bedrooms - more than enough space! I presume the 2 bedrooms fit a single bed and fits the legal standard measurements of a single bedroom? You could move when they’re school age if they need more space.

I would say move now but make it very clear to your DH that there will be extra costs involved: cleaners to clean house top to bottom and movers to pack and unpack the house. If you have parents or in laws who are in a position to help too I would ask (even if it’s just providing childcare)